326 Comments

If, as they claim, God is omnipotent and also omnipresent, no human could ever expel him from any location. Do people actually believe their own doctrines? Is their belief in magic actually such that putting up a sign will beat Satan through summoning God back? I really wonder with things like this. Even as a child it struck me though how weak the faith of even the seemingly most fervent believers is, it appears, that they need crude symbols like this (imposed on others too) to shore it up, regardless of their own theology.

Expand full comment

But God needs our help... and our money.

Expand full comment

He's very bad with money.

Expand full comment

And children.

Expand full comment

Well, definitely the people who claim to speak for him...

Expand full comment

And poverty, disease, hunger, etc.

Expand full comment

And don’t forget his aim.

Expand full comment

Means to smite the Left Coast and hits a trailer park in the bible belt

He really should get corrective lenses.

Expand full comment

And new parishioners, which they won't get unless they invade public spaces to gain access to the children of other people...

Expand full comment
deletedMay 24·edited May 24
Comment deleted
Expand full comment

Good point, I forgot about that. Time was, long ago, that Protestants attacked the Catholics over that, even destroying images they used. Now their successors are very idolatrous themselves.

Expand full comment

They don't even believe in the Ten Commandments.

1. Commandment one starts with "I am the Lord who brought you out of bondage in the land of Egypt..." Yet they fight to maintain their own power and supremacy. When ever a liberation and equality movement happens in America, they oppose it.

And no other gods before Me? It's a fucking joke. "God" tells us to help the poor, welcome the immigrant, help the refugees... all things they oppose. "God" tells us to set aside ten percent of our income every third year for a fund to feed the poor and immigrants. "God" tells farmers to leave produce in the fields to help feed them. "God" tells us that public religion makes him sick unless it's backed up by kindness to the poor, justice to the oppressed, and right actions.

2. He leaves off don't make a graven image because he's proposing a graven image that he thinks has power and magic to make society better.

3. Don't take God's name in vain. Like plastering God everywhere in a society that doesn't do a damn thing He supposedly said about caring for the poor, fighting for justice for the oppressed in society, and welcoming strangers and treating them as citizens?

4. The Sabbath? Businesses are open 7 days a week. Are they really going to sacrifice all that money to outlaw commerce on Saturday/Sunday? And let's be honest, it will be Sunday because the Judeo part of Judeo-Christian is just window dressing.

5. If you need a god to get your kids to love and respect you, you're failing as a parent. Try to not be a belligerent asshole to them.

6. Don't kill. Are you against the death penalty? Are you against wars unless they're for the survival of your nation? Are you against gun control? You don't take this commandment seriously either.

7. Don't commit adultery. I think it's self-evident how seriously Christians take this commandment.

8. Don't steal. Wage theft is rampant. So are stories of Christians stealing from churches and congregations. Pyramid schemes. Opposition to financial and business regulations to prevent fraud. Child labor. It's a fucking joke to think we take this one seriously as a nation.

9. Don't lie. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... you lie constantly. You lie about abortion. You lie about the LGBTQ community. You support a man who is incapable of telling the truth to be your leader. You lie and slander Democrats. You lie about history. You lie about science and scientists. You slander doctors and nurses.

10. Do not covet. Motherfucker, what do you think drives capitalism? Especially end stage capitalism? Consumption. Desire. Coveting. Yet you celebrate capitalism as if it were handed down to Adam Smith by Jesus Christ himself and resist any attempts to make things more just, fair, and kind.

And you have the audacity to say that we should lay yet another lie on to children to brainwash them into becoming twice the sons of Hell that you are.

Expand full comment

When I was a kid in the 50s, businesses were closed on Sundays. Except for restaurants, which churchgoers needed to get the taste of that last sermon out of their mouths.

Expand full comment

In my town the drugstore was allowed to open but only the aisles that had medical stuff. Toys, beauty products, and other sundries were roped off.

Expand full comment

Well written. Thank you

Expand full comment

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👍

Expand full comment

There isn't a shred of objective evidence to support the claim the Ten Commandments and school prayer ever prevented a single tragedy. This is just one more thing we're supposed to take on faith, because a Christian said it. I suspect this man would go out of his tiny little mind at the mere suggestion any religion but his own be recognized on public property. It is completely lost on the people who keep trying to force the Commandments into the public schools, that eight of them would be unconstitutional should anyone try writing them into law.

