There is no hate quite like Christian love. Some of the most mean-spirited, bigoted, and intollerant people I have ever known never missed church.

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Nov 25, 2023ยทedited Nov 25, 2023

๐ท๐‘ข๐‘Ÿ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘’ ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘ฃ๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘ ๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘œ๐‘›, ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘› ๐‘ค๐‘’ ๐‘ ๐‘Ž๐‘–๐‘‘ ๐‘ค๐‘’ ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘™๐‘‘๐‘›โ€™๐‘ก ๐‘ข๐‘ ๐‘’ โ„Ž๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘“๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘‘ ๐‘›๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘›๐‘ , โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘ ๐‘Ž๐‘–๐‘‘ ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘ข๐‘ , โ€œ๐‘‡โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘› ๐ผ ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘›โ€™๐‘ก ๐‘”๐‘ข๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘’ ๐ผ ๐‘ค๐‘œ๐‘›โ€™๐‘ก ๐‘˜๐‘–๐‘™๐‘™ ๐‘š๐‘ฆ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘™๐‘“.โ€... ๐ผ๐‘› ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ ๐‘’ ๐‘š๐‘œ๐‘š๐‘’๐‘›๐‘ก๐‘ , ๐‘–๐‘กโ€™๐‘  โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘‘ ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘š๐‘’๐‘š๐‘๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘”๐‘’ โ„Ž๐‘’โ€™๐‘  ๐‘Ž๐‘ ๐‘˜๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘“๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ ๐‘ค๐‘–๐‘™๐‘™ โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘š โ„Ž๐‘–๐‘š ๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ก ๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐‘ ๐‘๐‘–๐‘Ÿ๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘ข๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐‘๐‘ข๐‘ก ๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘ ๐‘œ ๐‘š๐‘’๐‘›๐‘ก๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘โ„Ž๐‘ฆ๐‘ ๐‘–๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘™๐‘ฆ.

Being a decent human being to their ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ is harmful but severe depression and suicidal ideation DUE TO THEIR ACTIONS AND ATTITUDES is not? Jesus H Motherfucking Christ on a cracker, these fucking parents are just a half step short of stoning her to death for disrespect. ๐™๐™š๐™ก๐™ž๐™œ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™ง๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™จ๐™š๐™จ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ.

I don't know this poor girl, but I can guarantee I have far more fatherly love for her than her flesh and blood sperm donor.

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Nov 25, 2023ยทedited Nov 25, 2023

It's not clear, but it sounds like the poor young lady is still living with her parents. I want to tell her, "Honey, if they're pushing you to the point of considering taking your own life, you've got nothing to lose by walking away, it can't be any worse" I know they're her parents and that makes it very hard, but everyone needs to cut such toxic people out of their life.

Charities for Homeless LGBT youth:

https://www.dallashopecharities.org/programs/dallas-hope-center/ - Dallas Hope Center - Dallas, TX

https://www.thriveyouthcenter.org/ - Thrive Youth Center - San Antonio, TX

http://duneslgbtfoundation.org/ - Dune LGBT Foundation - Ft. Worth, TX

https://www.aliforneycenter.org/ - Ali Forney Center - New York City, NY

https://lalgbtcenter.org/social-service-and-housing/youth/homelessness - LA LGBT Center - Los Angeles, CA

https://www.ruthelliscenter.org/ - Ruth Ellis Center - Detroit, MI

https://larkinstreetyouth.org/ - Larkin Street Youth - San Francisco, CA

https://www.sfcenter.org/lgbt-san-francisco/homeless-lgbtq-youth/ - SF LGBT Center - San Francisco, CA

https://www.outyouth.org/ - Out Youth - Austin, TX

https://www.facebook.com/Thetransitionalcenter/ - The Transitional Support Center - El Paso, TX

https://truecolorsunited.org/ - True Colors United - National Advocacy organization

https://homelessgaykidshouston.org/ - Homeless Gay Kids Houston - Houston, TX

https://www.angelfire.com/folk/isis - ISIS from Youthcare - Seattle, WA

https://le-refuge.org/ - Le refuge - Major metropolitan areas throughout France

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Nov 25, 2023ยทedited Nov 25, 2023

Cowardly anonymous crister daddy hates his transgender daughter (even though she's a Christian) but claims to love his god?

"If someone says, "I love God," but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?"

-- 1 John 4:20

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My goodness this father is useless as a parent. Doesn't listen, constantly rebukes, drives child further and further into depression and does nothing but cry how hard being a parent is when Jesus is on your side.

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โ€œHe concludes that this is all in Godโ€™s handsโ€ฆโ€œ

If it is Godโ€™s hands, then why is he fighting his childโ€™s reality. If itโ€™s in Godโ€™s hands, then God made his daughter transgender.

โ€œWe know every parent has to die to self to truly love his or her childโ€ฆโ€œ

Then let your ego die and accept your child as she is. This whole article is an ego trip, โ€œlook at me, Iโ€™m a super good Christian, so good in fact that Iโ€™m willing to torture my children before I show them the true love of a parent.โ€ I thought you die for your children, I thought youโ€™re supposed to die to yourself to accept Jesus. But I guess thatโ€™s just something you say to get folks to admire you.

Christians taking the heartless option as usual.

