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Joan the Dork's avatar

I grew up across the street from a Catholic church- and a fairly large one, at that. The bell tower made it the tallest building in that part of town, and I'm pretty sure it was the highest point by elevation because all the taller buildings were downhill from it, although I'd have to check a detailed survey map to be sure (and fuck that- this is just a throwaway anecdote, after all). The sound 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥, is what I'm saying. You could hear it to the edge of town, and while we weren't big enough to call ourselves a city, this was a 𝘣𝘪𝘨 town. Big enough that, for most of its existence until very recently, it was actually 𝘵𝘸𝘰 towns.

You can imagine how loud that shit was from across the damn street.

They rang the bells every hour, on the hour, from 8 in the morning 'til 8 in the evening, and twice as long and loud at noon.

Now, this wasn't all that big of a problem on weekdays. Since school started at the ass-crack of dawn, and the first bells didn't ring until 8:00, us kids were drowsily ignoring the daily fascist flag fellation halfway across town in our first period classes while the local establishment of the Raping Children Cult was holding their first single-instrument concert of the day. Monday through Friday, we only had to listen to the evening performances, and that was bad enough. This being before the proliferation of DVR and streaming services, there was no pause button or closed captioning for the TV, so whatever program we were watching would just lose a minute or so of content every hour. Conversations routinely got suspended for the duration. Mixtapes had to be rewound so the song that got bell-ed over could be played again. You get the idea.

Weekends, however...

As a teenager, the most glorious thing in the world was surviving five whole days of high school hell and reaching the weekend... but thanks to Holy Motherfucking Church's need to remind everyone on the bloody planet of its existence multiple times a day, sleeping in on Saturday was a virtual impossibility. Not even with earplugs. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘬. The sound bounced off the building next door and rattled the windows. The best we could manage was to wake up, blaspheme impotently out the window, and then try to go back to bed.

And, of course, it only 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 got worse on Sunday. Nothing says "keep the Sabbath day holy" like blowing out the eardrums of every heathen in the area code, right? Nevermind if there was a wedding or a funeral going on- and we could tell which it was without even looking. Five minutes of somber but obnoxious tolling, funeral. Ten to fifteen minutes of total cacophony involving every bell of every size they could fit in the damned belfry, wedding (I can only assume the duration was based on how much the happy couple left on the collection plate).

Life within a quarter mile of that church basically stopped every time they got their gong on.

So, good people of Minneapolis, I feel your pain.

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larry parker's avatar

I feel your pain. When I was in 6th, 7th and 8th grade, we lived across the street from a catholic church/school. Bells all the time. There was also an episcopalian church 1/2 a block away. They didn't ring theirs as often, but sometimes it was like dueling banjoes except with bells. The only worse bell was Mom's dinner bell. When she rang it, it meant get home NOW, whether it was dinner time or not. It was fine and useful when we lived out in the country, but a little embarrassing when everyone in the neighborhood knew that the Parker boys needed to go home.

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jomicur's avatar

There are three churches within a block of my residence, and another one three blocks away. Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings this neighborhood sounds like Quasimodo on speed.

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cdbunch's avatar

So used to religious privilege, it never even occurs to them that they're being selfish motherfuckers. That their neighbors may not be believers in their religion and don't appreciate your excessive noise anymore than they appreciate the car parked outside their house playing hip-hop with the bass cranked up to 40 on a scale of 10.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

There are 2 churches near where I live: One is a block east of me and the other is two blocks south. I never hear a peep out of either.

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Joan the Dork's avatar

I finally live in a place that's out of earshot from the nearest church, and I've never been happier with my geographical situation. The silence, especially on weekends, is just the most wonderful thing in the world.

I mean, there are plenty of 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 things to be miserable about, but at least religious noise and church traffic aren't among them anymore.

