Being a decent human being to their ๐ค๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฅ is harmful but severe depression and suicidal ideation DUE TO THEIR ACTIONS AND ATTITUDES is not? Jesus H Motherfucking Christ on a cracker, these fucking parents are just a half step short of stoning her to death for disrespect. ๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐ค๐ฃ ๐ง๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐จ๐๐จ ๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ฎ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ๐.
I don't know this poor girl, but I can guarantee I have far more fatherly love for her than her flesh and blood sperm donor.
It's not clear, but it sounds like the poor young lady is still living with her parents. I want to tell her, "Honey, if they're pushing you to the point of considering taking your own life, you've got nothing to lose by walking away, it can't be any worse" I know they're her parents and that makes it very hard, but everyone needs to cut such toxic people out of their life.
I keep a list I post when it seems on topic, both in the hope of donations and in case someone reading this post should need their services. It's too Texas-centered truthfully, and I welcome additions.
I had run across that one, but it seemed to be religion based which left me concerned about proselytizing and if they were just giving lip service to serving LGBTQ+ youth.
Edit: Still I've added it to the list on your recommendation. If anyone would preemptively curse an organization for such crimes, it would be you.
Cowardly anonymous crister daddy hates his transgender daughter (even though she's a Christian) but claims to love his god?
"If someone says, "I love God," but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?"
My goodness this father is useless as a parent. Doesn't listen, constantly rebukes, drives child further and further into depression and does nothing but cry how hard being a parent is when Jesus is on your side.
โHe concludes that this is all in Godโs handsโฆโ
If it is Godโs hands, then why is he fighting his childโs reality. If itโs in Godโs hands, then God made his daughter transgender.
โWe know every parent has to die to self to truly love his or her childโฆโ
Then let your ego die and accept your child as she is. This whole article is an ego trip, โlook at me, Iโm a super good Christian, so good in fact that Iโm willing to torture my children before I show them the true love of a parent.โ I thought you die for your children, I thought youโre supposed to die to yourself to accept Jesus. But I guess thatโs just something you say to get folks to admire you.
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sister---yes, even their own life---such a person cannot be my disciple."
-- Luke 14:26
"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."
-- Matthew 10:37
You know who's not worthy, Jesus? You. Even if you were real, which you aren't and never were. You're just not worth all the trouble you and your followers cause in the world.
The previous two verses are just as important and informative:
For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. A manโs enemies will be the members of his own household. - Matthew 10:35-36
This is christian love. This is being christ-like. The more christ-like people are, the worse the world gets.
When we value ideas more than we value people, is it any wonder some people cannot perceive the humanity of others?
Given the loving, hippie, communist things he supposedly said, either he has a split personality or different people with different agendas put words in his mouth.
Fanfic is supposed to mostly remain true to the original character's character.
The problem is not Jesus, the Jew. The problem is his followers who have bastardized his words, which by the way, was written and rewritten many times over for Pope's and Kings. Jesus gets a bad rap.
He can take it. He doesn't exist. There's no evidence he ever existed. Wish we could say the same for those who subscribe to the religion centered on the fantasy of Jesus. Especially from 380 CE on.
Another example of someone putting ideology over relationships. Transgender, gay, pregnant out of wedlock; lots of kids have been turned out of their homes in the name of ideological virtue. Lots of family members and friends shunned for leaving or marrying out of the one of many one true religions.
Having said that, Iโm hypocritically about ready to shun all relatives who vote for Trump in 2024. But I wouldnโt kick a kid out of my house for doing so.
Indeed. In December 1970, during the coldest winter on record in the San Francisco Bay Area, my mother threw me out of the family home. For having been prescribed birth control pills. For a medical condition that she had denied existed for four years. Because her (catholic) priest told her that birth control pills were "evil" and and "girls" who took them were "evil whores." (Direct quotes BTW.) Had I not gotten help, I would have just been another anonymous teenager, frozen to death on the streets of San Francisco. Long story short, my mother was another one of those religious parents who would rather have had a dead kid than a live kid who was no longer part of her cult.
DM's grandmother had her temper but she didn't shun her daughters for having sex (or babies) before being wedded. I don't think she would have shunned a gay kid either.
I would be willing to bet quite a sum of money that the priest advising your mom was busy screwing boys or girls or both. That kind of hatred usually comes from self-hate.
