192 Comments

The Ark Encounter is a monument to human ignorance. It should not be getting a cent of public money, either directly or indirectly.

Expand full comment

All the reason why the State of Kentucky is doubling down on it.

Expand full comment

“This is how good Ken Ham has it. He doesn’t even have to market his pathetic attractions. He has the taxpayer-funded local tourism group doing it for him, white-washing his Christian bigotry while promoting his specific religious perspective in ads. Best of all? Ham doesn’t have to pay a dime for the publicity.“

And yet, he has yet to make the attendance numbers he expected his first year.

Expand full comment

“an exact replica of Noah’s Ark according to the book of Genesis. This beautiful piece of architecture is filled with state-of-the-art exhibitions“

Beautiful is subjective, and yet I can’t help but believe the Ark is objectively ugly in all kinds of ways, including the superficial exterior.

State of the art has a clear meaning and anything that is trying to make us believe the Ark story is true cannot be state of the art. From what I have seen of the ark’s exhibits, they are far from state of the art. They’ve been putting speakers in boxes since speakers were invented dear.

Expand full comment

All the state of the art Dumb Idiot Ham is worthless models, placards plastered all over the walls, dioramas displaying creation fantasies taken from a trilogy of novels an AiG official wrote that was later adapted into the putrid park exhibits Dumb Idiot Ham operates and a plain jane carousel.

Expand full comment
Mar 5, 2023·edited Mar 5, 2023

I've only seen inside the ark on debunking You tube videos, but I once went to the "Life through Time" exhibition in San Francisco – sometime in the 1980s – and the animation of the dinosaurs in the Ark don't look any better than that. So state-of-the-art?

Expand full comment

I don't know if "state of the art" is all that clear, it doesn't say which state or what kind of art. But yes, it certainly implies something. Same with things like "space age materials," usually is plain old aluminum, or "military grade," I'm sure you're familiar with how good that can be.

Expand full comment

"Come See The Genocide Park" would be more accurate.

Expand full comment

Xenocide, more like. Wiping out all but two of everything because the humans were being naughty (except, of course, the humans themselves, who get to keep a whole family)? Dude's got some serious anger issues. And, clearly, his targeting issues go back 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 farther than punishing the gays in California by dropping tornadoes on Oklahoma...

Expand full comment

Could have Thanos'd humanity out of existence. Chose to drown puppies and kittens.

Expand full comment

OT: At last we have a real, true, really truly accurate explanation for what makes people gay: drinking water. If a pastor says so, it absolutely MUST be true, right? https://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/2023/03/you-might-be-gay-if-you-drink-tap-water-says-desantis-nominee-who-calls-lgbtq-people-evil/

Expand full comment

Please tell me he told his congregation to boycott water…

Expand full comment

Including any and all baptisms.

Expand full comment

Have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J67wKhddWu4

Expand full comment

Have you ever tasted distilled water? 🤢

Expand full comment

What else are they supposed to drink, Perrier?

Expand full comment

"Water? Fish fuck in it!"

Expand full comment

The blue whale ejaculates 40 gallons of sperm whenever they mate, and only about 10% enters the female.

Remember where the rest goes…

Expand full comment

Do you know the French singer Renaud, he has a song "Dès que le vent soufflera" (As soon as the wind will blow) with these exact words in it.

La mer, c'est dégueulasse

Les poissons baisent dedans

The sea, it's disgusting

Fish fuck in it

Expand full comment

Piss and shit in it, too.

Expand full comment

I'm really fascinated by the implication that straight people never drink water. I mean...huh?!

Expand full comment

It's Christianity. It doesn't have to make sense.

In fact, the more nonsensical the better.

Expand full comment

I knew a girl in high school who drank nothing but diet mountain dew for a while. Caused a lot of problems.

Expand full comment

What does that mean for us bi folks? Guess I need to stop drinking this trickle of water and avoid it altogether. :p

Expand full comment

I prefer San Pellegrino.

Expand full comment

So does my brother.

Expand full comment

Wanna know what I consider "evil," p-ass-tor? Your religion's clergy raping children.

Expand full comment

I suspect kickbacks from the bottled water industry. (70% of the planet is covered in water, and they still managed to convince people to pay for it, that's some stellar marketing and criminal manipulation)

Expand full comment

Ayup. Every time there is a hurricane brewing nearby, I see people buying shopping carts full of bottled water. I have three reusable five-gallon water jugs.

Expand full comment

So, drinking tap water causes you to be gay, people have to drink water and the easiest way to get it is from the tap or some folks have no other option, so it is out of anyones control according to you. And yet you still call them evil.

