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ericc's avatar

𝐼𝑜𝑤𝑎 𝑅𝑒𝑝𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑠 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎 𝑙𝑎𝑤 (𝑆𝐹 2368) 𝑟𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑙 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑣𝑎𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑏𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑟.

Uh huh. And the first time the highest bidder is a porn shop or SSM adoption agency, they'll come up with some excuse about how that's different. All bidders are equal, but conservative christian bidders are more equal than others.

'Highest bidder' (or equivalently, 'lowest cost' for a service) is short-sighted anyway. The federal government figured out years ago how easy it is for bad actors to game that, so most agency contracts now work on 'best value' or something like that.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

Yet one more bit of evidence that the Republican party is colluding with religious organizations to subvert our democracy.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

one more 'obvious" one, that they are so arrogant, they don't bother to hide.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

"So it makes a lot of sense for a public school board, whose primary obligation is to serve families receiving a public education, to reject a bid from a Christian school that would inevitably make life worse for public school students."

That's how all school boards should act by keeping their jobs and their religions, when they have one, separate.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

“𝐿𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟, 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑠 𝑜𝑓 $1.5 𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝑓𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑢𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 196 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼𝑠𝑎𝑎𝑐 𝑁𝑒𝑤𝑡𝑜𝑛 𝐶ℎ𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑎𝑛 𝐴𝑐𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑚𝑦,” 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝐻𝑜𝑔𝑎𝑛. “𝐶𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑦, 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑑𝑜𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑒.”

BOOM. I would call that plenty of motivation to reject the sale of the building to what amounts to the competition. It's bad enough that school vouchers drain the coffers of public schools and make their jobs more difficult. Selling brick-and-mortar to church-based schools is all the more egregious.

And once again, I'm reminded of a quote which, in this circumstance, is more than appropriate:

𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑, 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑖𝑡𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓; 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑖𝑡𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐺𝑜𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑖𝑡, 𝑠𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑓𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑔𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑝 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑙 𝑝𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟, '𝑡𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑠𝑖𝑔𝑛, 𝐼 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑟𝑒ℎ𝑒𝑛𝑑, 𝑜𝑓 𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑜𝑛𝑒.

-- Benjamin Franklin

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NOGODZ20's avatar

They named a Christian academy after a man who was a heretic. He didn't believe in the three-in-one god (despite being born into an Anglican family and becoming a Fellow in Trinity College, Cambridge), denied Jesus' divinity, rejected the idea of an immortal soul and dabbled in the occult. Before he died, he refused Anglican Last Rites.

Christians can sure pick 'em.

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larry parker's avatar

What year do they cover alchemy?

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ericc's avatar

Year? It's every Sunday. The prosperity gospel is the exact same con most alchemists ran. 'You give us your money, Jesus will return it to you threefold' is functionally equivalent to "you give me your gold, my alchemy will multiply it n-fold."

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

Zero is a possible value for n.

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

Same year as Potions, but before Defense Against the Dark Arts.

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cdbunch's avatar

Alchemy hasn't been offered as an elective at Hogwarts since Nicholas turned all the school's copper into aluminum.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

They are trying to rebrand him, rewrite his history, convince people he was a good Christian so they can use their "Appeal to Authority" fallacy more effectively.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Indeed. Too bad for them that no amount of xtian hocus pocus will alter the facts.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Honey, they don't do "Facts!"

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I have been in the south too long "honey" is not usually a part of my vocabulary, apologies!

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Not offended in the slightest. :)

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Or empathy. Or simple decency.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I never remember to scroll down, you said it better!

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XJC's avatar
Jul 3Edited

Kinda like Trump. He dabbled in autocracy and grabs em by the pussy when he pleases, but he's the unanimous choice of the Real Christians (TM).

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Fanatigelical xtians kept blabbing on and on about "The Antichrist." Then when the Apricot Antichrist came along, they embraced him as the risen messiah.

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ericc's avatar

That's...actually consistent with Revelations. It's just that the antagonists have mistaken themselves for protagonists. :) Could the "mark of the beast" so happily adopted by the fallen one's followers be a red MAGA hat?

