214 Comments
User's avatar
Tim Robbins's avatar

He had an out of bottle experience…

John Smith's avatar

That is right on point!

D Schmitt's avatar

Wait, I thought religion needed a bottle to be belived?

oraxx's avatar

What is far worse than this man’s delusions is the fact every Senate Republican will vote to confirm him for a job he is clearly not fit to hold.

Anri's avatar

What's (IMHO) even worse than that is a number of those senators are convinced he is, 100% dead-cert, fit to hold the job because Jesus.

Matri's avatar

Literally EVERY SINGLE PERSON in this turd reich from the President down is either a nutcase, a whack job, a nut job, or a whack case.

NOGODZ20's avatar

And just plain incompetent, completely unsuited for their positions.

Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

When they said “meritocracy” I thought they were talking about the ability and credentials to do the jobs they were hired for. What they really meant was get the most attention by any means necessary. And kiss up to the least qualified, and capable person on the planet.

Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

Wait, they misspelled “mediocrity “. That makes more sense.

Sorry to reply to myself.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

No worries! 😁👍

Jane in NC's avatar

Or an outright psychopath.

Keith E. Cooper's avatar

Yep. As George Carlin once said, "Full-blown wackaloons."

Bensnewlogin's avatar

You’re not being fair here.

Con men.

The Epistler's avatar

It's the new version of DEI. Finally, an administration that doesn't discriminate against incompetent lunatics.

oraxx's avatar

Tlrump's only hiring criteria is unquestioning loyalty. That doesn't leave him with much of a talent pool to draw from. Competent people with high ethical standards simply do not work for Donald Trump.

Kay-El's avatar

You forgot kook

Len's avatar

“ … he claimed that his vehicle “lifted up” while he was driving and carried him roughly 40 miles from Albany, Georgia, before setting him down in a ditch near a church.“

So he claims he blacked out and ended up in a ditch after having driven 40 miles that he apparently doesn’t remember. He's lucky he didn’t kill someone.

Joan the Dork's avatar

Everyone else, however, is 𝘶𝘯lucky... that he didn't find a nice, stout telephone pole before he found the ditch.

Elise's avatar

Last I heard blackouts made you well qualified for AA.

Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

Honestly, I question his diagnoses. He might have had cancer, but I highly doubt he was told it’s terminal and suddenly it’s gone. Even with a new treatment.

I am assuming, if it happened at all, he was blind drunk and drove himself somewhere he wasn’t aware of. Otherwise he’s just saying things to get the attention of the looney right wingers who prioritize their religious convictions over reality.

Joan the Dork's avatar

Knowing the propensity of wingnuts to blow everything out of proportion to puff themselves up, he probably just had a 𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 cancerous mole excised.

Boreal's avatar

He could be a tweaker.

Len's avatar

Or a jumper.

Holytape's avatar

I too was teleported to a waffle house. But unlike him I got the names of those alien buggers who did it to me, Vod-ka, Vike-oden, and Met-am-fed-am-in. The bastards the lot of them,... We meet every Friday and the dumpster behind the Motel 6.

larry parker's avatar

Do they leave a light on for you?

Jane in NC's avatar

Is the teleporter in the room with us right now, Gregg?

NOGODZ20's avatar

And is Montgomery Scott at the controls?

Maltnothops's avatar

Scotty could have done it!

Bonnie Boyce's avatar

No wonder the U.S. is a worldwide embarrassment.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

What's harder to believe? I think we have a photo finish here, with the "teleportation" and Yahweh's movement tied with Jesus coming again in a three-way tie.

This is what we have been reduced to. Trump's incessant mendacity has been embraced by the madhouse Christians, each providing support to the other. The cardinal rule appears to be: "The first liar doesn't have a chance," and we have Greggy here doing his damnedest to outdo everyone else, Trump included.

Simply beyond belief.

Bensnewlogin's avatar

I don’t often experience magic and miracles, when I do, the place I want to experience them in is a corporate hell hole of high-fat culinary depravity.

Alternatively…

Boy howdy! Let’s give the inmates a chance to run the asylum. After all, they understand crazy. It’s just crazy enough that it might work.

Or Alternatively…

What's harder to believe? That God could move in a moment during a spiritual battle, or

Jesus Christ rose from the dead and is coming again?

How about… that god’s supreme move in his eternal game of magical chess was to transport a pawn to a corporate simulacrum of fine dining…

Because god works in mysterious ways.

as Mencken put it: “ The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.”

Troublesh00ter's avatar

𝐺𝑜𝑑 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠.

-- Aron Ra

Crowscage's avatar

No one that I know spells blackout drunk as teleport. I am so utterly sick of these fucking lunatics.

wreck's avatar

The point we need to drive home is that Phillips is a tool who has several screws loose.

Die Anyway's avatar

I think we need to drill down on this topic.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

And hammer the message home!

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Think I wrenched my back doing it!

Maltnothops's avatar

He needs to get a grip on his vices.

Boreal's avatar

Oh thou naysayers, who amongst us has not teleported to Waffle House?

🤣🤣

Joe King's avatar

The usual method is to be drunk and hungry at 3 am.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Do you suppose Greggy had a bad case of the munchies from a little weed, maybe? 🤔

Joan the Dork's avatar

Not me! I have 𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘭𝘺 never ended up at a Waffle House inexplicably after a late night doing who-knows-what.

IHOP, on the other hand...

Linda's avatar
Apr 5Edited

Because conservatives love Waffle House! Love the South and love the Confederacy. True “patriots” only! 😂

larry parker's avatar

I've never been to a Waffle House.

Maltnothops's avatar

I have. WH does a perfectly fine job of serving up breakfast 24 hours a day. I don't go often but its for eggs, sausage, and hashbrowns. The taters can be dressed up any number of ways. My pancakes are generally better than restaurant ones so I never bother with that. And waffles have never been my carb.

Boreal's avatar

Me either. We don't have them around us.

NOGODZ20's avatar

I got teleported to Dick’s Drive-In the other day. I stepped aboard a bus and BOOM. Deposited half-a-block from them. It’s a miracle!

NOGODZ20's avatar

Gods, it's long past time for the Rapture to get these dolts off the planet.

Guerillasurgeon's avatar

Dammit, I hate to approve of the daily mail.

Linda's avatar

Jesus Christ! Lock them up already. I’m tired.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

I don't know about a "new twist," but that Tarwater character is clearly TWISTED.

Mr.E's avatar

the twist it is a right-wing Christian professor instead of pastor. not much of a twist but think it counts

Maltnothops's avatar

Not a drag queen, etc, etc, etc ..

larry parker's avatar

Teleported, or whatever, to a Waffle House. God's miracles ain't what they used to be.

NOGODZ20's avatar

Not even teleported to heaven via an NDE. Phillips aimed low and got low.

Boreal's avatar

I heard it was a place to avoid eating at.

https://ibb.co/k2b6rGdt