394 Comments
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oraxx's avatar

No one knows what Jesus looked like, and there is no definitive evidence he even existed. That said, every picture I've ever seen that purported to represent Jesus, shows a long haired European male who must have really stood out among Middle-Eastern Jews. If these creationists are so certain evolution is a fallacy then why don't they prove it, and go collect their Nobel Prize? They can't do that of course, so they go right on twisting themselves in knots, as they try to shoehorn the universe into their Bronze Age creation myth. Apologizing for having allowed a long haired creationist to speak at this college speaks directly to just how shallow the Christian message is.

Bill Wilson's avatar

Sign outside the IFB Church should say: “long-haired hippie people need not apply.”

oraxx's avatar

These people are as superficial as it gets.

Bensnewlogin's avatar

You're not being fair. There is a great deal of depth to their superficiality.

User's avatar
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Nov 26, 2023
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Bensnewlogin's avatar

Thank you. Where is my money??

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Nov 26, 2023
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Dane B. McFadhen's avatar

Ah yes. Sign sign everywhere a sign. I remember that song well. The lyricist was Robert Leslie Emmerson, a Canadian musician and singer. He was the lead vocalist and guitarist for the band Five Man Electrical Band, and their predecessor band The Staccatos.

'Signs' got to #4 in Canada and #3 in the U.S in 1971. The band, it should be noted, all had Jesus-hair.

cdbunch's avatar

I can't remember who covered it in the 90s, but that's the version I know.

tim gueguen's avatar

Tesla, on their 1990 Five Man Acoustical Jam live album.

Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Yes, seriously, I read them.

Matri's avatar

As I read the headline, it sounds like they’re sorry he has long hair (very girly/hippy) and not that he’s a Creationist.

Shuzi's avatar

Of course Jesus didn't look like a white man, but it's common that religious practitioners make their deities resemble them.

oraxx's avatar

We don't know what he looked like.

NOGODZ20's avatar

He's a fantasy character so let your imagination run riot. 😎

NOGODZ20's avatar

Damn, I got the wrong Kevin. QRs singer was Kevin DuBrow. Kevin Cronin, who appears on Dolly's LP, was in REO Speedwagon.

NOGODZ20's avatar

Kevin Cronin appears on Dolly Parton's 'Rockstar' LP.

Shuzi's avatar

No, but most historians think he would've looked similar to inhabitants of the Middle East and Levant today, as you seem to agree. My point is simply that many religions have deities that resemble the practitioners, so it's not surprising that white Christians made Jesus white.

oraxx's avatar

That was pretty much the point of my original comment. Artists of the early Middle Ages made Jesus look like them.

Lynnae's avatar

We know what he didn’t look like.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

𝐷𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑐𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑖𝑟 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑜𝑟 𝑐𝑙𝑖𝑝 𝑜𝑓𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑑𝑔𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑑.

-- Leviticus 19:27

Once again, we have hotshot fundamentalist Christians who, plainly and simply, 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗜𝗥 𝗕𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗘!!! Honestly, I have to wonder how many times we've run onto this phenomenon and boggled at the utter foolishness of their obsession with some parts of their holy book, while utterly IGNORING others.

Dee Martinez's avatar

You know we must carefully cherry pick Lev, guys. You just can’t go about Willy-nilly quoting EVERY rule in the bible. That is insanity.

Joe King's avatar

Bacon wrapped shrimp, twice the abomination!

Troublesh00ter's avatar

And twice as delicious! 😋

Matri's avatar

Add a cream sauce and it becomes a triple!

cdbunch's avatar

Don't you know by now, the only part of Leviticus meant for Christians as well as Jews, were the bits about putting gays to death. Everything else was just for the heathen Jews.

RegularJoe's avatar

Those cotton-poly blends seem to piss off their invisible sky fairy. Leviticus 19:19

XJC's avatar

Scissors hadn't been invented when this was written by God himself. It was a technological breakthrough when just 4 years later the first Electric razors became available in the year 14 AC.

NOGODZ20's avatar

Good thing I scrolled. You beat me to this particular bit of scripture.

