348 Comments

I am all for Mike Johnson leading the Republicans into the wilderness for 40 years.

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According to Google Maps, it's a 7 day walk from Cairo to Jerusalem.

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Not if you refuse to ask for directions.

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LOL!! I literally did a spit take on that one, Larry!!

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Men don't ask for directions

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Walking across the Sinai Desert takes about 40-60 days with camels (I've heard of tour groups that did it in far less time).

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Never smoked them. More of a Marboro man.

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Or as they're more appropriately known, Marble Row (as in a graveyard/cemetery).

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Depends on your speed. Maybe mo had a bad heart and couldn't manage more than a quarter mile every 1/2 hour and then 1/2 hour rest to catch his breath.

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Marboro man don't do speed.

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Just make sure that Apple Maps is on his phone.

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He picked Apple maps!? That probably made Gawd really, really mad!

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Too late. They are already there.

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You speak truth!

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I nominate this has the best comment yet,

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This qualifies as mental illness in my view, and religion seems to excuse a lot of it. Beware of politicians on a moral crusade because nothing good ever comes of it. Mike Johnson is someone who will always see his particular religion as the answer to every question. I suspect he is someone so delusional he believes this country would passively submit to being ruled by his brand of Jesus. I don't think he will last any longer than Kevin McCarthy.

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They are already turning on him.

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You can never be too pure to satisfy the lunatic caucus. All of which means they will never get anyting passed, but I don't think that's the point with them. It's all performance art, with the delusion they're totally owning the libs.

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The dysfunction is a feature, not a bug. It feeds back into their narrative that the best government is no government at all (except, of course, for Dear Leader)- they just have to break it themselves to prove that it's broken.

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What they want is a right-wing dictatorship, like in Russia.

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And Israel.

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What's the old joke?

Someone who hears god's voice coming from the toaster oven is clearly delusional, but take away the toaster oven intermediary and they're an upstanding member of the community.

(And, yes, it's a joke - I understand that there are actual psychological differences between those two things.)

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Another version: If a person is talking to himself in public he is delusional. If a person is talking specifically to a man who lives in the sky and controls the world, he is religious.

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At least ya get toast; part of well balanced breakfast.

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Dec 8, 2023·edited Dec 8, 2023

Here is a great case of why the medical definition of a delusional disorder should not exclude religious beliefs.

"The current DSM-IV definition of delusion exempts religious doctrine from pathology altogether."

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The religiously deluded are some of the most dangerous.

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But...but...if believing in a higher power and praying to him gives them comfort, what's wrong with that?™

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Given the limitless range of things people can take comfort from, I don't always see it as a positive. ;)

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For some reason, most people don't seem to get the same comfort from my pet rattlesnake that I do. 🫤

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People are funny that way.

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Now that my pet gator is eight feet long, nobody comes to visit me anymore, and I have to pick up my mail at the post office. 🤔

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lest ye be smitted!

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Which is like saying murder doesn't hurt people because they can no longer feel anything.

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2 Republican retirements away from a new speaker...

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This reminds me of the guys we use to see in San Francisco on the street.

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I had a brother in law who would wear a large wooden crucifix around his neck every day, in public. I've seen him talk in tongues at the kitchen table. But I must say that I look forward to Speaker Johnson addressing the Lower House of Congress in tongues.

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I'm 77 yrs. old. A long time ago my dad told me to remember that psych wards are full of people who believe that God speaks to them and tells them what to do in order to justify their greedy or illegal behavior. Looks like we have another one of 'em!!!!

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Dec 8, 2023·edited Dec 8, 2023

I mostly disagree with the folks calling him insane, because to riff on your story most of the folks your dad was talking about only ended up in psych wards to escape jail. IOW the greedy illegal behavior comes first, and then they 'find God' to justify what they wanted to do anyway or avoid the consequences of their choices. That's not insanity, that's just post hoc rationalization. And Johnson is doing it here. Had he lost the bid for speakership, does anyone seriously think he'd be comparing himself to Moses? No. Thus, not insane, just post hoc rationalization. Insane is the guy who *doesn't* become speaker or representative or anything else, yet still believes he's Moses.