Hmm. I don't know. However, the next parish over--about a mile away--was the diocesan dumping ground for abusive priests. The priests were in the habit of coming into the classrooms at the parochial school there and selecting students to take back to the rectory with them. (This was in the Diocese of Oakland, in California. That diocese declared bankruptcy in May, for the reasons we've all heard. The diocese's founding bishop was named in December of last year as an abuser. He's the guy who confirmed me in the spring of 1964.)
I learned that there were plenty of rogue priests in my home diocese in Pennsylvania too, when its report came out a few years ago. Luckily, I wasn't acquainted with any of them. IT was creepy, though, know that they were there when I was.
Yeah, I was really creeped out to find out in December that that bishop had molested a girl just a few years after he confirmed me. (Everybody seemed to think he was a saint. When I talked back to him at my confirmation, and told him, "NO don't do that to me!" he told me to "shut the fuck up, kid.")
Hell yes. My husband's biological father is toxic and we shun him. In fact, every single person who have ever had contact with him shuns him. Including his son, brother, late partner's children and their grandchildren and former friends. His last message to me was that I must be suffering from alzheimer. If I am, it is non of his business.
TBH, I do too. Not forever, but I would have liked Scalia to wake up and realize what an asshole he'd been in life and spend a few decades paying for it.
' He loves his trans daughter, he writes, adding that he loves Jesus more. Which is a not-so-subtle way of saying he doesnโt actually love his trans daughter unconditionally." I don't know if I would put it that way. I would say that he loves his daughter as much as he can, but he doesn't love her very much. I recognize the syndrome, because that's what I went through with my parents more than 50 years ago when I came out as gay. It took a while to realize it, but eventually I understood. They loved me as much as they were capable of loving me. They just didn't love me very much. As I said to them in a letter when I was finally at the point of just giving up on them: "it's clear to me that your beliefs about homosexuality and what it means to be gay are more important to you than truth, compassion, and fairness, and certainly, more important to you than your relationship relationship with your son ."
And there is so much more in this.
He's chosen the use of pronouns as the hill he wants his daughter to die on. I spend a lot of time over at quora, and the pronoun issue looms pretty big there. How dare you force me to use pronouns that I don't wish to use? Of course, it's just their persecution complex going into overdrive, powering the right wing outrage machine. If he is talking to his daughter, what pronoun is he going to use besides "you ". His daughter is asking for some respect, not for him to abandon integrity, and honesty.
But he already did that, didn't he? He did it the moment he decided he would be persecuted for his beliefs, rather than trying to understand his daughter. It's very common over a Quora. They're not interested in understanding, they're interested in being outraged, being right, and aboveall, being culture warriors-- more importantly, being culture warriors for God, culture warriors on the winning side.
He gives it all away right here: "He concludes that this is all in Godโs handsโฆ which is another way of saying he doesnโt plan to change anything about his own thoughts or actions...Does god care?" Can we translate from the Jesus?
God has a wonderful plan. Why isn't God doing what I tell him to do? Why can't I be bothered to understand God's wonderful plan? It's not fair to me. ME! ME ! ME! His whole belief system is under assault, and his response is to circle his wagon. There is no responsibility for him. He says over and over and over again how much he raised his daughter to be a good Christian robot. And yet here she is, telling him what he doesn't want to hear. He has failed as a parent. His religion has failed Him and her. Surely, he wants to trust God, but he doesn't trust that God has a wonderful plan for everyone. It's not the plan he would have chosen, and he simply does not understand why God will not do what he is told.
This affects me because this is what I went through 50 years ago. My parents didn't use God as their excuse. If they had, it probably would have made it easier for me. I tried for 12 years to get through to them but nothing did. I was a good son. I never got into any trouble. I was a straight a student, an athlete, a recognized musician and writer. I was well liked by my friends and teachers. But none of that made any difference.
Likewise, for this father, his belief systems are under assault, primarily by himself โ he just prefers to blame his daughter. He will not admit that he has failed her, or that is intellect and his belief system and all of his JesusIng have failed himself.
I have several friends that went through what you did and it just blows. I stood up for my friend at her civil union (no marriage allowed back then) because no family there, they just couldnโt cope (and somehow they thought it was my โfaultโ). Iโm sorry for your parents because you sound like a great son. Iโd be proud.