SPW's avatar

And that is Leviticus certainly not the gospel. I mean, why would anyone in this church use Jesus as their example. He was as radical for his time as they come. He broke all sorts of Hebraic laws, he had long hair and he touched the unclean. I’m thinking that this church might have a problem with all that?

cdbunch's avatar

IFB. When Southern Baptists are too liberal and not hateful enough.

David Graf's avatar

That was long hair??? There's also a reason why IFB churches promote the KJV as described by someone who eventually left the movement. In his words, "Like other IFB teachings, I was always troubled by the fact that I had a difficult time reading and understanding the KJV. When I brought this up to my pastors, teachers, parents, leaders, etc. I would get the answer that it is for this reason that I should be in a good IFB church so that the Pastor could explain what the words in the KJV meant." In other words, it's just another way to control others. Here's the link if you want to read more - https://baptistdeception.com/kjv-only-deception/.

oraxx's avatar

They can talk about their loving Jesus and the glorious after-life from now on, but power and control over people on this mortal plain is what they really believe in.

Bill Wilson's avatar

In the Land of IFB where the Shadows lie. One bible version to rule them all, One version to find them, One version to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them, In the land of IFB where the shadows lie.

cdbunch's avatar

Not bad. Not bad at all.

David Graf's avatar

It's a shame that they've gone too often to the well for the LOTR series on Amazon. I'm almost to the point of hoping Sauron wins this time. To put it simply, I'm bored of the rings.

Sko Hayes's avatar

That's why religion was invented, as a way to control the masses.

Instill fear, perform a couple of fake miracles and you've got them right where you want them- submissive and afraid.

SPW's avatar

It’s been so for centuries; for as long as there was a class that could read. It was the priestly classes that kept reading of cuneiform writing, hieroglyphics or entrails all for themselves. Not much has changed since and they would just as soon keep the masses ignorant. Funny thing, the masses seem to want to become even more ignorant as many already seem to be.

Sko Hayes's avatar

When you're trained from birth to be a sheep...

SPW's avatar

Maybe. I used to go to a non-denominational church where there were all sorts of “recovering” Baptists, Catholics, Baptists….you get the drift here. Thing is, they had found their way out of that belief system. So it’s possible to get out from under the yolk of childhood belief indoctrination.

Sko Hayes's avatar

I have seen that happening more and more, where people move to a less judgmental church that welcomes everyone, and good for them.

David Graf's avatar

That's true for many which is ironic considering that the NT scriptures talk about how the greatest among them would be a servant to others. Scammers go where the power is. But, what truly scares me are the ones who lord it over others and really think that they're doing it for our benefit. Those types are more than capable of doing the worst things to accomplish what they consider to be a good result.

Bensnewlogin's avatar

Bertrand Russell made the same observation, David. This isn't what he said, and I'm too lazy and haven't had enough coffee yet to go find it, but this is basically it: religion is what you get when someone reads the Bible to you. Atheism is what you get when you read it to yourself.

David Graf's avatar

Of course, there those who would represent sad counter-examples such as C.S. Lewis.

Bensnewlogin's avatar

As I've written before, I very nearly became a Christian 55 years ago due to the influence of CS Lewis. Unfortunately, reading him with a bit of college under my belt revealed his logical inconsistencies.

Patricia Kayden's avatar

I guess because I grew up SDA, I understand the KJV the most. I no longer believe in the Bible but never found the KJV difficult to understand.

Christians should question why a god would need so many interpretations of his words. Why not just have one crystal version?

cdbunch's avatar

Satan has corrupted all those other versions. The KJV is the only translation true to the original books, inspired by God. (Don't tell them the translators worked from the Catholic Latin texts)

Sandra Carmen Marrujo's avatar

Not to mention that King James was homosexual.......

cdbunch's avatar

As I told Val upthread, that would be fun as long as I don't have to clean up the mess.

oraxx's avatar

I cannot accept the idea an all powerful god who could will the universe into existence, would pass along the most important message imaginable in a form subject to never-ending debate. Particularly so when that debate has had so many horrific outcomes for humanity.

Joan the Dork's avatar

In all of the history of Christianity, no one has shed more Christian blood than other Christians who disagreed with the Christians whose blood they spilled over which specific version of Christianity was the right one.

oraxx's avatar

Attempting to sort out who was, or was not, a TRUE Christian, has spilled enough blood to float the Navy.

