215 Comments
User's avatar
oraxx's avatar

DeSantis is supposedly a lawyer and he should have enough familiarity with the U.S. Constitution to know our SECULAR government cannot choose one religion over another. He is an over-compensating, wannabe dictator with a Napoleon complex. We need federal legislation with some teeth in it to keep the preachers out of the public schools once and for all. The younger the child, the more vulnerable they are, because they are effectively powerless.

Expand full comment
Sko Hayes's avatar

He does know better, but he also knows his followers don't.

Expand full comment
Crowscage's avatar

Knowing better and giving shit one are separate things.

Expand full comment
Sko Hayes's avatar

Truth!

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

He also studied history. In by one ear, out by the other.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

He is unfortunately, my governor and everything he does is lunatic fringe performance art for the nutters who voted for him. He knows better, but spends so much time in “the upside down” world of Fox (so-called) news that he cannot go back to sane discourse.

Expand full comment
painedumonde's avatar

When your job in the Navy was to use your lawyer skills to prop up tortue (force feeding) at GTMO and giggle while watching [unconfirmed]...

Well, who's the demon?

Expand full comment
oraxx's avatar

Exactly.

Expand full comment
Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Just another sociopath.

Expand full comment
RegularJoe's avatar

He was a JAGOff. He still is, but in a different sense....all lower-case, for starters.

Expand full comment
Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

DeSantis thinks he is Tom Cruise’s Kafee, but really he’s just private Downey. You know the exceptionally clueless scapegoat that needed looking after.

Expand full comment
Die Anyway's avatar

DeSantis may have been an Officer but he is not a Gentleman.

Expand full comment
Matri's avatar

He is neither.

Expand full comment
Matri's avatar

Ghouliani was also SUPPOSEDLY a lawyer, never stopped him from saying stupid shit (aka, normal Republican things).

Expand full comment
oraxx's avatar

Trump's inner circle is where careers and reputations go to die, and lives go to get destroyed. I have zero sympathy for Rudy.

Expand full comment
Stephen Brady's avatar

This is all performance art. Rhonda Sandtits is an attention whore with the deep pockets of the people of Florida to bankroll the inevitable lawsuits. He has wasted already, a huge amount of taxpayer money with little but embarrassment to show for it. By playing stupid games, the people of Florida have won a lot of stupid prizes... a public education system on life support, no one to pick their crops or clean their hotel rooms, unaffordable to unavailable-at-any-cost insurance, it goes on and on - there doesn't seem to be any end to their MAGAt depravity. Scientist are seriously considering adding Category 6 to the hurricane intensity scale. Florida is a, ahem, large projection dangling down between 2 bodies already too-warn water, known to spawn Cat 5s. One Cat 6 and Florida is over.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Evan Hurst of Wonkette calls us “America’s penis. He’s not wrong.

Expand full comment
Holytape's avatar

Does that make Louisiana America's taint?

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

"Rhonda Sandtits"

Never see that one before. It's a good one 🤣

Expand full comment
Stephen Brady's avatar

I have been calling him that for a while. Thanks!

Expand full comment
Holytape's avatar

Yeah, but there are no more teh Gays. Miami and Key West are now straight.

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

To denazillon, keep your bigotry out of vaginas and public schools. If the number of parishioners plummet, ask yourself why instead of doubling down on the propaganda. Self reflection is not really your strong point.

"That means, however, that non-Christian groups will not be prohibited from participating in the program. [...]If a district allows Christian chaplains to work with kids but says no to an otherwise qualified non-theistic chaplain, it’s a lawsuit waiting to happen."

We are talking about a man-child who sued a major corporation, and squandered taxpayers money, because his fragile ego was bruised.

Expand full comment
oraxx's avatar

The DeSantis approach to anything he sees as a problem is to try and force those who disagree with him to knuckle under.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

The time honored tradition of dictators everywhere. When you are a dull hammer everything gets treated like a nail.

Expand full comment
Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

I’m just so disgusted by DeSantis’ attacks on public schools considering his background in education. I guess private school teachers are just as greedy snobs as private school alumni.

What do you expect from the Greedy Oligarch Party.

I’ll repeat it to the choir, but there is no place for chaplains in public schools. The precious resources are better spent on educational materials and certified staff, including counselors.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

And you notice he cut all those things!

Expand full comment
Matri's avatar

That goes counter to the Republican’s War On Education.

Expand full comment
Anri's avatar

His education is good enough that he would never have voted for someone as awful as himself for a candidate.

So, to remain in office, he's got to wreck the system.

It's kicking away the ladder, but making sure some folks are trying to climb it first.

Expand full comment
NOGODZ20's avatar

Florida Man invites lawsuits. It would be impolite not to accept such invitations.

Christian-only chaplains? Which sect? Your fellow believers don't think Catholics like yourself are "True Christians." What happens when all the non-Catholics use this bill to freeze out members of the Church of the Holy Pedophile?

Expand full comment
Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

The scientoologists must be chomping at the bit to get in on this. They have already managed to get some of their anti-drug programs into public schools here. Also, one of their headquarters is in Clearwater, where they own most of the downtown property.