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jomicur's avatar

I'm pretty much used to the damn cacophony; I seldom even hear it anymore. It's regular, habitual, predictable. Muslim prayer calls are calculated by the movement of the sun, so they keep shifting. And both flavors of Islam use different formulas to calculate them. It's all quite insufferable.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

We live a block away from the Middle and High schools, including the athletics fields. Football, baseball, soccer, track and field and the marching band practice. We hear each sporting event, however they aren’t so loud to shake our walls (the National Guard helicopters and jets do).

The other night my daughter came home from school with a migraine that made her throw up a few times. There was a track meet going on while she was suffering in her room. She didn’t complain, the noise wasn’t very loud but it wasn’t quiet in her room as I know from experience she needs. But it ended early enough.

Had it been a mosque call to prayer or church bells, there would have been severe pain and discomfort and probably more vomiting. But, go on folks, your prayers do good things in your head. It is about more than just some folks getting enough sleep, it will affect health issues for millions of people. Not just migraine sufferers, either.

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cdbunch's avatar

Luckily, unlike my mother, I'm only light (and heat) sensitive during a migraine. I don't recall ever actually throwing up with one, though the one I had at Disney's Animal Kingdom in June 2001, I came real damn close when I hit the heat and humidity coming out of the Rainforest Cafe. And then I had to navigate the bus system (it was our first day there) to get back to the cabin, so I could take some ibuprofen (Tylenol, which is all you can buy in the park, might as well be sugarless sugar pills)and crash.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

She is having the ones with the aura in her vision, like mine still do. As a teen I would frequently get sick, then I would also have numbness and tingling in my face and arm, which hasn’t happened in many years now. She did not experience that with this or her first migraine. I’m very sad that she is looking forward to a lifetime of migraines though, I was hoping they would skip her.

I also recently experienced a cluster of migraines, possibly triggered by the erratic weather and possibly my now erratic menstrual cycle. Which is likely the same thing that triggered hers, but the opposite end.

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cdbunch's avatar

They hit the women in my family harder than the men (thank you, Eve). I haven't had one in a while (knock on fucking wood), but I have to take something early in nearly any headache or it will advance to that burning live-wire from just above the eye-socket to the back of my skull. It pulses with every heartbeat, so bad you actually start wishing it would skip a dozen beats just to get some relief from the pain. At that point the only thing you want is a nap in a dark meatlocker.

Luckily, so far, they've gotten less frequent as I got older (probably because my Testosterone dropped through the floor)

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

Hormones are a bitch. Mine are becoming less frequent as well as less intense (or really fewer symptoms) as I age.

I have found that I feel worse if I take most migraine medication or even whatever pain pills. I had a prescription for a time for caffergot (sp?) which was described as essentially a caffeine pill, that was occasionally effective if taken at the very first sign. Sometimes I can down a coke before it gets too bad and it helps, but it also can make it worse. So I generally just grit my teeth (involuntarily) and rest through it.

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Guerillasurgeon's avatar

My wife's migraines stopped when she had her hysterectomy. Although that is probably a bit extreme – I don't know. I've come across one or 2 people who probably would have called it a bargain.

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cdbunch's avatar

So far I do pretty good with ibuprofen, but I worry because my mother became allergic to NSAIDs in her 50s.

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XJC's avatar

"your prayers do good things in your head..." That's funny.

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Ben J's avatar

This may come as a surprise to some, because it has been obscured by the Deep State. There are these wonderful inventions called ALARM CLOCKS. They have been aroundfor nearly a century.

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oraxx's avatar

Not to mention smart phones and group texts.

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Ben J's avatar

You young people with your smart phones and such. Get off my lawn.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

DM will be happy to learn she is young 😁

*Written on DM' smartphone*

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Grant Jackson's avatar

GUN EM DOWN BENNNN. They deserve it. sarc

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Ben J's avatar

I have never been known To gun down anyone without provocation.

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Grant Jackson's avatar

You're SOOOOO old fashioned Ben. How old are you-100 or something like that? :-)

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Ben J's avatar

😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

That's only for major offences, like knocking on your door, or letting your ball go into someone's yard.