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I wasn’t calling him insane, I was saying his behavior would be considered troublesome in any other situation. Usually, the in other situations, that behavior isn’t very harmful, but this one is likely to be catastrophic.

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Catastrophic maybe in the 'bad public policy' sense of his newly increased ego causes him to more forcefully promote conservative ideas that I (and probably you) think will be terrible for the country. But that is political disagreement, not insanity. I truly do NOT think this speech or comparison is catastrophic in the mental health sense of losing touch with reality to the extent that he is likely to act in a violent or harmful manner to himself or those around him. I mean seriously, do you REALLY think that this speech where he compares himself to Moses is an indication of the latter? I certainly don't.

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The political catastrophe was what I was saying. He’s claiming mental instability to gain power, I don’t believe he is truly unstable. His speech got the response he wanted when Rapert claimed him as one of them. But the dominionist policies and positions are catastrophic to the country and democracy, but also to many many many individuals who will face the consequences of them. Dead women from botched abortions or forced pregnancies, dead LGBT youth because they were kicked out of homes or suicide, dead immigrants at the borders from razor wire and saw blades in the river.

But I do not think that he truly believes himself Moses, he does believe in his own self importance though.

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You’re right, it’s not insanity. It’s just deluded extreme narcissism. They’re convinced that God is affirming what they already want to be true.

The ones who are convinced God is telling them something they DONT want to hear or be true might be closer to insane or actually insane, but they’re much more interesting.

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Just like all those creationists and their diehard advocates who convinced themselves that God is affirming their made up nation about evolution and the 4.5 billion year old earth being a lie and that the earth is only 6,000 years old with everything instantly poof into existence. So therefore, all most conform to this wacky ideological young earth fantasy or else God will throw them into the bowels of Hell, thus saith all those delusional idiots who should belong on the funny farm.

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The rethugs unanimously elected a dominionist who hears voices in his head to lead the House... They have truly become a cult. We, the people are truly screwed.

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Why are folks putting people who admit they’re mentally unstable in charge. He’s literally bragging about something that, in any other circumstance, would land him in the looney bin. If a homeless person told you this stuff while on the subway, you’d move to another car, but the GOP puts him in charge.

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Because every Christian out there knows he's lying. But that's okay, because he's lying FOR God, not about him...

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A couple of weeks ago a homeless woman in a wheelchair who hangs out* near where I live told me that she is Axel Rose's mother, that she fucked Kid Rock, and that she is Stevie Nicks. 😔

* I haven't seen her in a week and half

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Maybe she had to go on tour.

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More likely, she was arrested, hospitalized, or died.

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We've got a homeless person hanging around our place. She's mentally unstable and is stalking one of the residents. Said resident is getting a restraining order and if Stalky doesn't pack up and leave she'll be arrested.

(At this point, she's been hanging around for almost 3 days. She's already gifted us with at least 1 brown 'care package.' And she's probably sitting in another one)

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May he be 'smited' by a Jewish Space Laser. Consider the pool they're selecting from.

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"I am a democrat because I believe that no man or group of men is good enough to be trusted with uncontrolled power over others. And the higher the pretentions of such power, the more dangerous I think it both to the rulers and to the subjects. Hence Theocracy is the worst of all governments. If we must have a tyrant, a robber baron is far better than an inquisitor. The baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity as some point may be sated; and since he dimly knows he is doing wrong he may possibly repent. But the inquisitor who mistakes his own cruelty and lust of power and fear for the voice of Heaven will torment us infinitely because he torments us with the approval of his own conscience and his better impulses appear to him as temptations. And as Theocracy is the worst, the nearer any government approaches to a theocracy the worse it will be. A metaphysic, held by rulers with the force of religion, is a bad sign. It forbids them, like the inquisitor, to admit any grain of truth or good in their opponents." - C.S. Lewis

Say what you will about the man, but he was spot on in his thinking here.