Expand full comment
NOGODZ20's avatar

Hubbard's horde have anti-drug programs? Given what they believe, it sounds like their whole religion was concocted by people who were high.

Expand full comment
Matri's avatar

Republicans. Violating the Constitution as if they were in a hentai movie.

Expand full comment
NOGODZ20's avatar

THERE'S an image I won't be shaking soon. 🙂

Expand full comment
cdbunch's avatar

Yeah, when I came out, my mother pushed me to see her pastor. I did on the condition she read a book on reconciling being gay with Christianity. AFAIK, she didn't uphold her end of the bargain. Needless to say, I'm still gay, and not a Christian.

I foresee a lot of parents of LGBT students trying to force their kids to see Christian chaplains, rather than councilors trained to help with self-hate and coping with societal, even parental, hate.

Expand full comment
Matri's avatar

Need to admit that they were wrong for that to happen, and Christianity is all about admitting they are in the Right.

Expand full comment
ericc's avatar

𝐷𝑒𝑆𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑓 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑑 𝑔𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠. 𝐻𝑒’𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑟 𝑏𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒𝑠

Because being the right's culture warrior was such a winning strategy for getting the GOP Presidential nomination, right?

Sigh. Well, due to FL's "only twice in a row" rule he can't run for governor in 2026. Maybe he's trying to build up enough popularity to create a state constitutional change. Or build up enough momentum now to last him until President 2028, Senate 2028, or Governor 2030. If so, I don't think it'll work. The base is too fickle. By that time they will have a new favorite angry white man.

Expand full comment
Tinker's avatar

They did change their law to allow him to run for President while remaining governor.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Only because he is such a vindictive fuck, and they truly thought he would win. He is toast now he bled too many of them dry monetarily they never liked him anyway, so they don’t want him back.

Expand full comment
ericc's avatar

Yeah, whatever political image he's going for with all this culture war stuff, I think the image he actually achieved was "true conservative, but at larger change, a failure." Disney, school censorship, this...If it was legal for him to run I could see them supporting him over a Dem, but I can't see the business conservatives in FL wanting to go to any extra effort to keep him around. But hey, I'm not from FL, so maybe I've completely misread his popularity there.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

He's actually trying to walk back some of the more egregious shit, mostly because he got trolled on the book challenges, by a lovely man who used it to challenge the bible.

That said, the knives are out for him politically, and no one's back deserves the "Caesar in the Ides of March" treatment more, here in FL. Even as you said, the business donors saw what he did to Disney, who had been a donor for years (cost of doing business here) and realized he didn't respect their "donations" to his campaign, as he is a thin-skinned narcisist, like a certain Orange baboon, who mostly stays bought.

Expand full comment
Troublesh00ter's avatar

Open mouth; insert foot ... down to the knee. Once again, Ron DeSantis demonstrates his open contempt for any religion not Christian, and most specifically The Satanic Temple, which as Hemant reminded everyone, is recognized by the IRS as a valid religion. As such, DeSantis has no legal leg to stand on, regarding any challenge that might come from TST or elsewhere.

I realize that Ronnie will fight this to the bitter end. I just wish he would recognize the waste of time and money he's indulging in.

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Not his money, why would he care ?

Expand full comment
Troublesh00ter's avatar

True, it's the taxpayers' money he's squandering. What needs to happen is some continued news media attention on this issue, with attention to DeSantis' apparent obsession with it and his failure to appreciate its wasteful nature. Yeah, I know, that probably won't happen, not in today's "if-it-bleeds-it-leads" culture.

It's a nice thought, though.

Expand full comment
Bill Wilson's avatar

Santeria, Vodou, Hindu, Zen, Shinto, Wicca, Islam, Hari Krishna, Norse, and a multitude of Christian sects will be stiff competition for the priests/priestess of Satan. I think the plaintiffs in these cases should represent more of the spectrum of belief and worship practice. However, as the saying goes - “Sata…eh…the dude abides.” Or as has been wisely noted don’t hire “chaplains” and get this type of legislation repealed and not brought up of a vote without debate and still vote it down.

Expand full comment
Richard S. Russell's avatar

What I don't understand is whether schools will set up private conference offices for these "volunteer" non-employees to come and go as they please. And, if they do, how long before some Catholic priest takes advantage of the privacy thereby afforded to do what Catholic priests are now notorious for doing?

Expand full comment
Kay-El's avatar

It seems like DeSatanic Majesty’s request to put religious folk in schools is just another way to punish Florida’s people for not kissing the ring to his every whim and pushing back. I hope there is a lawsuit and he gets kicked in the nuts again. With white go-go boots.

Expand full comment
NOGODZ20's avatar

Worn by drag queens holding children's books.

Expand full comment
Kay-El's avatar

Perfect!

Expand full comment
Matri's avatar

Nah, steel-toed boots.

Or at least those boots with knives on their toes.