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Grant Jackson's avatar

Even with me-an old man-I never stand in front of the door that I am knocking on-or the doorbell that I am ringing. I always stand back and to the side. I've seen too many tv cop shows. A door is a dangerous thing.

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cdbunch's avatar

19. 3am. Car breaks down 8 miles from my hometown. Pre-cellphone.

When the dog started barking, I stopped and stood and waited for the guy to come out to shut up the dog.

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

I don't answer the door if I look through the peephole and don't see anyone.

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Grant Jackson's avatar

Yeah-but look you dummy!! If they are a century old how many of them work???? Ya gotta think before you post on here Ben!! :-)

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MichaelL65's avatar

Haha! I posted a comment basically saying the same thing before I saw this comment!

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Lynn James's avatar

Alarm clocks? You don't say! What will they think of next?

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Ben J's avatar

Doorbells. They are the latest innovation. I'm putting all my investment money there.

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larry parker's avatar

Time for the Satanists to start cranking Black Sabbath at 3am.

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RegularJoe's avatar

Tiny Tim's Tiptoe Through The Tulips....😉

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Anything by Slim Whitman. Maybe it'll have the same effect on the religious that it had on the Martians.

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RegularJoe's avatar

*Everything* by Slim Whitman. 😁

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jomicur's avatar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTe0MjAZvMU Almost enough for me to forgive Burton for what he did to SWEENEY TODD.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

I will never forgive him for his version of "Planet of the Apes."

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cdbunch's avatar

I think Beetlejuice was the only thing I've seen by Mr. Burton that I liked. I'm glad I don't live in his head.

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jomicur's avatar

If you lived in his head, where would that leave room for all the maggots?

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jomicur's avatar

He admits he doesn't know anything about how to tell a story. Basically, he's a good production designer masquerading as a director.

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Every so often, the comic strip 𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘓𝘪𝘭 does a week of earworms.

https://www.gocomics.com/diamondlil/2023/04/21

If you want to start at the beginning:

https://www.gocomics.com/diamondlil/2023/04/17

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NOGODZ20's avatar

There was a story about the boats of the "It's a Small World After All" ride breaking down, stranding passengers inside. What did NOT break down was the sound system. That song played endlessly.

You can imagine how THAT went over.

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Donrox's avatar

When my daughter was little we took her to Disneyland. She was so terrified of "it's a Small World" she buried her face in my chest and sobbed. Hellish, even without a break down!

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NOGODZ20's avatar

And that attraction is considered a "gentle ride." Little did the Disney Imagineers dream...

Hope you didn't take her on Space Mountain. You'd have traumatized her for life. :)

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

"If you want to start at the beginning:"

♪A very good place to start♪

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NoOne of Consequence's avatar

No, too many people would enjoy that, I would like to suggest they use the brutal death metal band Deicide. I'm a big death metal fan and even I don't want to listen to them suddenly in the middle of the night. :D

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wreck's avatar

Captain & Tennille. Muskrat Love. BWAAHAHAHAHA.

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cdbunch's avatar

You are one evil MoFo. I suggest Afternoon Delight.

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larry parker's avatar

Suzie and Sam are very disappointed, no cheese and bacon for you.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

"Cotton Eye Joe" by the Rednex.

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cdbunch's avatar

Die in a fire.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

See how effective it is?

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cdbunch's avatar

Peaches by the American Presidents.

Even more annoying than Amy Winehouse's ode to addiction.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Winterborn*, there is no better band to spoil the ambiance and I am talking from experience.

*2nd act before the main. The only concert I went to where even the first and second rows waited for them to get the fuck off.

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

If you want to be sadistic, go with 𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘬.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Not sadistic, but how about "The Hamster Dance Song?"

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NoOne of Consequence's avatar

So I'm all for tolerance, while I'm awake. I turn quite irrational when I'm trying to sleep though. Honestly I think all the bells, calls, whatever should be muted. They served a purpose before everyone had clocks but this is 2023, if you want to be reminded you can be. Just you. The whole city isn't the same religion, it shouldn't all have to listen to a specific religions noise.