Thank you for the very kind words. I very much appreciate them. But it was a long, long time ago, and by the time I got around to giving up on them, I had realized that my life was actually better without them. Three of their four children more or less were in agreement. The sad part is, both my brothers never really got any of it resolved. The one brother who has remained alive is a total asshole because of it. in fact, he's known as the town asshole in his southern California Beach town. I know this because I came across a newspaper article describing him.
One time DM and we're at a restaurant when a small wedding party arrived. We felt sad for the groom, he was the only white present, meaning either he had no biological family known or he couldnโt invite them to his wedding.
"I just hope the daughter is okay and realizes thereโs nothing wrong with distancing yourself from your parents and embracing people who actually love you instead of making excuses for why they canโt." Is that ever true! I spent my life trying to be the opposite of my dad.
Same. Iโve mentioned my transman son. Never in my worst nightmares would I ever feel this way about my kids. Thereโs no heart in Mr. Anonymous, just a lot of rot.
So after spending 18 years with their own child, they claim not to know her, but having spent precisely 0 seconds hanging out with Jesus, he's more important to them. (I apologize if, by my use of "them", I've inadvertently included the mother if she doesn't happen to share the father's bigotry; but he certainly feels free to speak on her behalf.)
It occurs to me that I could probably write a book on parenting and conditional love. And now my other half just read that over my shoulder, and tells me I'm right. Oy.
Yes, even though I'm cis, my parents' love was always dependent on my at least pretending to be what they wanted. It hurts in ways that are difficult to characterize and hard to deal with, and to some extent, it never really gets much better. My heart breaks for this young woman, her family was taken from her by what amounts to a homewrecker of a church for no good reason at all. Here's hoping she can find more love, acceptance, and respect elsewhere like she deserves, and has the strength to go looking for it.
Failing to accept people for who they are is not by any means love. It's a conditional offer for something that might sometimes look like love, but in reality it's just a cheap knockoff that'll leave scars instead of providing support.
There is no hate quite like Christian love. Some of the most mean-spirited, bigoted, and intollerant people I have ever known never missed church.
๐ท๐ข๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐๐ก๐๐๐, ๐คโ๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ข๐๐๐โ๐ก ๐ข๐ ๐ โ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐ , โ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐ข๐ , โ๐โ๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐โ๐ก ๐๐ข๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐ผ ๐ค๐๐โ๐ก ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐.โ... ๐ผ๐ ๐กโ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ , ๐๐กโ๐ โ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐กโ๐ ๐โ๐๐๐๐ โ๐โ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ โ๐๐๐ โ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ข๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐โ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ฆ.
Being a decent human being to their ๐ค๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฅ is harmful but severe depression and suicidal ideation DUE TO THEIR ACTIONS AND ATTITUDES is not? Jesus H Motherfucking Christ on a cracker, these fucking parents are just a half step short of stoning her to death for disrespect. ๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐ค๐ฃ ๐ง๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐จ๐๐จ ๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ฎ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ๐.
I don't know this poor girl, but I can guarantee I have far more fatherly love for her than her flesh and blood sperm donor.
It's not clear, but it sounds like the poor young lady is still living with her parents. I want to tell her, "Honey, if they're pushing you to the point of considering taking your own life, you've got nothing to lose by walking away, it can't be any worse" I know they're her parents and that makes it very hard, but everyone needs to cut such toxic people out of their life.
Charities for Homeless LGBT youth:
https://www.dallashopecharities.org/programs/dallas-hope-center/ - Dallas Hope Center - Dallas, TX
https://www.thriveyouthcenter.org/ - Thrive Youth Center - San Antonio, TX
http://duneslgbtfoundation.org/ - Dune LGBT Foundation - Ft. Worth, TX
https://www.aliforneycenter.org/ - Ali Forney Center - New York City, NY
https://lalgbtcenter.org/social-service-and-housing/youth/homelessness - LA LGBT Center - Los Angeles, CA
https://www.ruthelliscenter.org/ - Ruth Ellis Center - Detroit, MI
https://larkinstreetyouth.org/ - Larkin Street Youth - San Francisco, CA
https://www.sfcenter.org/lgbt-san-francisco/homeless-lgbtq-youth/ - SF LGBT Center - San Francisco, CA
https://www.outyouth.org/ - Out Youth - Austin, TX
https://www.facebook.com/Thetransitionalcenter/ - The Transitional Support Center - El Paso, TX
https://truecolorsunited.org/ - True Colors United - National Advocacy organization
https://homelessgaykidshouston.org/ - Homeless Gay Kids Houston - Houston, TX
https://www.angelfire.com/folk/isis - ISIS from Youthcare - Seattle, WA
https://le-refuge.org/ - Le refuge - Major metropolitan areas throughout France
Great list. Thanks for sharing.
