185 Comments
User's avatar
jomicur's avatar

AAAANNDD... Cue the inevitable "They shouldn't call themselves satanists" commenters. "If they'd just call themselves 'The Church of Cute Little Ducklings' there wouldn't be a problem. I get what they're trying to do, but this isn't the way to do it."

They obviously DON'T get what TST is trying to do, but I'm fresh out of ways to try to convince them of it.

Shuzi's avatar

It's probably complaining about solitary confinement with 10 other ducks.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Quack-quack, baby! 🦆

Lynn James's avatar

Thnx, I needed that laugh!

NOGODZ20's avatar

Ah, Rick Dees. Here's the deeeee-mented original...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70EisL5TEFE

larry parker's avatar

Why is Donald bare footed but Daisy is wearing shoes?

NOGODZ20's avatar

He's wearing a shirt with no pants.

Humans do that in public and they get an encounter with the law.

Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

He wears a shirt with no pants, but when he gets out of the bath he wraps a towel around his waist to cover his butt. What’s that about?

NOGODZ20's avatar

How can he even bathe properly? Wouldn't he just float on the top of the water in the tub?

RegularJoe's avatar

Just for fun, more than you ever wanted to know about ducks and their corkscrew penises: https://www.buzzfeed.com/kellyoakes/this-aint-a-scene-its-a-sexual-arms-race

(I raised Muscovies...they don't quack, they hiss. 🙂)

Matri's avatar

So they're Cobra Ducks.

Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Male gaze must be indoctrinated very early.

Lynn James's avatar

You said it much better than I could. :-)

Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

It's my training as a misogynist male rapist like what's her name already said a few days ago 😁

RegularJoe's avatar

Because heels.

(I'd say "it's a chick thing" but we're talking about ducks and saying "it's a duckling thing" hasn't really entered the lexicon.)

NOGODZ20's avatar

Been waiting for the tut-tutting tone trolls to show.

cdbunch's avatar

Article went up too late in the day. Won't see them until tomorrow.

Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

It's already tomorrow for GS and mine is less than 20 minutes away.

cdbunch's avatar

Yeah, Yeah. The point is commenting on this blog goes way down after 5p America/Chicago. The Pacific coast people must be signing off for their afternoon nap :) (Speaking of timezones, my co-worker called me on a Sunday morning at 6:30a Texas time for a problem that could easily have waited until noon. Of course, I was in California at the time, so it was 4:30a)

NOGODZ20's avatar

Left Coaster here. See if you can keep up with us oldies. :D

Lynn James's avatar

Because if hateful bigoted Christians don't have to pussyfoot around about their identity and what they stand for, why should the Satanists? Rules for thee but not for me.

NoOne of Consequence's avatar

Good, making it cost money is probably the only way to get rid of this nonsense. We desperately need to remind people the US has a secular government before we don't anymore.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Here we go again, I guess, Christian privilege against a secular religion that makes those same Christians uncomfortable. I'm not a Satanist, myself, but if someone wants to say, "Hail Satan," that's his trip. I might just respond with: "Rock and roll, dude!"

Sadly, the christers will insist on getting bent out of shape, and I'm personally dubious that Mr. Vavrick will ever be able to give his invocation. Their loss.

XJC's avatar

Kale Seitan (healthy alternative)

Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Kale is THE proof the christian god is a sadist. It's inedible even drowned with spices 🤢

wreck's avatar

Roast it with a little olive oil and salt to make kale chips. They're not bad.

Maltnothops's avatar

I did that. I agree that they are “not bad”. The next year I planted no kale.

Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

The only time I ate kale was chili peppers flavored kale chips. Inedible.

Anthea Phillips's avatar

My daughter makes kale chips. They are kale “crack” at our house! 😋

Lynn James's avatar

I make salads with it. Fresh kale, tomatoes, onion, cucumber, green pepper. other veggies. I actually like it, so I guess I'm the weirdo in this equation.

Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

It depends, when I say I like tofu I am the weirdo one 😁

XJC's avatar

Gotta disagree there. Like religion, if you shove it down someone's throat in raw form, it tastes like shit. But like atheism, if you find the right kind and put some thought into preparing it, it's delicious.

NoOne of Consequence's avatar

Pretty sure the only polite response to 'hail satan' is to shout 'SLAYER!!'. ;)

painedumonde's avatar

Not only should the invocation be read, but this article as well!

NOGODZ20's avatar

Good!

Religious freedom, Christians. I do not think it means what you think it means.

cdbunch's avatar

It means you're free to be any kind of fundamentalist you want. Baptist, Wesleyan, Catholic, etc.

NOGODZ20's avatar

"We got BOTH kinds. We got Country AND Western"

Lynn James's avatar

An' you-uns had better pick thuh raht one, else we'll be a-comin' fer ya.

Boreal's avatar

Free as a banned book.

jomicur's avatar

And they believe in your freedom of choice...for that.

Whitney's avatar

Ah, yes, the idea that equality is 'only for people I don't object to' thing. Lots of that going around these days.

As discussed many, many, many times on FA, curtailing the invocation is the way to go for any number of reasons. These invocations are divisive, exclusionary, and get in the way of whatever business the council should be addressing with its time; to say nothing of the point that such public prayers are dubious in the most commonly seen Christian tradition anyway. At this point, I'm regarding this as an essential failure of faith by the Christian community since I can't remember the last time I saw or heard a Christian telling another Christian to stop with the public prayers. They really just don't care about what their own scriptures say, they're going to be Christian in whatever way they think suits them best.