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NOGODZ20's avatar

I figured that whoever wrote Revelation was

a) High on the substances of the time

b) Saw everything in a nightmare

c) Ill due to chronic malnutrition and had a fever dream/hallucination

d) Having a giggle and pranking the rubes

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ericc's avatar

I view it like Dante's Inferno. The author is using a fake dystopian setting to point out the corruption of the powerful people of his time, in a way that won't get him executed. An oldie but goodie. Roddenberry was a modern practitioner (though he used utopianism as much as dystopianism)

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

It was said to be "John's fever-dream" and many felt it didn't belong in the finshed collection, but the less learned among them wanted it, and won the argument.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

"And they shall wear the 'mark of the beast' on their foreheads".

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

It's in their damn book even!

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

It's not like they read actual, factual, history! they just retcon and lie, HE WAS THE BEST XTIAN EVER!

next up: Voltaire and Oscar Wilde christian Academies!

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Followed by Darwin and the Leakey* family christian Academies.

* The Curie for paleoanthropology.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I love the Leakey family, and have followed their Homonid findings since “Lucy”.

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Joe King's avatar

The school district says 196 students are now at the Jesus school. The Jesus school says "closer to 40" with no specific number. Who is probably lying? The public school whose accountants keep close track of that sort of thing or the Jesus school whose motive is to undermine the public school and lie to children about science and history? Three guesses and the first two don't count.

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

40 students at a K-12 school is 3 students per grade. I'm guessing some biblical math is involved.

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ericc's avatar

They count minority students as 3/5 of a student, and female students not at all. As Jesus intended.

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

Like they would actually admit minorities.

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Bensnewlogin's avatar

Loaves a d fishes.

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Holytape's avatar

I read that as the Jesus school already had one campus, and the elementary school was going to be an additional school. If both were operational, then it would be 246 students in total.

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Whitney's avatar

It does make one wonder why they wanted to buy the space, doesn't it? If they only have 40ish students, their current facility should be more than plenty, so why would they put in an apparently extravagant bid on real estate they don't need?

At a guess, not only are these people from the Academy lying, they're insulting the intelligence of the board members as well. I wouldn't sell to them either at that point.

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Excellent point.

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RegularJoe's avatar

Living in the community - and having friends on that school board (I live in an adjacent district) - I'm glad they made the choice that they did. Some of the cultists are whining, which makes me happy. :-)

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Joe King's avatar

Ask those cultists this: if they owned, say, a hardware store and relocated to the other side of town, would they sell their old location to an auto parts store for 100,000 or a competing hardware store for 125,000? Especially if that competing hardware store has pledged to sell everything cheaper? When they respond with "that's different", ask how it's different and point out the special pleading.

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RegularJoe's avatar

Somehow Jesus makes everything that they do legit....he wrote the Constitution, after all.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Buy them a drink for us, please!

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Old Man Shadow's avatar

Iowa Republicans want to kill public education and keep children stupid and brainwashed.

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Joe King's avatar

And Illinois Republicans, and Indiana Republicans, and Nebraska Republicans....

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Don't forget Floriduh.

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Timothy Fifer's avatar

Thank god someone in Iowa sees the big picture and has the common sense to do what needs to be done to preserve public education. It’s not religious persecution but a smart “business decision”. Republicans should under that, right?

I also keep thinking about the concept of the “common good”. When $ are funneled from public education to a select few students in the name of “choice “ it harms the benefit public education provides to the society as a whole. That’s called supporting education for the common good of all of us. The fact that many people that send their children to a private religious school would be able to do it without public money vouchers. That seems to go against one of the arguments republicans offer as a support for voucher system. Our family was able to send our kids to a catholic school and never would think about taking tax dollars as compensation. Our daughter is a public school teacher so we see the result of that misguided policy.

As a person who still has family in Iowa I hope people there still have the wisdom to make those kinds of decisions.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

The free market works when they want it to work, regulation is necessary only when it benefits their agenda.

The private schools are actively raising tuition when the vouchers are provided. Meaning, the students who attend are those that can afford it without the vouchers, and the schools can keep their elite selections even with government aid for those who couldn't pay without the vouchers. So, any student who accepts the vouchers so they can attend the private school will still not be able to pay for it because of the tuition increases. The tuition was a filter to begin with, and it is still effective.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Yep, it is a scam to gut public education, and milk the tax-payers, who get nothing for the money, not even future employable young people.

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cdbunch's avatar

The common good is a commie plot to destroy the free market that makes America 'the greatest country on Earth'.

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Timothy Fifer's avatar

Wow, so much to unpack here.

1) so how is your personal wealth? Does your situation allow you to not give a shit about every one else who needs help?