I keep a list I post when it seems on topic, both in the hope of donations and in case someone reading this post should need their services. It's too Texas-centered truthfully, and I welcome additions.
Thank you for including Le refuge :)
Like I said when you posted it, I added it to the list I keep.
I had run across that one, but it seemed to be religion based which left me concerned about proselytizing and if they were just giving lip service to serving LGBTQ+ youth.
Edit: Still I've added it to the list on your recommendation. If anyone would preemptively curse an organization for such crimes, it would be you.
Cowardly anonymous crister daddy hates his transgender daughter (even though she's a Christian) but claims to love his god?
"If someone says, "I love God," but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?"
-- 1 John 4:20
I love it when atheists are better at bible quoting than believers.
I am truly convinced that these folks have never read the bible, only listen to the person in the pulpit brainwashing them in his/her beliefs.
I used to read my grandma's illustrated bible on her coffee table. I also loved Greek mythology as a kid. I started to realize it was all mythology.
Watching the stunned expressions on the faces of those believers. Priceless!
My goodness this father is useless as a parent. Doesn't listen, constantly rebukes, drives child further and further into depression and does nothing but cry how hard being a parent is when Jesus is on your side.
โHe concludes that this is all in Godโs handsโฆโ
If it is Godโs hands, then why is he fighting his childโs reality. If itโs in Godโs hands, then God made his daughter transgender.
โWe know every parent has to die to self to truly love his or her childโฆโ
Then let your ego die and accept your child as she is. This whole article is an ego trip, โlook at me, Iโm a super good Christian, so good in fact that Iโm willing to torture my children before I show them the true love of a parent.โ I thought you die for your children, I thought youโre supposed to die to yourself to accept Jesus. But I guess thatโs just something you say to get folks to admire you.
Christians taking the heartless option as usual.
Yep - if it's all in "god's hands" how is there any free will? How can you condemn anyone? Idiots.
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sister---yes, even their own life---such a person cannot be my disciple."
-- Luke 14:26
"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."
-- Matthew 10:37
You know who's not worthy, Jesus? You. Even if you were real, which you aren't and never were. You're just not worth all the trouble you and your followers cause in the world.
The previous two verses are just as important and informative:
For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. A manโs enemies will be the members of his own household. - Matthew 10:35-36
This is christian love. This is being christ-like. The more christ-like people are, the worse the world gets.
When we value ideas more than we value people, is it any wonder some people cannot perceive the humanity of others?
Humanity is a burden when heaven is the goal.
And Matthew 10:34 dispels the Christian notion of Jesus as the "Prince of Peace." He said that he did NOT come to bring peace.
It's like Christians don't know what's in their own book.
Definitely. When they do know, they rationalize it in some fashion.
Kind of like how victims rationalize staying in an abusive relationship.
Given the loving, hippie, communist things he supposedly said, either he has a split personality or different people with different agendas put words in his mouth.
Fanfic is supposed to mostly remain true to the original character's character.
There's a term for that, as it turns out.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flanderization
The problem is not Jesus, the Jew. The problem is his followers who have bastardized his words, which by the way, was written and rewritten many times over for Pope's and Kings. Jesus gets a bad rap.
"Jesus gets a bad rap."
He can take it. He doesn't exist. There's no evidence he ever existed. Wish we could say the same for those who subscribe to the religion centered on the fantasy of Jesus. Especially from 380 CE on.
Another example of someone putting ideology over relationships. Transgender, gay, pregnant out of wedlock; lots of kids have been turned out of their homes in the name of ideological virtue. Lots of family members and friends shunned for leaving or marrying out of the one of many one true religions.
Having said that, Iโm hypocritically about ready to shun all relatives who vote for Trump in 2024. But I wouldnโt kick a kid out of my house for doing so.
