293 Comments

Congratulations Australia, you won today's round of Batshit Nuttery, but we'll be back tomorrow.

Signed, the USA.

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It's early yet in the USA. The west coast is only half-awake right now. Don't count us out.

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“The west coast is only half-awake right now.”

So, business as usual then.

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Australia ... the home of Ham and banana man. What makes you people think they are 'catching up'.🥴

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Nice try but it doesn't take much googling to confirm that Ray comes from your neck of the woods.

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Beat me to it as I was typing it.

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I clicked through to Living Water's site. He has a claim that he shared the "gospel" with an "atheist" who was trying to play an April Fool's joke on him, and is like "how wonderful it would be if he came to Christ"

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He's already proven what a fool he is. The banana bit was the capper.

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Banana Man is one of yours. From the land of the All Blacks.

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Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023

"Dammit I did not know that."

That's OK. We never let Canadians forget that Ted Cruz came from the Great White North. :)

"Tucker Carlson fired." Are there sweeter words in the English language?

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Not many. Jones dies destitute in a ditch?

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"Trump drops dead on golf course?"

"Fox News collapses into ruin?"

"De Santis eaten by alligators at Disney World."

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It's already tomorrow in Australia, or maybe yesterday. Which way does the world spin again? (The midwest is only half-awake, too. : )

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I just checked. The west coast of Australia is 14 hours ahead of us and they have a little over an hour left in today.

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Why would a disc spin?

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The turtle is dizzy.

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If the disc doesn't spin, the music won't play.

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But if it does, it's easier to push stuff off the edge.

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Silly question. This flat disc doesn't spin at all. It would abrade the turtle's shell.

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Exactly. The elephants stroll. 😉

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Because Nogodz isn't here yet? 😜

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It was 7:30 AM PDT when I made that comment. I'm not even sure he was awake yet.

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Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023

NoGodz has been here for over 2 hours now as of this typing. :)

Ya gotta read the comments first.

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Reading is for little people.

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I'm 5'6" :)

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Pfff. 5'6" is tall 😝

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Pentecostals: Hold my snake.

Heh, that sounds dirtier than I intended, but hey.

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I will respect anyone's right to hold whatever beliefs they may have. I refuse to respect the actual beliefs. When those beliefs are 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 people, those beliefs only merit horrified contempt.

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"All the charges were inexplicably dropped by the Victorian Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) last year."

I can explain: Christian Fucking Privilege.

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How much do you want to bet the DPP has friends in the church or is a general issue Christian zealot?

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Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023

OT- Fucker Carlson will no longer be the most-watched Nazi on television!

https://apnews.com/article/tucker-carlson-out-fox-news-58a8421c55978f223b9c4b1d1cbe50be

*𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘭𝘦, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘈𝘗 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺: https://www.reuters.com/business/media-telecom/fox-news-media-tucker-carlson-part-ways-2023-04-24/

TV's most popular fascist, best known for JAQing off while wearing what can only be described as perpetual constipation face, had his show stealthily cancelled over the weekend. The announcement of his departure from Fox dropped today, whereas he hosted his last show on Friday. It isn't clear whether or not the shitcanning has anything to do with Fox's recent $787 million pratfall, but the timing 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 more than coincidental.

Sadly, it's not as funny as the time Jon Stewart tongue-lashed him so hard he never wore a bowtie again... but fuck it, I'll take what I can get at this point. It'd be stupid to hold out hope that Fox will replace him with anyone even marginally less awful, but I can't help celebrating that bloviating blowhard getting at least a 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 bit of comeuppance.

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He wants to spend more time with his family. His family objects.

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Maybe he found Bill O'Really's loofah.

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Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023

I had almost forgotten about that. Thanks /s.

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I aim to please. Just like Billo.

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Some of us will never forget how Bill OhReally twisted loofah into falafel.

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KANCEL KULTURE!!!1

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It's the weirdest stripper name I ever saw.

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Probably looks like me. And trust me, no one needs to see that much jiggle.

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Name, not male. I didn't see the typo.

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Carlson's view on the Jan. 6 attempted insurrection:

https://www.gocomics.com/doonesbury/2023/04/23

I have little doubt that the real Tucker Carlson sees things exactly like this

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Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023

Hearing this news, even this baby laughed after hearing their mom's laughter

https://imgur.com/t/laughing/SpIOoN0

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I'm sure he didn't get fired for knowingly telling lies for profit. He got fired for (a) putting it in email that he knowingly told lies for profit, and (b) those emails making it clear to Trump that Fox thought Trump was full of sh1t.

The fact that he's willing to knowingly tell lies for profit makes him more employable on the right, not less.

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He'll land somewhere. Radio maybe or OAN.

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Hopefully, on his face. In a minefield.

