137 Comments

John 11:35!

Since it looks as though Mae West quotes are also allowed, how about (attrib.) at one of her obscenity trials:

"I am not showing contempt for the law; I'm doing my best to hide it."

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My favorite: "I used to be Snow White, but I drifted." Honorary mention to "I'm as pure as the driven slush."

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I'm as pure as New York snow – but then I have Betty Davis' eyes.

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She was buried without them?!

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Mar 27, 2023·edited Mar 27, 2023

And now you've reminded me of this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC-ZK-lxws4

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Gosh, so many memories come back when I have a quick look at his Wikipedia page. "Bootsie and Snudge" "At Last, The 1948 Show" "Round the Horne" the four Yorkshireman sketch – guy was a comic genius.

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"Cette video n'est pas accessible"

Is it the song by Kim Carnes ? I had the vinyl when I was a child :)

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It's a spoof of the Kim Carnes song called "Marty Feldman Eyes" by Bruce Baum.

I heard it decades ago on Dr. Demento, praise be his name.

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Sounds like a comic villain name.

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I would have put "two Corinthians". Then in the space for the actual verse: "...walk into a bar".

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says “I think I might be a typo.”

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk in to donate blood. The phlebotomist asks what blood type are you? The rabbit says I’m type O.

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And the barkeep looks at them and asks, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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I'd really like to know what those two Corinthians do after they get drunk, leave the bar and go home. If they're typical christians they do some mighty ungodly things.

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Isn't the joke that it only takes a six-pack.

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You'd be amazed at some of the things I've done for cute guys with sixpacks.

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Pool boy? Can I watch next time?

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Twenty Bucks on Only Fans.

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I can see that in a dozen films. I want to touch.

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And the barkeep looks at them and asks, "Are you from the electric company? I'm having trouble with the current."

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"It’s irrelevant that these women are Christian."

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with you here, Hemant. I think it's very relevant that all these women are Christian, since it's entirely possible part of the reason they were chosen for the honor of being on the page is because of their faith. To be clear: I'm not objecting to their preference for Christianity here, I'm objecting to the appearance that they had to be Christian to be selected for this. I'm all for the department honoring its female officers in a productive way, but this strikes me more as an attempt to encourage faith conformity than anything else.

As you noted, there are no Jewish, Muslim, Atheist, or other non-Christians here. The result is I'm left wondering if the Jackson Police Department in Tennessee is honoring all women, or only honoring Christian women. I'm willing to guess that wasn't the intention, but I still find myself very disappointed by the implication that some women (i.e. non-Christians) just aren't as good as others (i.e. Christians).

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It's Tennessee, what surprised me is non white women in important jobs in police departments.

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And they actually give each of them their very own bullet.

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*Include picture of confused dog*

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Believe jomicur is referring to a standing joke in the ancient sitcom "The Andy Griffith Show". The deputy (Barney Fife) of the town of Maybury is clumsy and not very bright and is allowed a single bullet to be kept in his breast pocket until needed and then he can load his gun.

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Mar 27, 2023·edited Mar 27, 2023

It wouldn't surprise me if they only hire christians. From the correct church.

Edit: wouldN"T. D'oh!

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Mar 27, 2023·edited Mar 27, 2023

Honoring women? Is this the same patriarchal religion that is rabidly misogynistic and continues to make women's lives miserable by trying to exercise control over their bodies against their wishes?

Want to honor women, Christianity? Then release your stranglehold over their bodies and minds.

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New WSJ poll has some very bad news for "anti-woke" conservatives and the crowd who want this to be a christian nation. https://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/2023/03/new-wsj-poll-shows-america-is-not-with-desantis-on-his-anti-woke-policies/

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Yeah, but will they voice that opinion when and where it counts?

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We can only hope. And of course the practical value of hope is frequently nil.

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Hey !

"Hope" is not happy with your comment.

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Bob Hope? He kicked the bucket years ago.

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🎵 Thanks for the memories 🎵

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Who was it said "Thanks for the mammaries"? It stuck in my mind but I can't remember. 😁

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It's what he got for playing golf with Alice Cooper.

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Mar 27, 2023·edited Mar 27, 2023

*Look at her ID*

Nope, my second name start with a "L" 🤔

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There’s a novel called “The Tidewater Tales” by John Barth. The main character is a writer. The novel, about 700 pages, is a complex collection of interwoven stories. The main character’s wife is pregnant. One of the stories he is writing features a young woman named June who is kayaking thru a treacherous tunnel. June is sending reports back to her home base about the conditions she is encountering. She hopes her reports are getting through although she isn’t confident that they are. After all, the reports of her two predecessors, April and May, never came thru.

The entire story is a metaphor for the journeys of human ova traveling down Fallopian tubes.

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Next on the DeSantis agenda is making polls illegal.

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And this a Rupert Murdoch publication.

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Obligatory:

Ezekiel 23:20

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I'm just now logging in. That was the first bit of scripture that came to mind.

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Mar 27, 2023·edited Mar 27, 2023

"Yet she multiplied her promiscuity, remembering the days of her youth, when she had prostituted herself in the land of Egypt and lusted after their lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of stallions. So you revisited the indecency of your youth, when the Egyptians caressed your bosom and pressed your young breasts.…"

Luckily they didn't ask for mine.

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You're not the only one here whose mind automatically went to that one. :)

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Having associated with everyone around here for some years now, I'm not at all surprised. 😇

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I wouldn't have had a problem if some of the women had *chosen* to include their favorite verse in a free-form 'tell us about yourself' blank, but it appears it was asked as a specific question or part of a suggested template.

I didn't look up the ones that just indicated the verse, but I was hopeful that some of them would be one of the near half-dozen that are pro-woman.