Expand full comment

Hey ! Look at how many children are killed in French schools each year.

Expand full comment

I don't know the number, but you seldom hear about it. I would upvote you if I could.

Expand full comment

There are no prayer in Norwegian schools anymore. And guess what? In those 25 years one student was stabbed, not fatally though.

But we had the Breivik at Utøya i 2011. He said he was xian. (I knew at least three of those killed and know several of those "only" injured.

Expand full comment

Kids are supposed to pray before getting shot in America, so hopefully they go to heaven afterwards. Thoughts and prayers!

Expand full comment
May 24·edited May 24

Moreover, while mass shootings seem to be up, I'd guess overall things are better. Since school prayer was eliminated, without having done the research I would expect every single one of these things to be true: fewer kids die in their teen years, both overall and as a result of assault, accident, hazing/bullying or drunk driving. Literacy rates are up. % of kids (especially girls) getting a college entry level education are up. Chicken pox and other traditional, communicable childhood disease rates are way down. Teen pregnancy is down. And the list probably goes on. Now...none of these things are in any way directly related to school prayer. But if this guy's gonna suggest spruious correlations, I'm gonna take his spurious correlation to it's logical conclusions.

I doubt any of these fundies who idolize the ''50s would ever really want to live in it. And they sure as heck wouldn't want their kids to go through it.

Expand full comment

For their sons probably not, for their daughters it's another story.

Expand full comment

All these officials trying to install the Ten Commandments everywhere in public is heading us to what you might call a 'decaloguejam.'

Expand full comment

Well...... UK state schools are supposed to have a service "broadly of a Christian nature" (must check wording) every day and a short search finds no official statistics on murders in schools. So, obviously it must work, mustn't it?

Expand full comment

Correlation does not equal causation, but I'm pretty sure you know that. ;)

Expand full comment

I bet you wrote an /s in your mind.

Expand full comment

“Satan’s grapes”

Dibs on band name.

Expand full comment

What about the "Devil's Kumquats"? "Lucifer's Lemons"? Or "Beelzebul Blueberries?"

Expand full comment

'What are, "things I never want to put in my mouth", Alex.'

Expand full comment

Azrael's avocados... or more likely, artichokes.

Expand full comment

Sqeeze my lemon til the juice runs down my leg.

Expand full comment

I believe that's the varietal used to make this:

https://images.vivino.com/thumbs/SWQvFshkTQyfx_WVBDBdjw_pb_x960.png

Expand full comment

You don't suppose they make a nice Merlot, do you? 😁

Expand full comment

They're used in Cabernet Sheolvignon

Expand full comment

I'll drink to that!

Expand full comment

I believe the god referred to in the 10 commandments was actually the Jewish god. Christianity had not been invented when Moses supposedly brought them down from the mountain. The plot thickens.

Expand full comment

In a couple of places, the New Testament refers to Satan as "the god of this world" not to mention that Jesus never deigns to mention abortion or LGBTQ issues...

Expand full comment

Or abortion, they pulled that out of their ass, the bible mentions how to poison an unfaithful wife and cause one though.

Expand full comment

Pretty much unbelievably, I had a Christian tell me that anyone who lived by Christian principles was a Christian, even if they lived before Jesus. He was a YEC, but still.

Expand full comment

OT, I’ve just had one of the worst days. I had to euthanize my 14 year old cat, Fred. He was a good boy, a very good boy and the whole family will miss him immensely.

I also twisted my ankle if the curb at the vet’s office. So I will be heading to urgent care soon to take care of that.

Expand full comment

Deepest condolences.

Today (the Friday before Memorial Day weekend) marks 2 years since I had to say goodbye to my Very Good Boy, Casper. He was an English Springer Spaniel, a good traveling companion, a good friend.

May the memories of Fred bring smiles to your heart.

Expand full comment

DAMN. Very sorry to hear about both your cat and your ankle. Do please take care of YOU, okay?

