515 Comments

What does this say about their faith? Jesus knew that this was going to happen, and the omniscient, omnipotent, and infinite creator of the entire infinite universe is powerless to do anything about it. Therefore, people are going to burn in hell, which Jesus knew also. Apparently, he's not a nice man .

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Well, y'see, mysterious ways, free will, beyond time, mumble mumble, humanity must learn, fallen world, dither dither, not ready for the full message, demonstrating faith, mutter mutter, not understanding the real intent, atheists suck, all very philosophical, I've made it completely clear if you still don't understand it's on you.

So there.

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But, but....

Drag queens! Save the family! Complementarianism! Soshulizm! God loves you!

GOTCHA!

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If drag queens could turn people gay, Ryan would not be married to a woman.

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I'm pretty sure I could turn him gay, and even if I couldn't, it would be worth trying

Once

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Don't you need a six-pack of beer first?

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No, because my Ryan knows what he wants.

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OT god killed them and left them dead. It took jesus to bring eternal punishment for imaginary sins.

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Let's be fair, Jesus did no such thing. You forget, as many do, Jesus was a Jew, he wasn't a "Christian". Christianity came way after his death and all the big churches and their rituals. This kind of nonsense was one of the things Jesus, the Rabbi was trying to change in Judaism.

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The concept of eternal damnation/suffering didn't originate in the Old Testament. It starts in the New Testament with Jesus. Here's just one bit...

"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels."

-- Matthew 25:41

Jesus condemning people to eternal damnation/punishment. And these were people who called themselves his followers but didn't do anything to help others.

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Ah, but the conundrum is that EACH religion thinks they are the only ones going to heaven, paradise, whatever planet and EVERYONE ELSE is going to hell. So, when you think about it, everyone IS going to hell. And I am driving the bus!! We will have margaritas!

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Poor xtians think they'll be the ones in heaven. They haven't read Revelation. The only humans who get to be in heaven are 144,000 virgin Jewish males from the 12 tribes of Israel.

Oopsie!

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so, no margaritas? well crap.

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Jesus hasn’t done or said anything to correct the record.

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Jesus hasn't done or said anything. Ever. :)

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He did too!

SEND MONEY!!!!!

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I thought that was his representatives on Earth.

You know: the ones with private jets and McMansions.

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Christians have told me that jesus is co-eternal with god. You can't argue it both ways. I wouldrather use their own claims againsttheir own claims.

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Just like L. Ron Hubbard wasn't a Scientologist, lol!

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Simply confess your sins, and Jesus will...do nothing.

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Now be fair. It is a known fact that Jesus will forgive you and forgive you and forgive you and forgive you, no matter what you do, no matter how often you do it. That's why he's known as our lord of the sock puppets.

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Cafeteria Christians probably won’t care. And they’re all cafeteria Christians.

It’s not like anyone’s gonna be able to locate the actual wine Jesus claimed was his blood, so all wines are invalid.

But then I’m a Catholic heretic who wasn’t brainwashed enough to buy into the whole charade. What do I know?

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"What do I know?"

Enough to know you needed to make a run for it, clearly. ;)

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I have always compared Catholics to prop comedians.

If the props are more important than the belief, y'all have some serious issues.

People KNOW they are pretending the wine and crackers aren't really blood and body (ick) so let the Pope wave his magic wand, grandfather all that stuff in and start again.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, raping children didn't get this much attention.

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Sodomy is taking a man's privates in your mouth" Or are jeezy's genitalia removed before communion?

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Jun 15, 2023·edited Jun 15, 2023

you put the cart before the horse manure. An even more important question is, what happens after I swallow. When you think about it, HOLY SHIT!

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Prop comedians like that rightwing psycho Gallagher who finally stopped breathing last year?

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My paternal uncle was a Catholic priest¹, and his church wine of choice was muscatel, either Carlo Rossi (which some call Carlo Raunchy), Gallo or even Mogen David. Based on this article, I'm fairly sure that his choice of wine was also “wrong”. Oh, well, he consumed a lot more of it outside of mass than during mass.

¹ He was one of the reasons I chose to become an ex=Catholic.

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So they used the wrong wine? Whoop-whoop. Now they want to whine about wine, eh? This after nixing gluten-free wafers, too. Guys (and they are ALL guys, of course), do you think you're putting your attention on the wrong things? Do you think that maybe more focus should go to your people who are molesting kids, and others of you who shuffle those offenders around so that they don't get caught? Seems to me that'd be far more important than stressing about whether to serve MD 20/20 or Thunderbird with your cracker.

Oh, but THIS wine is supposed to be SACRED (whatever that means). Okay, sure. I'll stick with Glenlivet.

