Ah yes, the King James Version- for when you really need more lovely purple prose to dress up a book full of rape and genocide.

I'd call it lipstick on a pig, but let's face it- the pig's gonna win that beauty pageant.

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1. There is no Lord my God. I don't have a God.

2. Except for Ryan Reynolds. I put him before any mythical creature.

3. I like the idea of of Ryan Reynolds before me. Use your imagination

4. I Have photographs of Ryan Reynolds. Statues don't do him justice.

5. God dammit, where is Ryan Reynolds?

6. The last time Ryan was over, we slept in on Sunday. It was quite holey.

7. I did not invite my father and mother over on that day, mostly because they're dead.

8. Neither Ryan nor I actually have the slightest desire to kill anybody, although a little maiming for certain Republicans will probably not be out of order.

9. My husband says it's all right for me to commit adultery with Ryan Reynolds.

10. Ryan is super rich. We don't need to steal anything, except some sweet moments together

11. Talk about bearing false witness! Blake lively claims that she's married to my Ryan.

12. I don't covet Ryan's house. He doesn't even live near me. Besides, he's Canadian.

13. Although Ryan technically isn't my neighbor, there are a few things of his that I covet. At least in a different translation, I do covet his donkey.

There you go, the 10 Commandments, courtesy of a Texas education.

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Amazing how often Christians tell us the Old Testament is just history and doesn't apply anymore, but then turn right around and try to push Old Testament rules on the rest of society at large.

And since we're on the subject, perhaps some of our local Christians would like to take a moment to explain why "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor" only applies to non-Christians, but when a Christian lies to a non-Christian it's perfectly fine?

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Build the wall! Around Texas and FL.

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I love the idea of sending in the 10 commandments in arabic. I think it was when there were major demonstrations in London against UK involvement in the Iraqi wars three decades or so ago that a guy who obviously looked 'foreign,' held up a poster written in arabic with an arrow on it. Underneath it had the translation in small print. 'Don't worry, it just says 'This way to McDonalds.'

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𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐹𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝐴𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐹𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡.

-- Aron Ra

And yet MORE BS from Texas, determined to entrench Christianity as its state religion and vitiate the doctrine of separation of state and church. I FULLY expect Texas to get some SERIOUS blowback from the FFRF, American Atheists, and the ACLU, at minimum.

And somehow, I doubt I'll be disappointed.

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Apr 4·edited Apr 4

Two stories today showing why Tex-ass needs that extra s.

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There are perfectly good secular justifications for outlawing murder and robbery. In certain circumstances it can be illegal to lie, such as when giving sworn testimony. Everything else in the Ten Commandments is religious dogma, and would be unconstitutional should anyone try writing them into law. Conservative Christians can NEVER stop trying to mark their territory in the public schools paid for by everyone's tax dollars. They can never stop trying to sell the fiction our system of government is somehow based on the Commandments.

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How about we put up "Blessed are the peacemakers..." or "Love your neighbor as yourself" or "love your enemies"? Or other good ideas from other famous figures? American Christianity really loves OT fire and brimstone god and doesn't like Jesus very much.

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I hope the Count of Mostly Crisco's 34 felony indictments are just the beginning of charges for him.

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So depressing that THIS is the classroom supplies conservative Christians think are important. Not paper, pencils, books, or ipads.

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OT- 𝑰𝒊𝒊𝒊𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒊𝒊𝒊𝒊𝒊𝒏𝒈!


First ex-Presidential motorcade to an arraignment? Check!

Best. Day. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳.



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A Trump appointed judge has stayed the Tennessee law banning drag shows, calling it unconstitutional breech of the first amendment. This and the chaplain law may face the same fate.

The USA was built to not have Lords, I do not recognize this being as my lord or god.

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So they're going to put up graven images that advise "Thou shalt not make to thyself any graven images.." Brilliant, just fucking brilliant. Or is an image of the Ten Commandments tablets not an image in Christ-land?

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Apr 4·edited Apr 4

Dear Texass...

a) Those laws were meant for the Chosen People and the Chosen People only. Unless you are Jewish, they have nothing to do with you.

b) That list was never called the 10 Commandments. Hell, that list was smashed by Moses and never used.

c) Want to put up the real 10 Commandments? Look to the list found in Exodus 34 and actually CALLED the 10 Commandments in Verse 28. They bear little resemblance to your list and they specifically refer to celebrating Jewish festivals.

Not that any of that matters. These bills are strictly unconstitutional and would be struck down at the federal level. So hope you're ready for lawsuits by the FFRF, Americans United for Separation of Church and State, American Atheists, etc.

EDIT I see Troublesh00ter already beat me to that lawsuit sentiment.

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