Probably.
Indeed. In December 1970, during the coldest winter on record in the San Francisco Bay Area, my mother threw me out of the family home. For having been prescribed birth control pills. For a medical condition that she had denied existed for four years. Because her (catholic) priest told her that birth control pills were "evil" and and "girls" who took them were "evil whores." (Direct quotes BTW.) Had I not gotten help, I would have just been another anonymous teenager, frozen to death on the streets of San Francisco. Long story short, my mother was another one of those religious parents who would rather have had a dead kid than a live kid who was no longer part of her cult.
DM's grandmother had her temper but she didn't shun her daughters for having sex (or babies) before being wedded. I don't think she would have shunned a gay kid either.
I would be willing to bet quite a sum of money that the priest advising your mom was busy screwing boys or girls or both. That kind of hatred usually comes from self-hate.
Hmm. I don't know. However, the next parish over--about a mile away--was the diocesan dumping ground for abusive priests. The priests were in the habit of coming into the classrooms at the parochial school there and selecting students to take back to the rectory with them. (This was in the Diocese of Oakland, in California. That diocese declared bankruptcy in May, for the reasons we've all heard. The diocese's founding bishop was named in December of last year as an abuser. He's the guy who confirmed me in the spring of 1964.)
I learned that there were plenty of rogue priests in my home diocese in Pennsylvania too, when its report came out a few years ago. Luckily, I wasn't acquainted with any of them. IT was creepy, though, know that they were there when I was.
Yeah, I was really creeped out to find out in December that that bishop had molested a girl just a few years after he confirmed me. (Everybody seemed to think he was a saint. When I talked back to him at my confirmation, and told him, "NO don't do that to me!" he told me to "shut the fuck up, kid.")
Shunning toxic people may be harsh but it's necessary.
Sometimes it's the only solution.
Hell yes. My husband's biological father is toxic and we shun him. In fact, every single person who have ever had contact with him shuns him. Including his son, brother, late partner's children and their grandchildren and former friends. His last message to me was that I must be suffering from alzheimer. If I am, it is non of his business.
True, but sometimes people are not toxic but just wrong, and we have to suck it up and try and love them anyway.
When your father siblings think shooting his wife* is a fun prank I don't think it's simply them being wrong.
* She was lucky this time, he was drunk enough to miss her.
No, I was just talking about friends and relations who are Trumpists.
๐ด๐๐๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐ฅ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ก๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐๐ .
๐ง๐๐๐ฆ!!!
TBH, I do too. Not forever, but I would have liked Scalia to wake up and realize what an asshole he'd been in life and spend a few decades paying for it.
Several millennia, along with Thomas and Alito.
I save the millennia for Hitler. For Scalia few translates to 8-20.
This guy has it right:
https://youtu.be/HXbIDwLeeEo
Not beer pong man and ofdrumpster ?
They are absolutely giddy about the thought of us infidels burning for eternity.
I don't know how you can call religion a good thing when it tells you to hate your own children rather than defy Jesus.
Bad Religion. Not just a rock group.
I think even Jesus would be appalled by this man
Oh, my. There is so much here.
' He loves his trans daughter, he writes, adding that he loves Jesus more. Which is a not-so-subtle way of saying he doesnโt actually love his trans daughter unconditionally." I don't know if I would put it that way. I would say that he loves his daughter as much as he can, but he doesn't love her very much. I recognize the syndrome, because that's what I went through with my parents more than 50 years ago when I came out as gay. It took a while to realize it, but eventually I understood. They loved me as much as they were capable of loving me. They just didn't love me very much. As I said to them in a letter when I was finally at the point of just giving up on them: "it's clear to me that your beliefs about homosexuality and what it means to be gay are more important to you than truth, compassion, and fairness, and certainly, more important to you than your relationship relationship with your son ."
And there is so much more in this.
He's chosen the use of pronouns as the hill he wants his daughter to die on. I spend a lot of time over at quora, and the pronoun issue looms pretty big there. How dare you force me to use pronouns that I don't wish to use? Of course, it's just their persecution complex going into overdrive, powering the right wing outrage machine. If he is talking to his daughter, what pronoun is he going to use besides "you ". His daughter is asking for some respect, not for him to abandon integrity, and honesty.