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This made me think of the meme of the newspaper article about the SBC going after all their churches that have a female pastor while the caption says the SBC has a secret list of over so many hundred child molesting pastors and this is what they choose to focus on.

What this is, is an attempt to deflect from another investigation resulting in a damning report for the church. Why anyone puts their trust for anything in the RCC (any church for that matter) is beyond me. They prove daily they can’t say the right things, use the right items, hold the right morality, or protect a single person. Oh noes! The wine is wrong, focus on this because it is directly related to your soul and ignore the issues that isn’t happening to you.

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Until it happens to you. Then you know your son was specially chosen for holy insemination.

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So the omnipotent God of the universe can be thwarted by buying the wrong sort of wine?

Puny god.

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I'm reminded of those rituals that were supposed to make warriors bullet proof. If'n you died you must've got it wrong. 😁

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Like in China at the end of 19th century ?

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The Boxer Rebellion/Uprising? Yeah, they thought their martial art skills made them immune to ammunition. They quickly discovered that was a mistaken belief.

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Yep. I couldn't remember the name. Encore une victoire de NOGODZPEDIA 😁

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Jun 15, 2023·edited Jun 15, 2023

Was easy. :)

They even made a movie about it back in 1963 called "55 Days at Peking."

(I saw it when I was 11)

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I read about it in a book about Cixi (the last empress dowager of China).

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With Big Chuck Heston, IIRC. Was his character gay in that one, too?

Ever see the first Fu Manchu movie? 1929, starring Warner Oland as Fu, with O.P. Heggie (the blind hermit in Bride of Frankenstein) as Nayland Smith and Neil Hamilton (Commissioner Gordon on Batman) as the dashing young hero. The movie has Fu as a kindly scientist who goes mad because his wife and son were accidentally killed by Western soldiers in the Boxer Rebellion. Weird old movie, fascinating if only for its cast.

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The Spartan rite of passage was usually to kill a helot. But, he had to be stealthy about it. If he got caught doing it, it brought shame.

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The Spartan ritual for ensuring fertile fields was even weirder. I'll spare you the details.

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It wasn't kosher, sometimes even God has trouble knowing the difference.

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Officer, it was an honest mistake. I thought I was using a Merlot for the absolution of sins. I know most people have a negative a opinion about Merlots, but it's not deserved. But I digress. So here I am thinking that I am using Merlot, to represent and eventually turn into Jesus's blood. But it turns out, and this is kind of funny, I made a mistake. At first, I thought I had used wine made from genetically modified grapes. Which would have totally invalidated the rites of forgiveness. But luckily, I realized that what I used was pure natural,... pure, natural black tar heroin. There was nothing genetically altered with those poppies. So it was a little bit of a oops... but it all worked out in the end. And the eucharist, what some people disrespectfully call a Jesus cracker, was actually crack. It turns out that the blood and body of Christ can really mess you up. But officer it was an honest mistake. And I know that I am absolved of my sins, because I lit up another 2 ounces of the body of Christ.

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You will get stoned for this.

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Everybody must.

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I would not be so all alone.

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So, drink the “wrong “ wine and I also get stoned? Where do I sign up?! Oh… never mind. 😏

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Huzzah! Holytape!

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founding

For years the wine was a dud, and so the rites that used it were all duds, which produced dud Catholics and even dud priests, who performed dud rites including dud confessions, dud eucharists, and dud baptisms, and countless more dud Catholics, and the dudness has silently spread across the entire Catholic World Empire...

If the magic wasn't working for several years in several Catholic churches, but it WAS working in Catholic churches elsewhere, why didn't anybody notice any difference in the living experiences of the congregations with and without the magic? Is the ONLY difference of effect noticeable when dud Catholics wake up in hell rather than heaven? There's no discernible difference between magic and non-magic here on Earth?

Cue competitor's commercial: "Protestantism lets you customize your religion so you only pray for what you need."

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And they offer many convenient payment plans for your pastor's next Learjet!

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You may have found the reason catholics deconvert /s

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As a child I had questions the priests had no answers for. I threw off the religion before reaching double digits, age-wise.

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Those dudes were duds?

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It's duds all the way down.

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Now let's be reasonable folks. This is a serious issue for the church, not something minor like priests raping minors. Good thing they can devote their full attention to remedying this crisis.

https://rapevictimsofthecatholicchurch.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/bill-donohue.jpg?w=584

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The previous bishop of Kansas City, Robert Finn, actually went to the slammer for protecting priestly child-rapists. He really must have been drunk on non-approved wine. There's just no other possible explanation for such un-Catholic behavior, is there?

