67 Comments

"They’re experts at finding new ways to push people out of the faith."

All while crying about the rapid decline in membership. Then doubling down thinking the reason is they aren't J̵e̵s̵u̵s̵i̵n̵g̵ bigoting 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩.

Expand full comment
Feb 22, 2023·edited Feb 22, 2023

He Gets Us!

Well not 𝑦𝑜𝑢, demon Jezebel whore daughter of Eve.

Expand full comment

These days, Jesus doesn't get YOU so much as he gets your wallet!

Expand full comment

He doesn't even get that much. The megachurch pastor holds onto it for him.

Expand full comment

I say we make it into a response meme, like 'laser-like focus on the economy' was for a while. Every time conservative Christians do some obviously discriminatory thing...He Gets Us!

Expand full comment

Brilliant!

Expand full comment

You don’t see the asterisk in those ads? It’s huge and it says “ *some exclusions apply”

Women, LGBT people, people of color, disabled people, anyone who seems out of the norm, it’s just really easier to say only straight, white men apply but then they can’t say “all of us” then can they.

Expand full comment

Here we go again. Variations on a theme of 1 Timothy 2:11-12 and 1 Corinthians 14:34-35, where men are the bosses and women are the next best thing to non-persons. Pure misogyny, embodied in the Southern Baptist Convention.

And very likely one more reason why people are becoming disenchanted with religion.

Expand full comment

But, "It's my only line!"

Expand full comment

𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦.

-- George W. Foote

Expand full comment

Schism.

Western Baptist Convention?

Expand full comment

Splitters!

Expand full comment

1 Timothy 2:12

"Sit down and shut up, chattel."

Expand full comment

No, go make me a sammich first!

Expand full comment

"They're experts at finding new ways to push people out of the faith."

You say that like it's a bad thing. Remember the words of Napoleon...

"Never interrupt an enemy when he is making a mistake."

Expand full comment

But they are not our enemy. They LOVE us. A whole big bunch. Honest they do. Oh, by the way, are you interested in a good deal on a bridge across he East River?

Expand full comment

No, but I do have ocean front property in Iowa that I can let you have real cheap.

Expand full comment
Feb 22, 2023·edited Feb 22, 2023

I think he also said it at Waterloo though. 😁

Expand full comment

I've lived in or around Waterloo for 50+ years. I don't think Napoleon has ever been here.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waterloo,_Iowa

Expand full comment

So Iowans actually do have water in their loos, then? None o' those lil sheds out back?

Expand full comment

With all these Waterloo posts, I've got that ABBA tune playing on repeat in my head.

Expand full comment

I also live near Waterloo. We also have a Waterloo station.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waterloo,_New_Zealand

But it's hardly surprising, given the number of places actually named Waterloo that I discovered when I was doing an assignment on the battle once. 😁

Expand full comment

My Waterloo is a little bigger than your Waterloo. Population of 67,314 vs. 5'730.

We have more water (4.76 km squared) than you have land (1.84 km squared).

: )

Expand full comment

Perfectly consonant with a general who won most battles on the defensive, against mediocre generals.

The Germans actually won the battle by retreating properly after Napoleon wacked them at Ligny, just days before, so's the German remnants could be the decisive factor at Waterloo.

Expand full comment

Interesting idea. I warn you – once I get going – my bibliography was two pages long.

Expand full comment

Assuming members of the Convention scoot money to that parent organization, kicking out one of their biggest assemblies seems kind of self destructive, given that congregations nationwide are dwindling.

Satan is pleased. We hellions are laughing as we hoist a cold mug of Hellfire craft beer!

Expand full comment

Your saying that to The Sheeple of a religion that involves the VOLUNTARY tortuous 'death' of their god.

'Self-destructive' is a feature ...

Expand full comment

I think I finally understand Christianity. It has been remarked on that the god of the old testament was a genocidal butcher. Then, in the new testament he comes down among his creations in a meat body and does his level best for 3 years to get them to murder him in a horrific manner so that he can forgive them for making him angry. I think he was really angry because they weren't being as viciously homicidal as he wanted and as soon as they showed they could be as disgustingly evil as his is, he was happy with them again. At least that would explain why being devoutly Christian is so similar to being a complete sociopath.

Expand full comment

You seem quite good to understand christian illogical tales.

Expand full comment

Religion; where women are worse than pedophiles, abusers and those who steal.

Also LGBT people are even worse than women.

Expand full comment

That should read "women are worse than LAY pedophiles." If the pedos are wearing clerical collars, all bets are off and everything is just fine and dandy..