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Nov 25, 2023ยทedited Nov 25, 2023

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sister---yes, even their own life---such a person cannot be my disciple."

-- Luke 14:26

"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

-- Matthew 10:37

You know who's not worthy, Jesus? You. Even if you were real, which you aren't and never were. You're just not worth all the trouble you and your followers cause in the world.

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Another example of someone putting ideology over relationships. Transgender, gay, pregnant out of wedlock; lots of kids have been turned out of their homes in the name of ideological virtue. Lots of family members and friends shunned for leaving or marrying out of the one of many one true religions.

Having said that, Iโ€™m hypocritically about ready to shun all relatives who vote for Trump in 2024. But I wouldnโ€™t kick a kid out of my house for doing so.


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I don't know how you can call religion a good thing when it tells you to hate your own children rather than defy Jesus.

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Nov 25, 2023ยทedited Nov 25, 2023

Oh, my. There is so much here.

' He loves his trans daughter, he writes, adding that he loves Jesus more. Which is a not-so-subtle way of saying he doesnโ€™t actually love his trans daughter unconditionally." I don't know if I would put it that way. I would say that he loves his daughter as much as he can, but he doesn't love her very much. I recognize the syndrome, because that's what I went through with my parents more than 50 years ago when I came out as gay. It took a while to realize it, but eventually I understood. They loved me as much as they were capable of loving me. They just didn't love me very much. As I said to them in a letter when I was finally at the point of just giving up on them: "it's clear to me that your beliefs about homosexuality and what it means to be gay are more important to you than truth, compassion, and fairness, and certainly, more important to you than your relationship relationship with your son ."

And there is so much more in this.

He's chosen the use of pronouns as the hill he wants his daughter to die on. I spend a lot of time over at quora, and the pronoun issue looms pretty big there. How dare you force me to use pronouns that I don't wish to use? Of course, it's just their persecution complex going into overdrive, powering the right wing outrage machine. If he is talking to his daughter, what pronoun is he going to use besides "you ". His daughter is asking for some respect, not for him to abandon integrity, and honesty.

But he already did that, didn't he? He did it the moment he decided he would be persecuted for his beliefs, rather than trying to understand his daughter. It's very common over a Quora. They're not interested in understanding, they're interested in being outraged, being right, and aboveall, being culture warriors-- more importantly, being culture warriors for God, culture warriors on the winning side.

He gives it all away right here: "He concludes that this is all in Godโ€™s handsโ€ฆ which is another way of saying he doesnโ€™t plan to change anything about his own thoughts or actions...Does god care?" Can we translate from the Jesus?

God has a wonderful plan. Why isn't God doing what I tell him to do? Why can't I be bothered to understand God's wonderful plan? It's not fair to me. ME! ME ! ME! His whole belief system is under assault, and his response is to circle his wagon. There is no responsibility for him. He says over and over and over again how much he raised his daughter to be a good Christian robot. And yet here she is, telling him what he doesn't want to hear. He has failed as a parent. His religion has failed Him and her. Surely, he wants to trust God, but he doesn't trust that God has a wonderful plan for everyone. It's not the plan he would have chosen, and he simply does not understand why God will not do what he is told.

This affects me because this is what I went through 50 years ago. My parents didn't use God as their excuse. If they had, it probably would have made it easier for me. I tried for 12 years to get through to them but nothing did. I was a good son. I never got into any trouble. I was a straight a student, an athlete, a recognized musician and writer. I was well liked by my friends and teachers. But none of that made any difference.

Likewise, for this father, his belief systems are under assault, primarily by himself โ€” he just prefers to blame his daughter. He will not admit that he has failed her, or that is intellect and his belief system and all of his JesusIng have failed himself.

And isn't that just too sad?

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"I just hope the daughter is okay and realizes thereโ€™s nothing wrong with distancing yourself from your parents and embracing people who actually love you instead of making excuses for why they canโ€™t." Is that ever true! I spent my life trying to be the opposite of my dad.

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One of my kids is trans. I cannot imagine making the choice this failure of a parent has made.

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So after spending 18 years with their own child, they claim not to know her, but having spent precisely 0 seconds hanging out with Jesus, he's more important to them. (I apologize if, by my use of "them", I've inadvertently included the mother if she doesn't happen to share the father's bigotry; but he certainly feels free to speak on her behalf.)

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"He concludes that this is all in Godโ€™s handsโ€ฆ" so he should accept it as God's will and move on.

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The man is a heretic. Jesus sent his daughter in a male body only to test him. And he failed.

Or not. Maybe he's just an asshole. Or probably even more likely - the entire article is fiction. And he's an asshole.

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It occurs to me that I could probably write a book on parenting and conditional love. And now my other half just read that over my shoulder, and tells me I'm right. Oy.

Yes, even though I'm cis, my parents' love was always dependent on my at least pretending to be what they wanted. It hurts in ways that are difficult to characterize and hard to deal with, and to some extent, it never really gets much better. My heart breaks for this young woman, her family was taken from her by what amounts to a homewrecker of a church for no good reason at all. Here's hoping she can find more love, acceptance, and respect elsewhere like she deserves, and has the strength to go looking for it.

Failing to accept people for who they are is not by any means love. It's a conditional offer for something that might sometimes look like love, but in reality it's just a cheap knockoff that'll leave scars instead of providing support.

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