David Graf's avatar

True but you see the same thing in secular movements such as some extreme political movements where people die over things such as the true meaning of the "dictatorship of the proletariat". It's no excuse or justification for religious violence. It's just an observation or a warning that the same mindset ("true believerism") is a threat wherever it exists.

Matri's avatar

Keep in mind said all-powerful “god” tried and failed to keep humans from gaining knowledge, and threw a tantrum over it

The all-seeing “god” didn’t see that coming.

NOGODZ20's avatar

It's his own fault for putting all knowledge in a piece of fruit and hanging it from a tree in their presence. This god is stuuu-pid!

Lynn James's avatar

Or maybe just sadistic. "come on....give me a reason to punish you."

David Graf's avatar

Whenever you have more than one person involved, the possibility exists for multiple interpretations. It's no different for the Bible than for other documents say the Constitution. After all, communication depends not just upon the communicator but the audience as well. It is shameful that differences have resulted in deaths. That's why I support the separation of church and state to prevent the power of the state from being used against non-conformists.

Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Romans 1:19-21 (NIV)

19 since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

Since Mr. Omnipotent made himself known to everyone, even in the Americas and Australia, he could have made the correct version of his holy word known to everyone too. Or maybe we should call him Mr. Omni-impotent.

David Graf's avatar

I think that it depends upon your background. The KJV in some ways reads more majestically than more modern and accurate translations which lack any sense of style.

Maltnothops's avatar

All together now: “Well, isn’t that Christian of them.”

Sko Hayes's avatar

It's about loyalty signaling to the cult- all cult members must adhere to the dress code or face expulsion.

The more I read about cults, the more I learn about religion.

Joe King's avatar

Same thing, really.

Joan the Dork's avatar

A religion is nothing but a cult that's got a professional PR team.

cdbunch's avatar

I wouldn't call either *sane*. :)

Joe King's avatar

Oops, typoed. Fixed it.

Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

"Une religion est une secte qui a réussi."

Whitney's avatar

It's been said around these parts many times: In a cult, there's someone at the top who knows it's all BS. In a religion, that person is dead.

So far as I've ever been able to tell, that is the only difference.

Bill Wilson's avatar

The IFB theme song is:

… Clean shirt, new shoes

And I don't know where I am goin' to

Silk suit, black tie (black tie)

I don't need a reason why

… They come runnin' just as fast as they can

'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man

… Gold watch, diamond ring

I ain't missin' not a single thing

Cufflinks, stick pin

When I step out I'm gonna do you in

… They come runnin' just as fast as they can

'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man

… Top coat, top hat

And I don't worry 'cause my wallet's fat

Black shades, white gloves

Lookin' sharp, lookin' for love

… They come runnin' just as fast as they can

'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man - ZZ Top, ‘Sharp Dressed Man’

cdbunch's avatar

Are you kidding? Besides being the devil's music, the hair on the band members would have classified them as hated hippies.

Bill Wilson's avatar

If they've (IFB), unflinchingly, gazed upon an image of Jesus they will come to the spiritual awakening that ZZ is the Double Omega complete with all the hair fixens.

cdbunch's avatar

Boy, are you lucky they're not allowed to burn heretics or blasphemers at the stake.

Joe King's avatar

Don't tell them what 𝘓𝘢 𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 is about.

RegularJoe's avatar

A home for nice girls....it's out on the range. 🙂

Stephen Brady's avatar

Imagine if you will, the hubris it takes to label all the christians outside your little sect as heretics and send them to Hell. I lived in AL back in the day and each year the state baptist convention published a count of all the non-baptists who went to Hell that year. I said this yesterday: religion is all about separating people into ‘US’ and ‘THEM’. I think it is a learned disease.

Maltnothops's avatar

“ each year the state baptist convention published a count of all the non-baptists who went to Hell that year.”

And did this make those Baptists happy or sad?

Stephen Brady's avatar

They gloated about all the false christians who were in Hell!

Maltnothops's avatar

That’s what I figured. I was raised Missouri Synod Lutheran. We were absolutely certain that other Lutherans were hell bound. And everyone else? Well, duh!

