Scamvangelist: Trump's critics will spend eternity hearing aborted babies' names
Kenneth Copeland issued a very specific threat against people who didn't vote for Donald Trump
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During a post-election service at Kenneth Copeland's Eagle Mountain International Church, the Christian scamvangelist insisted that anyone who didn’t vote for Donald Trump would be punished for all eternity… in a bizarrely specific way:
They would have to listen to the names of everyone who’s been aborted. Ever.
"I saw this in the spirit. Literally," Copeland declared. "[It was] Judgment Day, and Jesus stood there and he said, 'Those of you that didn't vote, I put you in that nation and you didn't vote ... or you didn't pray and vote like I told you to, you will listen to the names of all the babies that are here and never got any life. And it'll take a while because there's over 65 million of them. But you are gonna listen to every one of them and you are gonna be held responsible for their death.'"
That comment came after Copeland celebrated what he called an impending “spiritual awakening.” There will be “no more rainbow flags,” he said, adding that the “spirit of Margaret Sanger is gone" too.
But take a second to appreciate just how absurd his fantasy is.
Do Trump-loving Christians have to listen to the names of the women who have died because of the Republican Party’s abortion bans? What about the names of the increased number of abortion “victims” they personally created due to their cruel, careless policies?
Do Christians have to spend eternity listening to the names of all the LGBTQ people who took their own lives as a result of faith-based bullying? Or do those lives not matter?
How can you weep over victims of abortion while celebrating the end of “rainbow flags”? To quote the late George Carlin, “They're against abortion and they're against homosexuals. Well, who has less abortions than homosexuals?!”
Who’s naming zygotes? I would assume most women having the procedure never got around to that stage of pregnancy since they weren’t planning on having the child anyway. And if the baby did have a name, the mother almost certainly didn’t want to have an abortion but felt she needed to.
How quickly are we saying the names? Is it 1.75x speed, the way I listen to podcasts? Are we doing a song? Who’s the narrator?
Why are the Trump opponents in the same location as the aborted babies? Given that Christians often say those fetuses end up in Heaven, then the implication is that we’d be in Heaven, too. (Heaven is apparently very boring.)
If all of us are in Heaven, where would Copeland and his buddies be…?
Does that mean we won’t have to listen to Copeland in the afterlife? Because that might be a fair tradeoff.
Even if there were 65 million names—a number which, to be clear, Copeland is just pulling out of thin air—why would that matter in an infinite afterlife? That’s a blink of an eye in the light of eternity.
Anyway, listening to a Christian threaten everyone else with his idea of the afterlife is like threatening a vegan with spoiled meat. Why would we care? It might make you feel better but it doesn’t have any effect on the intended victims.
And if you’re wondering why anyone would take Copeland seriously, consider how many Americans just voted for a different bullshit artist as president. We’re not a country full of intelligent people.
This is the same Copeland who insisted his prayers defeated COVID… in March of 2020. He’s a professional bullshit artist who is only taken seriously by the most gullible Christians in the country. But those are also the same kind of people in charge of the government, and their desire to seek vengeance against their ideological and theological enemies shouldn’t be underestimated.
Copeland may not be part of the Trump administration, but the conservative Christians who are will absolutely try to inflict pain upon everyone who stands in the way of their thoughtless policies. Those policies, by the way, are just as sensible as Copeland’s threats.
Not that he’ll have to worry about the afterlife anytime soon. The 87-year-old Copeland has said God intends for him to live until the age of 120.
(via Right Wing Watch)
Kenneth Copeland has all the charm of a rotting corpse, and I will never understand why so many people have delegated an important part of their thinking to him. I don't believe in any kind of after life, and even if it exists Copeland doesn't get to decide who goes where. This whole theatrical farce is in keeping with my long held belief that Christianity is made up of roughly equal parts comfort myth and revenge fantasy.
"... or you didn't pray and vote like I told you to, you ..."
Take away the absurdity of Copeland's punishment fever dream, and you find this at the core. He expects absolute obedience. Not to God, but to 𝘩𝘪𝘮. He tells his followers he has a direct line to his God and therefore they aren't allowed to think for themselves, but must accept Copeland's authority.