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MalibuMan's avatar

Nothing worse than noisy neighbors or anything loud while trying to sleep. I never bother anyone and simply want the same courtesy.

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oraxx's avatar

One of the very last things any large city needs is more noise. One of the very last things the world needs is more religion. This was a terrible decision, and one they will soon come to regret.

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XJC's avatar

Ilhan Omar is OFFENDED.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

To the Muslim imams...

Volume will still not make your delusions any more real.

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ericc's avatar

Off-topic but something people may appreciate:

The TN Republican who led the effort to remove the two Dem representatives from the legislature for their 'inappropriate workplace' behavior has resigned. The TN legislature ethics panel found he had sexually harassed co-workers.

I'm shocked. Shocked!

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jomicur's avatar

And the object of his unwanted advances was a MALE college intern. Reportedly the rest of the GOP leadership had been aware of the allegations for some time but kept silent till after he got Pearson and Jones expelled because, you know, they believe in biblical morality. I'll bet you're even more shocked now, huh?

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cdbunch's avatar

Really, that's not my "same song, different chorus" face, that's my shocked face, I swear to God. 😈

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Marie -José Renaud's avatar

But not THAT shocked, though?

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Joan the Dork's avatar

Elsewhere in politics... yep, Republicans are just hypocrites everywhere: https://apnews.com/article/transgender-lawmaker-silenced-montana-censure-ee3e30ee6a1cd7c0faa8fd072d580a94

State Rep. Zooey Zephyr, one of the damned few trans people to hold a seat in any government body anywhere, has been banned from speaking until she apologizes for telling GQP colleagues that they have blood on their hands. Which, y'know, they do. Meanwhile, those same GQP bigots made official statements misgendering her while calling for her censure, and you'll 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 guess what kind of consequences they're facing for it.

No, really, you'll never guess. Because they aren't facing any.

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cdbunch's avatar

Of course not, they outnumber her, and she told them a truth they didn't want to hear. A truth that should be screamed at them every time they leave their beds. A truth that should haunt them in their dreams. But they revel in the blood. They enjoy pushing trans kids to suicide. Their only regret is that not all of them will.

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Joan the Dork's avatar

I am honestly in total awe of her fortitude... if I had to face half of what she's put up with- and that's not even taking into account the hatemail she's dead certain to have been getting since she announced her candidacy- I'd be curled up under my desk in the fetal position with a sippy-cup of Everclear by now.

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cdbunch's avatar

How about she brand it into their foreheads with a rusty hanger and then apologize.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Rethuglikkkans actually practicing the very cancel culture they hypocritically falsely accuse others of doing.

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Guerillasurgeon's avatar

'twas ever thus.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Some ideas for more inclusive neighborhoods.

Have separate sidewalks for men and women if there are haredis in Minneapolis.

Forbid meat in supermarkets if there are jains/hinduists/buddhists.

Allow human sacrifices for American Natives from Central and South America.

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wreck's avatar

I worked rotating shifts for many years. Excessive noise for any reason is a problem any time of day for many people. No city should be allowing more ways to disturb people, they should be prohibiting more of them. Get rid of the praying noise, then move on to getting rid of other obnoxious sources of noise. Start with the guy on my block with the leaf blower fetish.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

I can see this move backfiring big time. Instead of making Muslims feel included and part of the community, this can create an animosity that grows more violence and hatred. Not because Muslims are getting special treatment, I don’t think that is what is happening, but because people get cranky when they’re regularly woken too soon and abruptly. Tired folks are impatient and unfriendly. In neighborhoods where one neighbor insists on mowing too early on Saturday morning, that neighbor tends to be a pariah and subject to retaliation. That’s once a week, imagine that happening daily. Do you think the residents living near those mosques are going to be super happy about this? They should not be retaliating against the Muslims but they aren’t going to be as open or welcoming to folks interfering in their lives.

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Joe King's avatar

I wonder if this is why the city council vote was unanimous. The Christian Nationalists on the council could be 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 the backlash, with violence too, in order to try and drive the Muslim population out.