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I was hoping on a sidewalk. From 50 floors up.

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I've got that one!

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Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023

Me too. Also "Don Martin Steps Out" and "Don Martin Bounces Back!"

Don Martin was like unto a god. I still use the sound effect SHTOINK!

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It'd be interesting to watch him turn his coat if CNN or MSNBC decided to try to capture his audience by giving him a show, but that seems highly unlikely. I'm sure he's already been offered a couple of syndicated radio shows. He'll probably be offered a position at OAN before the week is out.

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Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023

It's pretty unlikely that either CNN or MSNBC would hire him back- he's previously been employed by both networks, and they've both fired him (albeit a very long time ago). Plus, they cater more to the conservative Democrat audience, and bringing Fucker back on board could easily cost them more viewers than they'd pick up- if they did that, it would almost have to be part of a network-wide rebranding, and they'd be fighting the entire right-wing media apparatus to do that. Then there's fame to consider... Fucker won't be able to just change his skin the way he's done in the past when he was a bowtie-wearing nobody; he's 𝘸𝘢𝘺 too well-known as a wingnut asshat now.

*𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵- It also seems to be the time slot rather than the host that Fox viewers are loyal to. Bill-O had the same slot before Fucker, and he was the most-watched show back then... whoever plops into Fucker's place will most likely inherit almost all of his viewers, with only his most fervent fascist fanboys following him to whatever shitpit he squirts himself into next.

It'd have to be either Newsmax or OAN, if he were to try for another TV show... but I think one of the deep fringe web or radio outlets is more likely. Whatever caused his sudden departure from Fox, it's probably a scandal that only the most extreme of extremists would overlook.

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The AP article made it sound like he was behind a sexual harassment suit. I doubt that would make Newsmax or OAN blink.

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Comrade Carlson and sexual makes my skin crawl.

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There is still some from WW1 near Verdun. You're welcome.

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I know how shocking--how utterly, utterly flabbergasting it is--but he has already had one offer. FROM RUSSIAN STATE MEDIA. Seriously. https://www.alternet.org/rt-tucker-carlson/

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I am truly...not stunned about this.

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Well good, hopefully he'll become irrelevant and spend the rest of his life feeling bad about his choices.

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Optimist.

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Heh, don't get called that much and to be fair I'm sure he'll stick around like a less pleasant kind of herpes.

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Yes, he'll probably just transfer over to an even nuttier channel right?

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I'm sure he'll follow the money. I'm thinking RT.

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I just heard he's already got an offer from RT.

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"Bone spurs were blamed on a “hatred of husbands.”"

Is that Trump's excuse?

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It looked like everything that could happen to a woman was blamed on a "hatred of husbands." Seems very misogynistic. Though I'm surprised more them don't have a cause of "hated by wife".

(Especially love the deafness in children. "Spirit of illegitimacy". Like children have any choice in that. Of course, the entire idea of illegitimacy is a twisted, misogynistic fantasy. Hades forbid that a man raise a child not of his genetics)

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I was surprised to see that blindness wasn't caused by masturbation.

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I didn't see that either.

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I have to wear glasses. Was it all that masturbating?

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Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023

I don't know about you, but my need for glasses preceded masturbation by several years.

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About 7 in my case, but I didn't figure it out until I was 15. (Thrice-damned IFB upbringing)

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Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023

I was 8 when I first started wearing glasses. I'd figured out what fun I could have with that little guy between my legs years before that.

Ironically, 8 was also the year that the ridiculousness of religion and god belief became clear to me. Didn't need the specs for that one.

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Does it rub you the wrong way?

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Oh come on ! Not again.

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That only happens in America.

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No, I've masturbated in other countries.

Oh, the blindness thing...

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Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023

OT: From Bob Seidensticker at OS:

"Staff from American Atheists and OnlySky need some time to figure out the details of this new arrangement, and the new ’n improved OnlySky should reboot in July. Starting May 1, you’ll see a little activity at OnlySky, but this column will be inactive."

It sounds like they're coughing up blood at this point.

https://onlysky.media/bseidensticker/pause/

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Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023

Here's Austin Powers asking the very same question we've been asking about OnlySky Media...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjl0p0MdvQ0

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I'm kinda surprised that site even made it to the year mark- which is a shame, because there were some really good columns there, even besides the ones exiled from Patheos... but really, it was set up for a fall from day one. The comment system was hot garbage, and so was site navigation until several months after launch. I hope the writers (most of them, anyway) don't just fade into obscurity when it collapses, though.

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If AA takes over management and pumps money into the technical side of the website, it might survive if the columnists don't flee or if they come back.