It’s not your fault but you’re still bad for it.

Literally the whole basis of Christianity.

Expand full comment

*Drink some tape water and start to watch a lesbian porn video*

*About 1 minute later*

Nope, still as straight as a board 😁

Expand full comment

I applaud your research, but I think it need to be more rigorous. Perhaps several hours of lesbian porn. I can help if needed.

Expand full comment

Lesbian porn made by lesbians for lesbians.

I once came across a clip of the guy below directing a lesbian scene. Yes, a gay drag queen directing lesbian porn. 🤔

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chi_Chi_LaRue

Expand full comment

I would get more excitation from watching a candle burn 😏

MFM or MMFM.

Expand full comment

M&M.

Expand full comment

Too much sugar and not vegan anyway 😋

Expand full comment

So if oestrogen make men gays, all women should be lesbians right ?

*Understand at 42 that she is not a woman*

PS : just in case, this is a joke, not a dig against transpeople.

Expand full comment

Imagine if all people had estrogen naturally in their bodies. Would we all be gay?

That was a joke, all humans have some level of both estrogen and testosterone and each individual has their own mix. It can be a part of why some folks are LGBT but it isn’t the cause. If only asshole preachers would do a minimal research into biology they could avoid looking this stupid.

Expand full comment

I once came across an article about a group of scientists who decided to check men's testosterone levels to see if there were any differences based on profession. Professional athletes had the highest levels, and pastors had the lowest levels. Take what you will from that.

Expand full comment

Was the athletes natural though?

Expand full comment

If they researched anything about biology 101, would they still be preachers* ?

*The ones who don't con enough money. joel noesteem and creepy TV screen man are another thing.

Expand full comment

*𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳*

*𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳*

Drat, don't tell me I all I've got is that lousy, boring cis/het water. My copy of The Agenda lied to me! I was promised things, dammit!

Expand full comment

You've seen the Agenda? Aren't you special. I'm still waiting for my copy.

Expand full comment

Wasn't this place closed down for awhile last year because of excessive rain?

Expand full comment
Mar 5, 2023·edited Mar 5, 2023

IKR? The irony is delicious.

Ham played it cheap and didn't treat the wood. Then the park's lawyers sued the insurance company over his own dumbassery.

Expand full comment

A ten-year-old has 8 simple questions to ask Mr. Ham:

How did Koalas get onto the ark?

How did Koalas get back to Australia?

How did Sloths get onto the ark?

How did Sloths get back to South America?

If all humans except Noah's clan died in the flood, how did the Chinese return to Asia?

If all humans except Noah's clan died in the flood, how did Black Africans return to Africa?

If all humans except Noah's clan died in the flood, how did North American natives return to NA?

If all humans except Noah's clan died in the flood, why doesn't all human DNA lead back to Noah?

Signed,

Billy

PS Pangaea is about 300 million years ago

Expand full comment

Dear Billy,

Magic.

Sincerely, Ken

Expand full comment

You have to know the clear, obvious answer to all those questions: "Mysterious Ways!" The convenient response to any and all inconvenient questions.

Expand full comment

Where did the little kids stay on the ark?

What? Then what happened to them?

Why?

Expand full comment

And how did the survivors of the flood repopulate the world?

Incest. The Noah Family's dirty little not-so-secret.

Expand full comment

It was good enough for Abraham. Why not Noah too?

Expand full comment

Don't forget the offspring of Adam and Eve.

Expand full comment

Don't forget, Cain got his wife from a VILLAGE!

Expand full comment

She was the creation of Zeus. Which probably means Cain's first child was a demigod.

Expand full comment

I don't think "Come see Ham's Boondoggle" would work as advertising.

Expand full comment
Mar 5, 2023·edited Mar 5, 2023

I hope that's not a euphemism, I don't want to see anything of Ham's.

Expand full comment

😃

Literal, as in "a wasteful or impractical project or activity often involving graft".

Expand full comment

I miss being able to post images, because I can't seem to find the right meme with ye olde Google just now. Y'know, the one with everything around the Ark Park labeled "Noah's construction crane," "Noah's service elevator," etc.?

Expand full comment

For decades christers have been denying the Bible endorses slavery, in an attempt to bluff their bigotry out of existence. Now they're admitting it does, in an attempt to justify their bigotry?! I have to wonder for the umptieth time what makes them so damn smart.

Expand full comment
Mar 5, 2023·edited Mar 5, 2023

They participated in it and profited from it, then turned right around and claimed they'd led the way in its abolition.