But he already did that, didn't he? He did it the moment he decided he would be persecuted for his beliefs, rather than trying to understand his daughter. It's very common over a Quora. They're not interested in understanding, they're interested in being outraged, being right, and aboveall, being culture warriors-- more importantly, being culture warriors for God, culture warriors on the winning side.
He gives it all away right here: "He concludes that this is all in Godโs handsโฆ which is another way of saying he doesnโt plan to change anything about his own thoughts or actions...Does god care?" Can we translate from the Jesus?
God has a wonderful plan. Why isn't God doing what I tell him to do? Why can't I be bothered to understand God's wonderful plan? It's not fair to me. ME! ME ! ME! His whole belief system is under assault, and his response is to circle his wagon. There is no responsibility for him. He says over and over and over again how much he raised his daughter to be a good Christian robot. And yet here she is, telling him what he doesn't want to hear. He has failed as a parent. His religion has failed Him and her. Surely, he wants to trust God, but he doesn't trust that God has a wonderful plan for everyone. It's not the plan he would have chosen, and he simply does not understand why God will not do what he is told.
This affects me because this is what I went through 50 years ago. My parents didn't use God as their excuse. If they had, it probably would have made it easier for me. I tried for 12 years to get through to them but nothing did. I was a good son. I never got into any trouble. I was a straight a student, an athlete, a recognized musician and writer. I was well liked by my friends and teachers. But none of that made any difference.
Likewise, for this father, his belief systems are under assault, primarily by himself โ he just prefers to blame his daughter. He will not admit that he has failed her, or that is intellect and his belief system and all of his JesusIng have failed himself.
And isn't that just too sad?
*Virtual Dogesses hug* https://ibb.co/Sr5nqVw
Awwww, thanks.
I have several friends that went through what you did and it just blows. I stood up for my friend at her civil union (no marriage allowed back then) because no family there, they just couldnโt cope (and somehow they thought it was my โfaultโ). Iโm sorry for your parents because you sound like a great son. Iโd be proud.
Thank you for the very kind words. I very much appreciate them. But it was a long, long time ago, and by the time I got around to giving up on them, I had realized that my life was actually better without them. Three of their four children more or less were in agreement. The sad part is, both my brothers never really got any of it resolved. The one brother who has remained alive is a total asshole because of it. in fact, he's known as the town asshole in his southern California Beach town. I know this because I came across a newspaper article describing him.
One time DM and we're at a restaurant when a small wedding party arrived. We felt sad for the groom, he was the only white present, meaning either he had no biological family known or he couldnโt invite them to his wedding.
"I just hope the daughter is okay and realizes thereโs nothing wrong with distancing yourself from your parents and embracing people who actually love you instead of making excuses for why they canโt." Is that ever true! I spent my life trying to be the opposite of my dad.
One of my kids is trans. I cannot imagine making the choice this failure of a parent has made.
Same. Iโve mentioned my transman son. Never in my worst nightmares would I ever feel this way about my kids. Thereโs no heart in Mr. Anonymous, just a lot of rot.
So after spending 18 years with their own child, they claim not to know her, but having spent precisely 0 seconds hanging out with Jesus, he's more important to them. (I apologize if, by my use of "them", I've inadvertently included the mother if she doesn't happen to share the father's bigotry; but he certainly feels free to speak on her behalf.)
"He concludes that this is all in Godโs handsโฆ" so he should accept it as God's will and move on.
The man is a heretic. Jesus sent his daughter in a male body only to test him. And he failed.
Or not. Maybe he's just an asshole. Or probably even more likely - the entire article is fiction. And he's an asshole.
It occurs to me that I could probably write a book on parenting and conditional love. And now my other half just read that over my shoulder, and tells me I'm right. Oy.
Yes, even though I'm cis, my parents' love was always dependent on my at least pretending to be what they wanted. It hurts in ways that are difficult to characterize and hard to deal with, and to some extent, it never really gets much better. My heart breaks for this young woman, her family was taken from her by what amounts to a homewrecker of a church for no good reason at all. Here's hoping she can find more love, acceptance, and respect elsewhere like she deserves, and has the strength to go looking for it.
Failing to accept people for who they are is not by any means love. It's a conditional offer for something that might sometimes look like love, but in reality it's just a cheap knockoff that'll leave scars instead of providing support.