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Ummm ... Mike Johnson as a modern-day Moses, to lead our country back to his god. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooookay. There's only one thing I can offer as a comment on this:

𝗛𝗨𝗕𝗥𝗜𝗦 𝗠𝗨𝗖𝗛???

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Dec 8, 2023·edited Dec 8, 2023

Seems to me that white evangelicalism is nothing but lies, delusion, and hubris. Calling himself Moses just fits the narrative.

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I remember the story of Moses, who took a nap, and thought he was Mike Johnson.

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Ummm ... Rip Van Johnson? 🤣🤣🤣

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Look, Mike Johnson and Moses are almost twins. Their names both begin with M. They are both white. I am pretty sure both Moses and Mike can count to ten. If you dropped both in a desert the size of Delaware, they would both get lost for forty years. And they would both gleeful watch the unnecessary deaths thousands of children in order to complete their plans. Twins, I say.

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God woke me up last night, told me to get up and pee.

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Your prostate is God?

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At least we can prove the prostate is real. Even if some deity exists, there's been no evidence, certainly not enough for proof.

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Is that your analysis?

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So much pressure.

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In Exodus 2:11-15, Moses discovers an Egyptian beating a Hebrew. He looks all around to make sure no one sees him and then kills the Egyptian, burying him in the desert. The next day, he sees two Hebrews fighting and tries to intervene. One says: "Who made you our ruler? Are you going to kill me like the Egyptian you killed?" Moses realizes he'd been observed and is filled with fear. Pharaoh also found out and tried to kill Moses, so Moses runs and hides, taking up residence in Midian.

Somehow, I doubt Johnson wants that part of the Moses story told or even acknowledged.

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He doesn't want to go to Midian, either. Big gay community. And he might meet up with his cousin, Seymour Johnson.

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If he hopes it will help him to become President he should read this myth again, even I know Moses never reached the promised land, he could only see it from afar (which proves, once more, his god is a sadist).

Fun fact Tina Turner believed to be the reincarnation of Pharaoh Hatshepsut. She shouldn't have bothered, she was a Queen by herself.

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Ever notice that everyone who claims to be reincarnated always used to be some famous person of antiquity in their past life? Nobody ever says "Yeah, I was a slave in the Congo basin for 22 years but died young of dysentery."

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In my past life, I was the great-grandson of Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, and Athena.

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getting the band back together?

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When I was about 4 or 5 I once told DM I was a German shepherd before 😁

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I wuz a Mongolian warlord, I tellz ya.

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Ying Ko? Is that you?

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I was Georgette. The where, when and whatever I do not know.

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Georgette Franklin Baxter?

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All these failed politicians who got duped by God into engaging in losing campaigns should bring a class action for fraudulent inducement.

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Service is gonna be tricky.....

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Might have to choke out a process server. “Quit struggling and look for the light.”

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Dec 8, 2023·edited Dec 8, 2023

It's not God's fault they misinterpreted "YOU SHOULD RUN" to mean 'try for political office' instead of the clearly intended 'I'm gonna torture you in hell when I catch you.'

Yahweh's followers seem irrationally egotistical in this way. If Zeus showed up and told you 'you should run,' nobody's going to be printing up campaign buttons instead of heading for the door.

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I saw Josh Hawley do that...Where was he off to?

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No, that's not all completely fucking batshit insane, is it.

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His "mom" found him in a basket down by the river. Or was it a van?

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Too bad he isn't a basket case.

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Says who?

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?

I took paracetamol for my back and I am drowsy.

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Oh c’mon Mike! Everyone knows the devil made you do it.

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I thought that was Geraldine Jones....?

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Luckily there are a lot of liberal Christians who are also liberal American voters, who won't be impressed by Johnson's posturing.

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He's Speaker of the House. Those "liberal christians" have dropped the ball.

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Voting is a game. If neither side will give you *everything* you want, just don't play. /s

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Dec 8, 2023·edited Dec 8, 2023

One side understands that politics is all about compromise. The other side...doesn't.

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I think they do understand, they just don't care.

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Works out the same.

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