Expand full comment

Sorry to hear that... saying goodbye to our fur-babies is never easy.

Expand full comment

Thank you all.

My ankle is only sprained, no breaks. So, I’m on Aleve, ice and a brace for a while.

Expand full comment

I’m so sorry. Losing pets is losing family. Best wishes (glad your ankle isn’t broken)

Expand full comment

So sorry about both! Best wishes for both the emotional and physical recoveries.

Expand full comment

I'm sorry. Your cat was lucky to have you. Hugs

Expand full comment

Order pizza for dinner and have the other half pick up a chocolate cake for dessert, that kind of day needs special treatment! Take care of yourself, and my deepest condolences.

Expand full comment

I still have my eye appointment and rehearsal tonight. Dinner is on hubby.

Expand full comment

You are right, there’s little worse than that. Sending you love, hugs and wishes for better days in the future.

Expand full comment

Nine Commandments? There were Fifteen Commandments before Moses accidentally dropped and broke one tablet. I have visual evidence...

https://youtu.be/4wunGF3oMA0

(C'mon, you knew someone was gonna post this) :)

Expand full comment

Ah, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 the post I scrolled through the whole thread to make sure I wasn't going to duplicate. XD

Expand full comment

Surprised nobody posted it before me. :D

Expand full comment
May 24·edited May 24

This constant whingeing about how 'current society is in a war between good and evil' is something that could be said about any society, anywhere in the world, at any period of history. It's called human nature, and it's comprised of both good and bad qualities.

The whingeing about how 'satan is winning' fails on two fronts: there's no more evidence for satan than there is for god. So what's going on? The real source of angst here is that CHRISTIANS are losing their hegemony as more people wake up and walk away from increasingly irrelevant religions.

Ten [or 9 maybe?] commandments displays are purely religious in origin, the fact they're commandments is designed to promote belief - the assertion is that they were written by god, and they presuppose that all students, teachers and staff of the targeted schools share the religious belief of such 'commandments.'

Finally, we can't overlook the obvious fact that many of these commandments fly in the face of the Bill of Rights, our constitutional 'Ten Commandments.' No other gods before me? 1st Amendment violation. Can't take the lord's name in vain? 1st Amendment violation. Keep the sabbath? Another 1st Amendment violation.

IMO, what we're seeing in all these christian nationalist efforts is blowback from people who can see their religion - and their power - slipping away. I hope this school district does the right thing, because I have no reason to believe the current supreme court would uphold the separation of church and state.

Expand full comment

"If we can save even one child from Satan’s grapes, it is worth every cent we spend on this donation, because God’s children are priceless."

Not for nothing, but "Satan's Grapes" is a great name for a rock band.

Expand full comment

Hey, I called dibs!

Expand full comment

You did, Sorry,

FWIW I assumed someone meant to type "Satan's grasp" and autocorrect stepped in.

Expand full comment

Better Satan’s grapes than God’s rapes.

Expand full comment

"He seriously argued that he’s not trying to gain support for Christianity; he just wants God to defeat Satan."

This is where I get more confused, not less. How is it that this guy's allegedly all-powerful, all-wise, all-knowing god can't help a student being confronted by this Satan character without these special rules in front of the building? Leaving aside the correctness issue that clearly exists in regard to this particular example, how all-powerful can a god be if he needs a big chunk of stone in front of the building before he can protect an innocent from a fictional character? For anyone that truly believes in said god, no fancy monument is needed; for anyone who doesn't no fancy monument will work.

Even though Dodge is apparently paying for this himself, he apparently needs to be reminded that schools are not churches, therefore it would be inappropriate to place objects of worship on their property. Religious instruction is available and free to anyone who seeks it here in the US pretty much without restriction; it is by no means necessary to add such to the primary school curriculum. With that said and in view of the number of issues various Christian churches have had in the after school area, the public is not regarding these Christian political activists with anywhere near enough suspicion.

Expand full comment

For all his hand-waving, all Dodge is really doing is the usual dance: virtue-signaling and territory-marking ... period.

Expand full comment

It certainly smells like Christian territory marking. Or is that cat pee? So hard to tell them apart...