Expand full comment

“I was quoting the scripture,”

Oh – that makes it all right then.

Expand full comment

I'd quote the bible back at Adams, but there's no mention of basketball in that book.

Is Adams completely unaware of Christianity's sordid history with the institution of slavery and how Christians proudly waved their bibles in defense of it?

Expand full comment

Wait, if basketball isn’t mentioned in the Bible, does that mean he’s participating in a Satanic Ritual?

Le gasp!

Expand full comment

If he follows the Washington Wizards, it'll be a dead giveaway.

Expand full comment

Sounds mostly like the "god-complex" too many coaches have. "My word is law and you will obey without question and take any punishment I see fit for any offense, real or imagined, that I see fit."

Expand full comment

He also spit on the player and his excuse was that he was sick at the time. That makes it so much worse, you prick. But then a witness to the incident, not the victim of the spitting who was also the target of the bible verse, said the coach said he can spit on him whenever he pleases.

What a charmer. It sounds like he won’t be back, I hope not.

Expand full comment

Churches need to be taxed and the funding needs to be earmarked for actual education and healthcare.

Expand full comment
Mar 5, 2023·edited Mar 5, 2023

It's OT, but I thought of Guerillasurgeon when I saw this...

https://www.gocomics.com/doonesbury/2023/03/05

Expand full comment

I didn't think that the rest of the world knew about that to be honest. It's nice of the Doonesbury guy to acknowledge that. She's a bit too centrist for me, but I give her every credit for the Covid thing. She was regularly excoriated on MSN by idiots. But I think partly because she's a woman – women leaders do get more, different and worse harassment than men from what I can gather. Don't really blame her for giving up, polls had her still at preferred prime minister, but party figures were in the toilet.

Expand full comment

Party was full of old white men, I presume.

Expand full comment

Hmmmm ... Less so than in the US or Britain I think.

https://www.labour.org.nz/ourteam

Expand full comment

Does the Seattle Times cut out the the first two panels? The TBT does. 😤

Expand full comment

Yeah, they do. Never could figure out why.

Expand full comment

Graven image. A total violation of the 2nd Commandment.

Were YHVH real, it would've been kindling. Or Ham & Co. would've gotten lightning bolts in their rectums the moment construction began.

Expand full comment

Hey, I've met guys who are into that. Ham may actually have been hoping for it.

Expand full comment

I had to look it up. There really is something called "erotic electrostimulation."

Humans. If it exists, people have had sex with it.

Expand full comment

If one day you have nothing better to do, google "weird dildos" 😁

Expand full comment

Shouldn't that be wired dildos? : )

Expand full comment

I saw an episode of a TV show (don't remember which one) with a murder caused by an electric dildo who was tampered with so no 😁

Expand full comment

Also the Anal Intruder scene in Top Secret and the dildo machine thingie from Naked Gun 2.

Expand full comment

I've seen them up close and personal.

One "adult book store" I went to featured very realistic animal dildos (stallions and male dogs). The stallions were life-sized and the canine ones even had knots. For the adventurous only.

Expand full comment

When I was in San Francisco; for the PTK national convention in 1990, we went into a bookstore that had "Inflatable Rubber Sheep For Sale" on its marquee. One of our group was a teenage exchange student from Yugoslavia, as we passed the gay magazine section, I casually gestured to one that had a horse-hung guy on the cover about to penetrate another guy. She took one look at it and ran out of the store. 😁 Yes, yes, I know I should be ashamed of myself. One woman, as we went by the toys section, started pointing to things and would say, "I have that one and that one . . ."

Expand full comment

I'd upvote that, but I can't un-see it unfortunately. Particularly the knots.

Expand full comment

They even had a variant on the dog ones where you could alter the size of the knot. :)

Expand full comment

Lightning Bolts In Their Rectums would be a great death-metal band name.

Expand full comment

Wonder what their stage set would look like. :)

Expand full comment

Ham is apparently worth $55 million. To be fair he's tooken 99.999% of it off the excessively religious, but another example of not living up to Jesus' teachings.

Expand full comment

According to them, living up to Jesus' teachings is only for other people, not Christians.

Expand full comment

An exact replica of something that was impossible to ever have happened. How is this even possible? And why are they using public money to promote it?

Expand full comment

That's quite a seaworthy vessel. And with the technology of the day, I'm quite sure it navigated the floods seamlessly from Jerusalem to Lexington, KY.

Expand full comment

It certainly navigated large amounts of ill-gotten greenbacks into the bank accounts of the grifters who built it!

Expand full comment

You mean, from its final resting place: Mt. Ararat!

Expand full comment