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Did he actually spent time there or was he released under a dubious pretext ?

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Well now we know. All those pedo priests went around raping children must have drunk the wrong wine. If only they had drunk 100% pure Welch's Communion Wine made from 100% pure Catholic grapes they would have remained faithful to their vow of celibacy, and all those children would be happy, undamaged and unmolested.. Yeah, that must be it.

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I blame Pride celebrations, abortion and wokeness. Libruls made them do it.

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it could not have anything to do with the repressive things we teach about sex.

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RCC clergy teach that repression of sex to children yet never repress their own sexual desires for those children.

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Well they're halfway virtuous, then, right? Shouldn't we give them credit for that?

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If the teaching didn't take for the clergy, then the clergy can't possibly hope to repress the sexual identities of the RCCs children.

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incels?

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sadly far to many are actively practicing on kids.

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The Wokeness Monster.

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society really started to crumble when we stop using white or dark meat to describe what part chicken we wanted.

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Jun 15, 2023·edited Jun 15, 2023

With Silkies it's all dark meat....and skin, and bones.

(Their earlobes are blue, FYI.)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silkie

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those chicken are abomination to god and a decent society.

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They're more expensive than regular chickens....many Asian markets carry them, alleged aphrodisiac or some such.

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Chickens have ears?

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Yep, they sure do. 🙂

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Those just get put into the hot dog with the rest of the odds and ends?

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Chineses seem to love blue, sharpeis and chow chows have blue tongues.

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Question. Didn't we saw the same story about the wrong words said during baptisms a few months ago ?

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Jun 15, 2023·edited Jun 15, 2023

Yes, you didn't read the article, did you. It was mentioned. : )

Eta: Sorry to hear about DM.

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Ain't nobody got time for that!

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I just came home, I slept 3 hours last night and didn't ate* since yesterday evening because I had a splitting headache this morning, so I had other priorities like reading your comments to have my first smile(s) of the day 😝

(et accessoirement essayer de manger quelque chose, emphase sur essayer)

* French hospitals shops are not exactly vegan friendly.

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What's wrong with DM? Need we be worried?

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No se. They didn't tell me anything.

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Any deity that is that much of a stickler for the rules in light of an honest mistake or the mistaken trust placed in others is evil.

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A finite amount of sin for an infinite hell. The math doesn't add up. And wouldn't rehabilitation been better than torture?

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I'm honestly wondering who profited both from the 'mistake' with the wine, and now the 'correction' of said 'mistake'. This really seems like the sort of thing someone would do just to make a little cash on the side.

One would think that if the wine had such a profound impact on the Eucharist, the priest performing the ceremony would have noticed to something at the time. The fact he didn't probably says all we need to know about these 'rules' regarding communion wine the RCC has.

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You'd also think Jesus could turn elderberry wine into his blood same way he turns grape wine. Guess he's not quite as all-powerful as the church claims, eh?

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Elderberry has a high iron content maybe?

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Iron's his dad's Kryptonite. Jesus failed at getting figs out of a fig tree when figs weren't in season.

He could raise the dead but a fig tree gave him the middle finger.

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Thanatos trembled before his might

Fig tree don't give a fuck.

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Fig trees don't grow fucks, so they never have any to give. Jesus already lost the moment his dad created them.

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Can imagine YHVH in heaven looking down on his son and snickering as Jesus tries desperately to get figs from that tree.

YHVH: "Psyche!"

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I love the social irony of devout Christians suddenly giving a damn about pronouns during their cannabalistic rituals.

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• Catholics magic wine

• Mormons magic underwear and secret handshakes

• Charismatics magic of speaking in tongues and divine healing

• Pentecostals magic of water baptism

• Muslims magic of gaining paradise and 72 virgins for martyrdom.

• Christian Scientists shun medicine because they believe prayer is more effective.

• Jehovah's Witnesses denial of blood transfusions to save a life.

• Scientology weird Xenu beliefs about ruling some ancient galactic confederacy like Darth Sidious.

How about scrap this magical nonsense and work on good character instead with an eye towards self improvement. I think that would be better. Belief in demons or angels doesn't make you moral.

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Snakes ... don't forget snakes.

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I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!

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Fucking christ, they're taking this shit more seriously than their pedophile infestation.

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Jun 15, 2023·edited Jun 15, 2023

Priorities, man. Priorities.

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Well, duh. They’re looking to shift the focus.

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Ritual is important. Children are not. (Neither are women in most contexts)

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It's obviously a plot by the Biden administration to distract from his China collusion.

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Butter emails.

(Also Hunter's laptop, Obama Kenyan Muslim, etc.)

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But....but....Hillary's emails.

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