XJC's avatar

Alahu Akbar! Ka-Boom!

NOGODZ20's avatar

The Religion of Peace has child suicide bombers.

*shakes head*

XJC's avatar

Us vs Them: God's Plan. Do not question the man behind the curtain.

Whitney's avatar

Long-haired freaky people need not apply, it would seem.

Talk about your tempest in a teakettle. If this is the worst thing to happen to the church in recent memory, they should count their lucky stars and be grateful. This nonissue is so boring as to make me wonder what this church is covering up, even though there's no evidence of such a thing. It's like watching the latest episode of some Christianized soap opera.

Wake me up when something actually happens.

OwossoHarpist's avatar

This is so 1950s' and 60s' it's unreal.

Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

“and they even cited the NIV Bible (which IFB Christians reject wholeheartedly because it’s not the King James Bible, a.k.a. the “inspired” word of God ).“

No one tell them who King James was.

larry parker's avatar

Are you saying that King James had long hair? ; )

cdbunch's avatar

I can understand the janitors taking that position, but it would be so much fun to tell them.

Lynn James's avatar

Oh, PLEEEEEZ tell them! I want to see their heads explode.

Patricia Kayden's avatar

“long haired hippie”

Dude’s hair wasn’t even long!! I was expecting an Aron Ra lookalike with long, flowing hair. Disappointed!!

larry parker's avatar

"fallacies of evolution"

Name one.

Bonus points if you can do it without another fallacy.

cdbunch's avatar

The classic: "If we came from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?"

Holytape's avatar

Or the Alabama version, If my cousin came from my aunt how come she still my grandma?

Kay-El's avatar

Evolutionary biologist Hershel Walker had trouble explaining that one

cdbunch's avatar

The jock primates drove the nerd primates out of the forest and our ancestors had to learn to walk upright to see the predators in the grass. The Jocks became chimps and the nerd became humans. In another couple of hundred thousand years, who knows what the Jock humans will 'evolve' into.

cdbunch's avatar

See it? I think I'm living it.

Bensnewlogin's avatar

Forget about Jesus and his long hair. What about Samson? You can bet Sampson didn't conquer Ninevah, or whatever they hell place it was, with a crew cut and a business suit. That man wore a dress!

cdbunch's avatar

Heathens (including Jews) could wear their hair long. That was one of the things that made them heathens.

Bensnewlogin's avatar

So he and patroclus were not above doing a bit of drag. Probably took the stress off all of that slaying and smiting.

cdbunch's avatar

Probably some straight Renaissance painter (I assume there must have been at least one) trying to straight-wash Achilles with the Mike Huckabee brush.

Joe King's avatar

𝑇𝑜 𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑒 𝑗𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑝𝑜𝑙𝑜 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑟𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑙𝑓 𝑐𝑙𝑢𝑏 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑦 𝑎 𝑡𝑜𝑡𝑎𝑙 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝐺𝑜𝑑’𝑠 𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑, 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑐ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑐ℎ, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑦.

The polo shirt was promoting the event. Being pissed about a presenter effectively wearing the event uniform is bonkers.

Kay-El's avatar

That idiot has his tie way too cinched

cdbunch's avatar

"Something happens to man when he puts on a tie, it cuts off the flow of oxygen to his brain."

Between Baptist preachers and most executives, I'm pretty much convinced it's true.

Matri's avatar

Not tight enough, IMHO.

XJC's avatar

Imagine the reaction to walking around with a shirt proclaiming your attendance at a creationist educational conference!

cdbunch's avatar

The Baptist preacher's uniform is white shirt, dark grey or navy suit and red tie.

cdbunch's avatar

That's the formal uniform. On everyday Sundays, light grey or tan suits with blue or black ties are acceptable.

cdbunch's avatar

Before Obama wore one they were fine.

NOGODZ20's avatar

Funny how there wasn't a peep from the GOP when Reagan, Eisenhower and the two Bushes wore tan suits.

Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

If Jesus had existed he would never had wore pants and short hair because they were symbols of Roman soldiers. Unless Celsus was right and Jesus was a precursor for Arminius.

Bensnewlogin's avatar

Those damn Arminians will not stay dead!