Expand full comment

Everything is just fine and dandy for even the lay men. They protect all white men, over women. They always have.

Expand full comment

Well, I gotta admire their commitment to being awful... 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑡𝑒. No I don't. They're awful.

Expand full comment
Feb 22, 2023·edited Feb 22, 2023

Just a bunch of pinheads dancing on the spine of a Bible ..., and trying to shove everybody else off ...

Expand full comment

The southern baptist convention can as well throw the towel and join either the catholic* or the orthodox** church.

* Celibate but you can have sex discretly thanks to the power of confession.

** Can become a priest if married but not the reverse, see *.

Expand full comment

What about Anglicans? Married priests, don't have to believe in god. 😁

Expand full comment

"Anglicans?" - People that fish?

Expand full comment

You smelt me with your comment 🤔

Expand full comment

Not very sofishticated. 😁

Expand full comment

It's barbel worth a laugh.

Expand full comment

Perch-ance?

Expand full comment

Quick, call a sturgeon!

Expand full comment

Luring us all into another pun thread?

Expand full comment

Cod damn it! I hope net!

Expand full comment

Basslighting!

Expand full comment

Don't take the bait!

Expand full comment

Too late. Looks like we've been reeled in.

Expand full comment

Trust Larry to make this thread flounder.

Expand full comment

Holy mackerel!

Expand full comment

The Cof E couldn't function in the UK without its sizeable cohort of female priests. My daughter is one. She's been subjected to misogyny but generally it's accepted that the church needs them and they have gifts and talents for the job. My last vicar was in the first batch of ordinands in the Church in Wales in 1994. Back then, the head honchos declared that women's roles in society had changed and they were getting up to date on equal rights by allowing the ordination of women! Not said out loud so often, was the belief that by moving with the times, by being modern and trendy - even ever so slightly feminist - heathens and lapsed parishoners would come back to the fold.....that never happened of course.

Expand full comment

The catholic church in France import priests from other countries, they have to take care of several parishes, especially in rural areas, yet talking about ordination of women is a big no.

Expand full comment

Well, most folks are working with the adage “when someone tells you who they are, believe them”. The church was clearly misogynistic and adding token females to the mix isn’t the move to change them. The fundamentals of the church are still quite exclusive towards many types of folks, especially women. They’d have to change the foundation of the religion to prove them not misogynistic.

Expand full comment

"But Southern Baptists aren’t known for taking the rational approach. "

I hereby nominate Hemant for the understatement of the decade. If not the century. Or maybe even the millennium.

Expand full comment

OT: Another (presumably) pro-life conservative has inadvertently exposed himself as the disgustingly anti-human fiend he is. https://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/2023/02/watch-alaska-gop-lawmaker-says-its-a-benefit-to-society-when-child-abuse-is-fatal-because-theres-a-cost-savings/

Expand full comment
Feb 22, 2023·edited Feb 22, 2023

Jesus Christ, he looks like a serial killer. It's all in the eyes.

Expand full comment

I picture him a Texas tower with a high-powered rifle.

Expand full comment

Don't tell me, let me guess...

This assclown is "pro-life." He sounds like Scrooge before the 3 visitors.

Expand full comment
founding

Slightly OT: The girlfriend and I saw Tedeschi Trucks Band last night (Derek Trucks, son of Allman Brothers drummer Butch Trucks is lead guitar. ) We were pleasantly surprised to see an opening act, which was the Amy Ray Band. Amy Ray also happens to be 1/2 of the Indigo Girls. I couldn't really pin down her "spirituality" from the mix of songs played. But she did make a point of telling a story before she played her song "You Can't Beat That Deal", which I think many of you would quite enjoy! I know she is on Pandora.

Expand full comment
Feb 22, 2023·edited Feb 22, 2023

TheoLOLogical Cachu Hwch in the most all-encompassing way.

More Christinainty being thrown against the wall to see what sticks, and who will applaud the spatter and will pay for the right to 'Call It Macaroni'.

"Doesn't anybody SCREEN THESE CALLS?!"

Expand full comment
founding

Splitting, and splitting, and splitting...

By far the most subdivided religion in the world, with so many thousands of denominations, branches, and subsects that the number is different every time I Google it, Christianity just can't seem to get along with itself. It's like a liquid that becomes less and less viscous, spreading out thinner and thinner, covering a larger area but actually losing its volume to evaporation.

Here's to Finally Dry Day.

Expand full comment