2). Do you really feel that raising others up that need assistance is a bad thing?

3). Is providing a quality education that allows all children to succeed not as important as giving that advantage to a chosen few.

The “common good” is what keeps our country strong for everyone and not the elite you seem to represent. If you want to live in a place where the few prosper at the expense of the many honest up your little kingdom in “Outer Mongolia”. Don’t think you’ll have many takers.

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

You have cdbunch wrong. Read the rest of his comments on this comments page.

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Hank Long's avatar

Isaac Newton Christian Academy? Makes about as much sense as Jesus Christ Research Center. Probably less,

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ericc's avatar

It's an obvious dig for "all the best science/scientists were devout Christians." But what the private school probably wouldn't tell it's kids is that Newton was an Arian who rejected their (the school's, the kid's, their parent's) belief in the trinity.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

I think Eratosthenes, Democritus, Archimedes and Hero of Alexandria will beg to differ.

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ericc's avatar

As would Marie and Pierre Curie. Etc., etc., etc....

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

From their website:

"We believe that a coherent Biblical worldview gives meaning to everything that we learn and prepares us to be people of integrity."

No such thing as a coherent biblical worldview.

"We use four types of processing activities to promote a Biblical worldview in our students.

Correlation. We incorporate the Bible into every subject, giving connection to everything that is learned.

Correction. We use the Bible as our source of evaluation of all that is learned and our standard correction of error when it is needed.

Continued study. We recognize that there is more to know and study, and we devise a plan to investigate it.

Assessment. We demonstrate the ability to use new learning in life for effective living. This turns the acquisition of knowledge into wisdom."

Correlation: How do they work the bible into grammar, math, and geometry?

Correction: How is the bible used to evaluate grammar, math, and geometry?

Continued study: We plan to investigate, but also plan to reject it when it doesn't conform to our views.

Assessment: If you think the bible gives a coherent worldview, you aren't equipped to assess anything.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

"How is the bible used to evaluate grammar"

"The wages of sin is death."

The bible has perfect grammar, as all translated texts are known for.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Their grammar are terrible.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Wat iz gramare ?

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

You guys, the thing is...

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larry parker's avatar

There.

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Maltnothops's avatar

She okay for an old lady.

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

Perfectly cromulent.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

So coherent it needs 900 different translations of the same book. And that's just the number of English language bibles.

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

None of the other languages matter anyway.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

BuyBull wuz writ in 'Murican, dammit!

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RegularJoe's avatar

That whole π = 3 thing sure makes math easier.....although we're fucked when it comes to engineering.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

Don't worry about it. God is the best intelligent designer, either he will make it work or you're a dirty atheist who's bound for hell.

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cdbunch's avatar

https://www.sunnyskyz.com/funny-jokes/17/An-Engineer-accidentally-goes-to-Hell-instead-of-Heaven

An Engineer dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly.

The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily.

The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high def channels.

One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what's going on?

The Devil replies, "Things are great down here since you sent us that engineer."

"What?? An engineer? I didn't send you one of those, that must have been a mistake. Send him back up right this minute."

The Devil responds, "No way! We are going to keep our engineer. We like this guy."

God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!"

The Devil laughs. "Where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

All engineers go to heaven?

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cdbunch's avatar

No. They go where the dogs went.

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Maltnothops's avatar

Well, they do tend to see Intelligent Design.

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oraxx's avatar

A big part of why private schools appear to perform better is the fact they're free to choose who is allowed to attend, while public schools are obligated to take everyone. In any event, a lot of these so-called Christian academies are far more focused on religious indoctrination than genuine education.

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Maltnothops's avatar

I happen to know a local asshole who sent all his kids to Catholic schools and would loudly proclaim how much better they were than public schools. Then his youngest turned out to have some severe learning disabilities. He actually said in a public forum that the Catholic school told him they couldn’t deal with daughter and that’s why he sent her to the public school.

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oraxx's avatar

That's how it works. They look better because they control who is allowed to attend.

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cdbunch's avatar

But vouchers are about "school choice" not "defunding public education". That's a liberal "fascist" lie to take away parental rights. /s

One: If you believe that, I have Ocean Front property an hour from Las Vegas for sale, only $150,000

Two: Children have rights (including the right to a quality education, not religious indoctrination). Parents have responsibilities (including insuring their children have a quality education with a diverse student body)

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

American, Canadian or Australian ?