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"A little activity", is pretty much all that's going on now. One thing I put in that survey they send us the other day – two thirds of the writers don't actually write. It's ironic, because a couple of the people I follow their also follow Sikivu Hutchinson, who seems to have disappeared from their list of contributors – and I always wondered why they did, because she never wrote a damn thing. Maybe because she is famous or something.

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Any bets that any "improvements" they make will only make it suck more? The only question is how MUCH more.

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No bet. It's inevitable. Just check their track record to date.

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You want me "to date" them? Ecchh!

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What we've got heah is...failuah to communkate.

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You know, this group might be a fringe group, but the RCC employs hundreds of exorcists. Just saying...

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Religion kills. What it doesn't kill, it maims. A pox on all religions.

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In Scientology, the shunning is called 'disconnection.' That's one big old red flag warning you that it's a cult, no matter what names the organizations call themselves. Good News, Jehovah's Witnesses, Scientology, doesn't matter. It's what they DO that matters!

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One would think that Singh's incident would be an abject lesson in what happens when faith improperly enters what should be a commonsense decision regarding whether someone should be given a task or not. What Singh did was a direct result of Tutero's action in allowing Singh to take that assignment. Regardless of HOW Tutero made that decision should not be relevant. It was a BAD choice which cost lives, and he should be held liable for that, both civilly and criminally.

This is the world-upside-down, people.

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Even Bizzaro world is like 'What the actual Fuck?"

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I think how he made the choice here is relevant since the consequences were so dire. Plus it could be helpful to prevent similar things happening, perhaps the government needs to a public awareness campaign pointing out that witches aren't real.

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A Public Service Announcement from Your Local Government:

People, Witches Are NOT REAL!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

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Mark Twain made note of the fact that that there were no witches some time ago and that the religious who went after "supposed" witches committed crimes against humanity:

www.twainquotes.com/Witches.html

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Man, I wish he were still alive. Imagine the fun he would have with the Right these days. Of course he might just nope off to Canada or something, that would be the smart thing to do.

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PERSECUTION!

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He had trouble procuring transportation himself. He had to have 2 of his followers steal a colt/donkey for him to ride on.

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...and he couldn't even manage to ride that donkey the right way 'round.

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There's an old saying that I just made up:

"Never trust a messiah that rides side saddle."

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Never did understand why it was women who rode side-saddle. It's men who have something squished against the horse's backbone.

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Try to ride a horse in a dress without undergarment 😁

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Ever see the western "Bad Girls?" None of those ass-kicking ladies rode side saddle.

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That's a much worse outcome than the nothing that happens after most exorcisms. Tragedies like this really highlight how irrational the whole faith healing concept is. I would love for someone to do a documentary or something where they follow up on people who were 'healed' to see how many of them still have the issues. All of them, I'm sure, unless it was something that cleared up on it's own. It would also be interesting to see how many people think they're healed when they're clearly not.

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Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023

Beliefs aren't real. Actions (or inaction) based on beliefs are real. Most are harmless--but not all. "Faith" in the context of religion is the execution of delusional belief-based thinking. Here is one such example that wasn't so harmless.

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Even if he was affected by a spell. You should observe him for a few hours after exorcising him to be sure it worked, especially before letting him operate heavy machinery. Hell, they don't let you take an Uber after you come out of anesthesia. They want someone to stay and watch you for a couple of hours.

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founding

If there isn't already, we need something akin to Poe's Law, saying "There is no religious cult too crazy for some members to stay in it."

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OT - 𝐋𝐆𝐁𝐓𝐐+ 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞.

https://news.yahoo.com/lgbtq-people-leaving-florida-blame-110000533.html

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This is just the start of the exodus. The big question is, where is the promised land?

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The promised land for gay sex? The Vatican.

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Too many closet cases, and damn, people think I have no fashion sense.

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Yes, sex in a closet is awkward.

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Not if you do it right.

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Yeah, but man, those yummy Swiss Guard boys! They really know how to blow an alpenhorn (if you get my drift). Of course, you have to wait till the cardinals are finished, but what the hell.

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Aren't they too old for the cardinals?

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But those uniforms. Honey, I wouldn't be caught dead in those frocks.

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: D LMAO

I needed a good laugh just now. Thanks!

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We value all where I live.

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How's your job rate? Remember all those refugees have to find work to support themselves.

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Yeah, but how much good will that do when Republicans re-write the Constitution. Or when Congress passes an interment law requiring all LGBT to be held in camps for "work" (slave labor)

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At least we'll have each other for some (very warm) companionship. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLPp4u399DM

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Knowing these sadistic bastards, they'll probably use cock locks on us.

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Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023

Rammstein's take on Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HE9MWD-XHHg

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“Tuteru’s decision to let Singh drive the truck that night wasn’t just a poor management decision; it was a faith-based one.”

I’m struggling to see the difference here.

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A distinction without a difference.

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