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NoOne of Consequence's avatar

Ugh, that sounds bleak enough to be real. I sure hope not though.

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Lynn James's avatar

My hope as well, but I'm afraid Joe King is onto something. The same thought crossed my mind when I read the part about the unanimous vote.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

“𝑊𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑜𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑑𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑞𝑢𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑡𝑦...”

Terrific. Did you stop to consider that you're touching OTHER people as well, who have no interest in an Islamic call-to-prayer, who find it a nuisance if not disturbing, and who would just as soon it did NOT interrupt their routine, FIVE TIMES A DAY???

This is the kind of bending-over-backwards for religion that should NOT be sanctioned by any government, and yeah, I'm going to site State / Church separation AGAIN. The same function could be accomplished with a phone app which Muslims could download as easily as they have Cookie Crunch or The Weather Channel or whatever, WITHOUT having to indulge in a blatant exercise in literally disturbing the peace.

This is the brand of "woke" which deserves to be called on its stupidity.

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ericc's avatar

I'm okay with amplified. I'm okay with fewer minutes/event, more events/day. Can't really see a good justification for allowing any loud noise outside of the 7am-10pm window.

This includes nonreligious events too. U of Minn, if your football games go past 10pm AND the stadium PA system is reaching out to residential districts, then at 10pm lower the decibel level on your PA system.

The "motor vehicle" exception is for safety. Accident avoidance as well as emergency vehicle operation. This is not a secular "accommodation" to any group and so does not justify a religious accommodation. Unless those systems are being used to announce "fire at the church! Emergency at hte mosque, police get here and everyone else get the heck outta the building!" In which case yeah, you're good to go.

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Boreal's avatar

Religion is why we can't have nice things.

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NoOne of Consequence's avatar

Well, the Bible got one thing right: humans are why we can't have nice things. Of course it's all humans not just ladies and we're also the reason we have so many nice things in the first place. Huh. Right, more coffee, less weed and I'll have this sorted out later. ;)

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Len Koz's avatar

Or less coffee, more weed, and go back to bed.

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Lynn James's avatar

Religion, like war, is not healthy for children and other living things.

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RegularJoe's avatar

Cue the Zeroth Temple Of Malicious Compliance.....

Perhaps random poetry readings once per hour at random times, in silly voices.

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

I would be tempted to get a class action lawsuit going to force the city to pay for soundproofing the homes of anyone who wants it.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Triple (layers ?) windows are not cheap.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

Triple pane glass, but layers was understandable. And no, they are not cheap.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Thank you. I auto translated from "Fenêtres à 3 épaisseurs".

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

I’m happy to help, and I don’t want to seem picky or anything.

At my job, we export to Canada (but no other country outside the USA and territories) and sometimes get purchase orders in French. I’m not fluent, I’m mostly “I remember a few phrases and a couple curse words from school” so I must rely on the translation tools on the computer to figure out the orders. Earlier this week I had one that the purchaser wasn’t responding to our inquiries until I composed my email in English and then provide a translation in French. My coworker loves to take all the French orders but doesn’t understand any of it, she doesn’t look too hard for the English translations that are included on them and never tries to have the computer translate for her either. For some reason she thinks I am good at French, so I end up doing a lot of the work for her. It is helping me learn a little but not enough for me to become proficient.

You do a great job communicating in a foreign language, I rarely have trouble understanding you. I am always impressed by folks who speak many languages, I wish I could do more than pick up a few phrases here and there.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

I am good in Astronomy, Biology, History, Anthropology, Litterature. Average in American slang. Disastrous in cooking and nearly everything about everyday life.

Feel free to ask me when you want to know about French.

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

" Disastrous in cooking"

And you're French?

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

That's the point. Muahahahahahahaha!!!!

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

We Floriduhians were pissed at being woken up at 4:45 a.m. yesterday for a test of the Wireless Emergency Alert system. Can you imagine having something similar happen 365 days a year?

Btw, the company behind the test was fired.

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