251 Comments

I grew up across the street from a Catholic church- and a fairly large one, at that. The bell tower made it the tallest building in that part of town, and I'm pretty sure it was the highest point by elevation because all the taller buildings were downhill from it, although I'd have to check a detailed survey map to be sure (and fuck that- this is just a throwaway anecdote, after all). The sound 𝘀𝘒𝘳𝘳π˜ͺ𝘦π˜₯, is what I'm saying. You could hear it to the edge of town, and while we weren't big enough to call ourselves a city, this was a 𝘣π˜ͺ𝘨 town. Big enough that, for most of its existence until very recently, it was actually 𝘡𝘸𝘰 towns.

You can imagine how loud that shit was from across the damn street.

They rang the bells every hour, on the hour, from 8 in the morning 'til 8 in the evening, and twice as long and loud at noon.

Now, this wasn't all that big of a problem on weekdays. Since school started at the ass-crack of dawn, and the first bells didn't ring until 8:00, us kids were drowsily ignoring the daily fascist flag fellation halfway across town in our first period classes while the local establishment of the Raping Children Cult was holding their first single-instrument concert of the day. Monday through Friday, we only had to listen to the evening performances, and that was bad enough. This being before the proliferation of DVR and streaming services, there was no pause button or closed captioning for the TV, so whatever program we were watching would just lose a minute or so of content every hour. Conversations routinely got suspended for the duration. Mixtapes had to be rewound so the song that got bell-ed over could be played again. You get the idea.

Weekends, however...

As a teenager, the most glorious thing in the world was surviving five whole days of high school hell and reaching the weekend... but thanks to Holy Motherfucking Church's need to remind everyone on the bloody planet of its existence multiple times a day, sleeping in on Saturday was a virtual impossibility. Not even with earplugs. π˜›π˜©π˜¦ 𝘧𝘢𝘀𝘬π˜ͺ𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘰𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘬. The sound bounced off the building next door and rattled the windows. The best we could manage was to wake up, blaspheme impotently out the window, and then try to go back to bed.

And, of course, it only 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 got worse on Sunday. Nothing says "keep the Sabbath day holy" like blowing out the eardrums of every heathen in the area code, right? Nevermind if there was a wedding or a funeral going on- and we could tell which it was without even looking. Five minutes of somber but obnoxious tolling, funeral. Ten to fifteen minutes of total cacophony involving every bell of every size they could fit in the damned belfry, wedding (I can only assume the duration was based on how much the happy couple left on the collection plate).

Life within a quarter mile of that church basically stopped every time they got their gong on.

So, good people of Minneapolis, I feel your pain.

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This may come as a surprise to some, because it has been obscured by the Deep State. There are these wonderful inventions called ALARM CLOCKS. They have been aroundfor nearly a century.

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Time for the Satanists to start cranking Black Sabbath at 3am.

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So I'm all for tolerance, while I'm awake. I turn quite irrational when I'm trying to sleep though. Honestly I think all the bells, calls, whatever should be muted. They served a purpose before everyone had clocks but this is 2023, if you want to be reminded you can be. Just you. The whole city isn't the same religion, it shouldn't all have to listen to a specific religions noise.

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One of the very last things any large city needs is more noise. One of the very last things the world needs is more religion. This was a terrible decision, and one they will soon come to regret.

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To the Muslim imams...

Volume will still not make your delusions any more real.

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Apr 21Β·edited Apr 21

Off-topic but something people may appreciate:

The TN Republican who led the effort to remove the two Dem representatives from the legislature for their 'inappropriate workplace' behavior has resigned. The TN legislature ethics panel found he had sexually harassed co-workers.

I'm shocked. Shocked!

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Some ideas for more inclusive neighborhoods.

Have separate sidewalks for men and women if there are haredis in Minneapolis.

Forbid meat in supermarkets if there are jains/hinduists/buddhists.

Allow human sacrifices for American Natives from Central and South America.

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I worked rotating shifts for many years. Excessive noise for any reason is a problem any time of day for many people. No city should be allowing more ways to disturb people, they should be prohibiting more of them. Get rid of the praying noise, then move on to getting rid of other obnoxious sources of noise. Start with the guy on my block with the leaf blower fetish.

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I can see this move backfiring big time. Instead of making Muslims feel included and part of the community, this can create an animosity that grows more violence and hatred. Not because Muslims are getting special treatment, I don’t think that is what is happening, but because people get cranky when they’re regularly woken too soon and abruptly. Tired folks are impatient and unfriendly. In neighborhoods where one neighbor insists on mowing too early on Saturday morning, that neighbor tends to be a pariah and subject to retaliation. That’s once a week, imagine that happening daily. Do you think the residents living near those mosques are going to be super happy about this? They should not be retaliating against the Muslims but they aren’t going to be as open or welcoming to folks interfering in their lives.

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β€œπ‘Šπ‘’ π‘€π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘π‘’π‘‘ π‘‘π‘œ π‘‘π‘œπ‘’π‘β„Ž π‘‘β„Žπ‘œπ‘ π‘’ π‘–π‘›π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘–π‘‘π‘’π‘Žπ‘™π‘  π‘€β„Žπ‘œ π‘“π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘žπ‘’π‘’π‘›π‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘–π‘  π‘šπ‘œπ‘ π‘žπ‘’π‘’ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘–π‘  π‘π‘œπ‘šπ‘šπ‘’π‘›π‘–π‘‘π‘¦...”

Terrific. Did you stop to consider that you're touching OTHER people as well, who have no interest in an Islamic call-to-prayer, who find it a nuisance if not disturbing, and who would just as soon it did NOT interrupt their routine, FIVE TIMES A DAY???

This is the kind of bending-over-backwards for religion that should NOT be sanctioned by any government, and yeah, I'm going to site State / Church separation AGAIN. The same function could be accomplished with a phone app which Muslims could download as easily as they have Cookie Crunch or The Weather Channel or whatever, WITHOUT having to indulge in a blatant exercise in literally disturbing the peace.

This is the brand of "woke" which deserves to be called on its stupidity.

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I'm okay with amplified. I'm okay with fewer minutes/event, more events/day. Can't really see a good justification for allowing any loud noise outside of the 7am-10pm window.

This includes nonreligious events too. U of Minn, if your football games go past 10pm AND the stadium PA system is reaching out to residential districts, then at 10pm lower the decibel level on your PA system.

The "motor vehicle" exception is for safety. Accident avoidance as well as emergency vehicle operation. This is not a secular "accommodation" to any group and so does not justify a religious accommodation. Unless those systems are being used to announce "fire at the church! Emergency at hte mosque, police get here and everyone else get the heck outta the building!" In which case yeah, you're good to go.

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Religion is why we can't have nice things.

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Cue the Zeroth Temple Of Malicious Compliance.....

Perhaps random poetry readings once per hour at random times, in silly voices.

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I would be tempted to get a class action lawsuit going to force the city to pay for soundproofing the homes of anyone who wants it.

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We Floriduhians were pissed at being woken up at 4:45 a.m. yesterday for a test of the Wireless Emergency Alert system. Can you imagine having something similar happen 365 days a year?

Btw, the company behind the test was fired.

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