Expand full comment
Holytape's avatar

Well, DeSantis has an easy solution. If Chaplains are required for school, and he can't block Satanists from becoming chaplains, then he can simply get rid of schools. Simple solution. If prevents kids form worshipping Satan. Saves money in the state budge and prevents the children from being exposes them to dangers ideas, feelings and the concept that there are other people. DeSantis kills like 5 birds with 3 stones, I am not sure of the ratio. I went to a Florida public school.

Expand full comment
larry parker's avatar

I went to a Florida public school for first grade and the one that comes after that.

Expand full comment
Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

Also first.

Expand full comment
larry parker's avatar

I don't get it, give me a second. : )

Expand full comment
Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

How about a couple.

Expand full comment
Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

"I went to a Florida public school."

I call BS on that. Way too few typos.

Expand full comment
Holytape's avatar

half u ever red mie rightin? i flip a coin to determine witch their, they're there i done use.

Expand full comment
Bagen Onuts's avatar

I type like that normally. I run about 3 typos per word.

Expand full comment
Jarred Harris's avatar

These guys really seem to be looking to get themselves into all kind of trouble.

I'm not sure I like the whole parental permission thing, though. What about the students' right to make their own religious decisions. This is always my issue with "parental rights" issues/rhetoric; The child also has rights and a lot of parents don't care about that. Hell, sometimes they don't even care about the child's well-being.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

To the Christian nationalists children are their property.

Expand full comment
Jarred Harris's avatar

Agreed. Though experience tells me it's not an exclusively CN mentality either. Lots of people seem to struggle with the idea that kids are their own person to one degree or another.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Mostly because their particular take on religion, usually fundamentalism (see: the Duggars) says so, whatever stripe they are. There are higher thinking people of faith of course, the gold-standard is Jimmy Carter, but he had nice parents that set a good example, and he was well educated so not all religious for sure..

Expand full comment
cdbunch's avatar

I've said before, children have rights, parents have responsibilities.

Expand full comment
Jarred Harris's avatar

An excellent way of putting it.

Expand full comment
Stephen Brady's avatar

This GAY 69 year old got his ass the hell out of Floriduh after living there for almost 42 years.

Expand full comment
Guerillasurgeon's avatar

I used to think this was sort of fun, but now it's just getting tedious. "When will they ever learn, when will they eeeever leeeeern."

Expand full comment
cdbunch's avatar

When we dust the moon off and find green cheese.

Expand full comment
cdbunch's avatar

Or maybe when the Doctor fails to save Earth from yet another Dalek invasion.

Expand full comment
NOGODZ20's avatar

Wallace and Gromit already found it.

https://youtu.be/T0qagA4_eVQ

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

À la Saint Glinglin.

Expand full comment
Whitney's avatar

Just for the fun of being horribly technical, I decided to check Merriam-Webster for a definition of the term 'chaplain'. (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chaplain) It doesn't say anywhere the term is limited to Christians. One of the examples on the page at the time actually mentions a Muslim chaplain.

DeSantis may be shocked, but Christians do not, in point of fact, actually own words specific to only their religion in most cases. Common sense knows that, and very well knows that once that door to school chaplains is open, anyone is allowed to walk through it. This is nothing more than pandering to his base, the very same base that saw his presidential campaign fail when faced with Trump's competition. Have fun with those unwinnable lawsuits, Florida.

Expand full comment
cdbunch's avatar

Maybe Ron is more devious than we've given him credit for. He may win his war with the Mouse after all when he drives all their employees to leave the state.

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Pyrrhic victory. Who will ensure the maintenance of the attractions and rides ?

Expand full comment
RegularJoe's avatar

Fun is a sin. Those kiddos need Bible camp (where they can *be* the rides).

Expand full comment
Bagen Onuts's avatar

If you're happy and you know it, it's a sin.

Expand full comment
NOGODZ20's avatar

We posted the same thought at the same time. GMTA.

Expand full comment
cdbunch's avatar

I said devious, not smart.

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Nope. Different time zones 😁

Expand full comment
NOGODZ20's avatar

Must be. Since my post appeared where it did, that makes it slightly older by a few seconds. 😄

Expand full comment
NOGODZ20's avatar

Sounds a rather pyrrhic victory.

Expand full comment
RegularJoe's avatar

Seems there may be an Abrahamic mythos origin to the word: https://www.etymonline.com/word/chaplain

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

In the same vein. danazillon is catholic, right ? Pontifex was a Pagan term before being highjacked by christians.

Expand full comment
RegularJoe's avatar

Honestly, I don't know what that danazillion is/means.

I don't judge a word by its origins, else I'd understand why Trumpublicans hate Al Gebra and the like. ;-)

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Nazi = genocidal asshole.

Nazillon = wannabe genocidal asshole. Like obese magas who think they can win against the US army when they can barely lift their AR-15 and wear a cheap bulletproof vest.

Expand full comment
Bagen Onuts's avatar

"Bulletproof" as in BB from a Daisy air rifle.

Expand full comment
Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Yes, he is a catholic. Although people close their family have said that they are not particularly religious. Performance piety.

Expand full comment
Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Also, if these cultural war issues were so important to him, why didn't he start his "war on woke" during his first term?

Expand full comment