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cdbunch's avatar

'Murican of course. I need a 3 GPU render node and a Blazer EV, as well as a couple of credit cards paid off. (Houses are expensive)

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Kay-El's avatar

I’m happy to hear that the arts program won out. Especially in light of Florida’s dismal move: “DeSantis vetoed $34 million dollars in state funding for arts and culture across the state of Florida”.

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Bagen Onuts's avatar

Religion, supertition and delusion. The 3 uns.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

They're an institution of destruction. 2 more uns.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

De Santis is piece of shit.

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Kay-El's avatar

🎯

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

Repubelicans notice there are ways to get around their attacks, create laws to force schools to undercut their interests.

Seriously, they are so obvious with their cruelty and cheating.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Which is worrisome they don't get smacked down so hard, they know better than to try again for a generation.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

That's because they've been so successful at cheating in their elections and other arenas, that they feel confident they can cheat even more.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Sadly true.

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Maltnothops's avatar

Also, while they aren’t perfect, they are Forgiven.

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Holytape's avatar

So if the general math holds up, if only 20 students left for the new school, the effective price the Christian academy offered would be 125,000. If all forty students came from the district the effective price to the district would be negative 125,000 dollars.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

OT

COMING SOON. I know we just had an article about PureShit's latest God, How I Wish These Movies Would Die floparoo. Well, get ready for a whole new level of badness. July 17th sees the release of "Disciples in the Darkness." I refuse to post trailers and give them clicks, so here's what this feculence is all about:

"In the not-too-distant-future, the United States has banned the Bible for its "offensiveness" and replaced it with a government-approved version. A small group of Christians are recruited to smuggle God's Word to underground churches throughout the Midwest."

I'm not kidding. This isn't satire. It's a genuine hardcore paranoid persecution fantasy. I hope Hemant does an article on this...thing.

(When they started that synopsis with "In the not-too-distant future..." the first thing I thought was "Next Sunday A.D.")

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Daniel Rotter's avatar

Give me a friggin' break. These people need professional help.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Reality check, xtians...

You have the dominant religion in this country. You have megachurches.The halls of power are filled to overflowing with Christians. Your churches rake in billions. You get nearly everything you ask for, including taxpayer dollars while Christian institution pay ZERO taxes.

What alternate reality planet does this movie of yours take place on and which of 900 different bibles was banned?

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Lynn Veit's avatar

But-but-but... there's all these here woke liberals saying we can't execute trans people like our god sez. PERSECUTION! An' it's only getting worse.

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Daniel Rotter's avatar

No country privileges Christianity more than America. It's not even close.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Iran, Saudi Arabia, Nigeria, Uganda...

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Daniel Rotter's avatar

Fair point. I edited my comment.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

And how!

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Guerillasurgeon's avatar

Bible smuggling is one of those convenient ways for mega church leaders to make money isn't it? We put them on helium balloons and send them to New York/China/Russia/North Korea. And then all of a sudden, somebody sabotages them and they need even more money. Jesus, there ain't nothing new is there?

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Lynn Veit's avatar

I've been hearing about persecution my entire life. They have always done this shit, just not as loudly and obnoxiously as they do now.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

It's such bullshit. Christians in the US have no idea what real persecution looks and feels like.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

And the choir sings “Ahhhhhhh-men!”

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Maltnothops's avatar

Hmm, what would be the offensive parts that Christians would insist be included? The part where God kills almost the entire human race? The part where God tells a man to kill his son as a sacrifice? The part where daughters fuck their father? I could go on but we all know all of it.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

It vaguely reminds me of something similar but I can't recall where I read about it (it could have been as far as patheticos).

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Christians ripping off Christians? Heaven forefend!

This buzzard vomit will be in and out of theaters in one day.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Very vaguely, it's about the bible being banned from somewhere (schools ?) and the fight of the valiant (homeschooled ?) christians to control public school. Or something like that, like I said it's blurry.

I am not even sure if it's a movie or a book, if the latter, I probably read about it on "Love, joy, feminism".

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Sounds like a Pure Flix thing. :)

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Maybe, Libby Anne used to review christian books with her community. There was about a 19th century farm, even me who only know farm life through DM's memories could point out several problems, starting with the allegation the "writer" grew up on a farm.

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Bagen Onuts's avatar

Project 2025 will render this a comedy?

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