This is why nobody wants to go to church anymore. When you get religion shoved in your face all the time whether you want it or not, going voluntarily seems like overkill.

Joan the Dork's avatar

Watching theocrats shit bricks over TST will never not be funny.

NOGODZ20's avatar

Satan is more powerful than their god.

larry parker's avatar

I'm more powerful than their god. ; )

NOGODZ20's avatar

A lump of dirt is more powerful than their god.

larry parker's avatar

Are you calling me a lump of dirt, you sack of seaweed. : )

NOGODZ20's avatar

Aren't we ALL descended from a man made of dirt? ;)

Len Koz's avatar

If man is made from dirt, why is there still dirt? ;-)

Guerillasurgeon's avatar

But not more powerful than his representatives who managed to extract large sums of money from the gullible. Perhaps it would be better to say "I'm more powerful than their God, and more ethical than their pastors."

larry parker's avatar

There are probably exceptions, but I'm pretty sure that I can take every preacher that I've ever met. : )

Joe King's avatar

" “Once I learned that he wanted to end his convocation with ‘Hail Satan’ it ceased being something I could support,” La Spata wrote in the email."

The Christian Fucking Privilege out there in the open, with a paper trail. This official needs to be removed from office. At the next election, if not sooner.

larry parker's avatar

I would think that "by arcane doctrines born of fearful minds in darkened times" or "and dissipate our blissful and comforting delusions of old." might ruffle his feathers, but I guess "Hail Satan" is the only part he comprehended.

Lynn James's avatar

I don't believe many of them are known for their reading comprehension.

oraxx's avatar

I get what The Satanic Temple is doing here. They are pointing out how inappropriate it is for public meetings to open with an invocation of any kind. We are supposed to have secular government, and religion has no role to play in it.

Maltnothops's avatar

Cross-posting:

I always thought it would be hilarious to give an invocation at a public event by quoting the part about praying in one’s closet. That would be my entire invocation. Or maybe append a plea to Jesus to help us not pray in public.

Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

After that, I would ask them why they hate Jesus. He told them not to do it, and they are doing it anyway, so they must hate him.

Maltnothops's avatar

The holiday display in the photo is inspired! Also the black attire.

larry parker's avatar

The Devil Wears Prada.

Lynn James's avatar

Ahh, The Wacky Races and The Perils of Penelope Pittstop. Good Ole Dick Dastardly and Muttley!

(My childhood is littered with these strange bits and pieces of old Saturday morning cartoons.)

Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

NOGODZ know why I post this. Since I don't know for you I will explain. In the French version Dastardly is called Satanas 🙂

Lynn James's avatar

Makes sense! :) And evokes fond memories spent in front of the television.

Karen B. Jones's avatar

I'm curious if it's just Satanists being denied or if Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish, Wiccan, or any of the many less well-known religions of which I'm ignorant of have also been denied.

larry parker's avatar

I don't know for sure, but everyone listed so far this year (at the link) have been christian.

larry parker's avatar

I would have gone back farther, but you have to download a pfd for each one and I think the results are pretty predictable.

Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

The others probably don't bother making the request.

Joe King's avatar

Mainly because they are less aggressive at fighting Christian Privilege.

Lynn James's avatar

I'd like to see what would happen if they all tried and were refused; imagine the christians having to explain their way out of each and every one of those scenarios.

Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

OT - Speaking of cartoon logic

𝐁𝐨𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐬 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: ‘𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐤𝐢𝐝'

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/other/boebert-claims-birth-control-too-expensive-in-drug-price-hearing-it-s-cheaper-to-have-a-kid/ar-AA1bBftw

Maltnothops's avatar

I used to work on Capitol Hill in the 1990s. A running discussion amongst Hill staff was which electeds were dumber than a stump. I gotta say, those people were geniuses compared to the current crop.

I’ve never seen Idiocracy. I’m not sure I need to.

Len Koz's avatar

You're alive in 2023 and aware of US politicians. You have seen Idiocracy.

cdbunch's avatar

It was funny until it became prophetic.

Guerillasurgeon's avatar

So that's why she is happy her teenage son knocked up a fellow teenager?

Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

From Planned parenthood website "Birth control pills cost between $0–$50 a month. They can be totally free with most health insurance plans, or if you qualify for some government programs."

Now let's put aside a healthy pregnancy costs and talk every day life. How much a week for diapers or formula ? miss boetfart are you sure you know the meaning of the word cheaper ?

cdbunch's avatar

Even after the diapers, there's the school fundraisers (because, Zeus forbid, the government fully fund government schools)

Lynn James's avatar

From what absurdist alternate universe does Lowdown Butthurt hail?

Len Koz's avatar

I'd say she was dumb as a stump but I don't want to insult stumps.

Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

There is only one you can sit on without catching the rabies.

Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

And being charged for it.

XJC's avatar

"Jesus Christ, enough already." -- Jesus (God), heard mumbling to Pat Robertson last Monday afternoon.

Lynn James's avatar

Please Jeus, SAVE US FROM YOUR FOLLOWERS!!!!!!!

NOGODZ20's avatar

"Jesus is ideal and wonderful, but you Christians --- you are not like him"

-- Bara Dada, Indian Philosopher, 1925