Expand full comment

Are Satan’s grapes better than red seedless? Are they only available at certain times of the year? Would love to try them since I’m probably hell bound anyway. Might as well go the whole route.

Expand full comment

The Ten Commandments from Exodus 34 and called the Ten Commandments in Verse 28 (all numbers in Aramaic):

Khahz) You shall have no idols before me

Try-een) You shall celebrate the Festival of Unleavened Bread

Teh-lah-thah) The first offspring of every womb belongs to me

Ahr-bah-ah) On the seventh day you shall rest

Kah-mah-sha) You shall celebrate the Festival of Weeks

Eesh-tah) You shall celebrate the Festival of Ingathering

Sha-boh) Three times a year the men are to appear before me

T'mhan-oh) Do not offer the blood of a sacrifice to me with anything containing yeast

Teesh-rah) Bring the firstfruits of your soil to me

Ohs-rah) Do not cook a young goat in its mother's milk

Expand full comment

Number teh-lah-thah worries me. Didn't the Romans claim that the Carthagians sacrificed their children to Baal? What does YHVH want here? The same deal?

Expand full comment

Molech was more dramatic. What could be a more visually stimulating show than rolling babies down its flaming throat?

Expand full comment

The Lord Jealous doesn't seem to have any trouble sacrificing humans of all ages in staggering numbers. Look at the great flood alone.

Expand full comment

That explains Abraham trying to off Issac.

Expand full comment

"Three times a year the men are to appear before me"

The priests really caught onto that one.

Expand full comment

And what's with the yeast thing? Does the almighty deity of the bible have some sort of allergy?

Expand full comment

Yeast infections. That's why he kept going on about that burning bush.

Expand full comment

I think he doesn't like it when the blood from the roast beef soaks into the bread of his sandwich.

Expand full comment

That's like the original French Dip?

Can I call it Au Jew?

Expand full comment

Damn! You beat me to the French dip reference.

Expand full comment

In the only factually accurate gospel, 𝘓𝘢𝘮𝘣: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘎𝘰𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘭 𝘈𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘉𝘪𝘧𝘧, 𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵'𝘴 𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘗𝘢𝘭, there is a section where they travel to China. The monastery where they stay decides to create a martial art that has no punching or kicking due the Jesus's pacifism. In his honor they name it, Jew Do.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamb:_The_Gospel_According_to_Biff,_Christ%27s_Childhood_Pal

Expand full comment

He should switch to to au jus.

Expand full comment

As a 'first born,' I say NOPE!

Hail Satan!

Expand full comment

I am a Schrodinger born 😁

Expand full comment
May 24·edited May 24

I’m really surprised that the Christians in America don’t complain about all those places where a false set of 10 commandments is displayed. It’s almost as if they don’t know what their holy book actually calls the “Ten Commandments“.

ETA: Especially as it was this set that actually made it into the Ark of the Covenant.

Expand full comment

They don't strike one as a very inquisitive bunch. They seem content to be spoon-fed scripture by their local conman rather than read the bible themselves. Too bad. It would really open their eyes if they did.

Expand full comment

Remember the origins of the Ten Commandments displays in the USA, and they’d rather their scripture be fed to them by Hollywood movies than actually reading their holy book, and even the conman in a dog collar.

Expand full comment

We need to get this straightened out sooner rather than later. Summoning Charlton Heston.

Expand full comment

We need to remind these people that Satan can quote the bible too. We can call out Mr Dodge for his obvious attempt at using the 'word of God' to create discontent. 9 commandments? "BEGONE SATAN!"

Maybe if the infighting can get to the point where someone like Mr. Dodge gets accused of being a mouthpiece for the Devil, others will think twice before trying something similar.

Expand full comment

Interesting how he sat on the board for 32 years, yet only now that he's left does he try to do this. He clearly knows this is illegal and inappropriate otherwise he would've used his previous position and power to impose his will years ago.

Expand full comment

Maybe whoever was the most likely person on the board to tell him to FOAD also isn't on the board anymore either.

Expand full comment

Poor God, he just wants to be equal to the other Gods. He didn’t want to be behind. Sad. No other Gods in front. Very insecure.

Expand full comment