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Same. The "template" part is what annoys me most. This pre-determination of "Surely you are a Christian, so you must have a favorite verse."

Could you imagine what would happen if such a questionaire included the line "Which is your favorite Ron 'The Hedgehog' Jeremy movie?"

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I don't have a favorite verse. The first few words are ok (In the begining) but it goes downhill fast after that.

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"In the beginning, God was bored."

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Marvel Comics' own Stan Lee once did a poem called "God Woke" about the biblical god. One thing he mentioned was that deity's utter boredom with the constant, non-stop praying for this and that.

If you want to hear it, here's the link...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oGc5_OO6Q4

It's over 12 minutes long but worth it, IMO.

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FYI, the line is from the movie "The big Gay Musical"

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Keep in mind: Lee introduced "God Woke" in 1972, 37 years before TbGM.

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Like the prayer before meals thanking him for the food. If it were me that would have gotten old and then annoying to downright grating about 4 millennia ago.

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Mar 27, 2023·edited Mar 27, 2023

I know that Lee wasn't a believer in Jesus. His god seems to be Deist.

(He also seems to be acknowledging the atheist view of "god")

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Too bad none of them put Matthew 6: 5-6 as their favorite verse. Though, do we honestly know if any of these officers actually likes those verses or if someone in the department just had them added to the entries?

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Did they vet the verses before posting them?

What if one of them was Proverbs 31:6-7?

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Psalm 137:9 seems to go along with police brutality.

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Meanwhile, in the same state...

"6 girls, including one-year old, killed in Tennessee highway car crash"

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/6-girls-killed-tennessee-highway-car-crash-rcna76760

Even worse?

"Shooting at Nashville Christian school leaves at least 3 children and 2 adults dead, authorities say"

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/school-shooting-tennessee-leaves-multiple-injured-shooter-dead-officia-rcna76841

What did scripture...or the xtian god, for that matter...do for any of the victims?

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And note that this was in a Presbyterian school. Guess they just didn't pray hard enough or often enough. Because, as we all know, taking Christ out of schools is what leads to mass shootings.

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Also marijuana, communism, and sassing your parents.

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And of course the riechwing are having a field day since the alleged shooter is trans. I commented basically.. "Um yah? And what about all the OTHER shooters who were cis-male? I would still feel a ton safer surrounded by gays/trans with guns than ANY straight cis white guy"

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Mar 28, 2023·edited Mar 28, 2023

I would as well, but I will point out I'm not a reichwinger, and haven't given LGBT people copious reasons to want me dead. Could Tucker Carlson or Ron DeSantis say the same? (Ok, those lying motherfuckers could *say* it, doesn't make it true)

The reality is, it is somewhat surprising that more religious schools aren't shot up by LGBT students and former students.

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He listened real hard to everybody's thoughts and prayers. Isn't that enough?

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Mar 27, 2023·edited Mar 27, 2023

He's been listening to those thoughts and prayers for 6000 years. It's obvious the old man went deaf long, long ago.

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Don't say that, believers already shout too much.

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That's why preachers have to keep collecting money. He needs new batteries for his hearing aid.

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So much for "omnipotent."

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You misspelled and forgot a "m".

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Momnipotent?

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Little sinners, every one of them.

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Thanks drag queens.

/s if it wasn’t clear.

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He took them in his harem.

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Mar 27, 2023·edited Mar 27, 2023

I'm sure that they were as usual, many thoughts and prayers. The thing you do when you don't want to DO anything.

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Death count now up to 7. 3 kids, 3 adults, 1 shooter.

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I believe we've actually gone a couple days without a mass shooting. I was starting to worry that enthusiasm for our national pastime might be waning. But now my faith in America is restored. My country, 'tis of thee!

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Waning? Not with a mindset of "But it's too early to talk about gun control!" after each and every shooting/mass shooting.

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Stop, just stop. It's too early to talk about talking about gun control.

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This perp was a 28-year-old Female.

(No idea what she thought of Mondays, too late to ask her. 🤔)

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To coin a phrase: "Jesus Christ."

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"No law would have prevented this. Criminals are gonna be criminals." Then why have laws against murder?

A law won't help, so let's not even try. After all we've tried nothing and it didn't work, so why would we try anything else.

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Tennessee strikes again, eh? I wonder what the comment would be if one of them had said that their favorite verse was Ezekiel 20-25-6, which calls out Yahweh as a pure JERK. Maybe, better yet, Ezekiel 23:20! Anyone wanna bet that the "Favorite Scripture" question would get LOST in a hurry?

Fact is, it should get lost, 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗢𝗗.

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Fox noise is now saying that the shooter was a trans person. Shit. That's all we going to hear about it from now on. And the about last thing the trans community needs at this point.

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Agreed. One of my kids is trans. He has already made this same point.

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Other reports say it is a Christian school and the shooter was a woman who used to go there. If it was a trans woman it sounds like an extroverted suicide by a person who faced unrelenting harassment for years. On the other hand, half of the stuff says is lies.

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Yeah, once the ex-pupil thing came out I was thinking – someone snapped because of years of being treated like shit.

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Which as I commented on further down, the only surprising thing is that it doesn't happen more often.

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The BBC says the shooter was born female but uses male pronouns on social media so maybe he's a trans man. Or maybe not.

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The one thing they will NEVER say is that the shooter is a Christian.

Anything but a Christian.

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I’ve been told by a few Christians that the only reason I’m moral as an atheist is because I live in a society heavily influenced by Christianity.

Apparently going to a Christian school doesn’t help one’s morals. /sarc

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Here in the UK we have loads of traffic cop type shows. When policemen are featured they’ll very often include three ‘favourite’ type things, be it film, type of food, dog, car, or whatever. I’ve never once seen favourite bible verse. Honestly, who gives a sh.t!

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