179 Comments

“We don’t use pronouns,” Bishop said.

Barney, please step to the board and diagram that sentence you just spoke.

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We don't need no education.

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But they do like their thought control.

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And their pudding.

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But you must eat your meat. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

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And their dark sarcasm in the classroom.

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Is that what we ancient ones used to call "parsing"?

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Can you show some pity to a younger one ? What is parsing ?

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It’s the hip way of saying “needs more parsley”.

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With thanks to Len Koz: in French, analyse grammaticale. I use Oxford English Dictionary (OED) Online; access is free with my library card. First used in 1568, which seems rather late. Unfortunately OED is addictive.

 b. intransitive. To describe a word syntactically. Also: to resolve a sentence, phrase, etc., into its component parts of speech for the purpose of syntactical description. Also figurative. Now rare.

Etymology: Apparently < pars n., or its ultimate etymon classical Latin pars part n.1

N.E.D. (1904) also gives the pronunciation (pāɹs) /pɑːs/, which accords with the analogy of all words in -rse.

a1568   R. Ascham: Scholemaster (1570) ii. f. 31   He shall not now vse dalie translation, but onely construe againe, and parse, where ye suspect, is any nede.

"parse, v.". OED Online. March 2023. Oxford University Press. https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/138159?rskey=bYV5yL&result=2 (accessed March 24, 2023).

That “Now rare” really hurts.

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Ned was around in 1904?

https://tenor.com/bjnYE.gif

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They probably don't diagram sentences, that's something at least one of my nieces never learned.

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Of course not. those 'diagrams' are all wordporn.

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Yep. Maybe religion poisons everything, but conservativism stupids everything.

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Also “They didn’t like ...” and “... for our kids.”

“Some people you don’t have to satirize, you just quote ’em.”

—Tom Paxton, American folksinger

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Not surprised. Republicans reacted to nude statues with less maturity as sixth graders:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/cover-up-at-justice-department/

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To be fair, sixth graders are more mature about 𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 than Republicans are.

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Mar 23, 2023·edited Mar 23, 2023

Wait til they find out about the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Not only is there nudity, but it's in a church!

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Hmmmm ... graven images. Must destroy.

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Painted, not graven. Take that Atheist ! 😁

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He's the son of god, I didn't think he would be so...tiny.

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Apparently Michael had a small cock fetish.

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If he's doing it in the style of the Greeks/Romans, they regarded a large prick as uncivilised. Or maybe it was just cold when the guy posed.

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Mar 24, 2023·edited Mar 25, 2023

My understanding is that crucified criminals (nearly always slaves) were not allowed the dignity of even a loincloth. So on resurrection he would be naked.

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It was chilly....?

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Cold-ish.

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He was in the pool!

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Mar 23, 2023·edited Mar 23, 2023

He's a grower, not a show-er.

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Multiplying something other than fish and loaves?

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When young boys get a load of that, Christ won't be the only thing that's rising.

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But it's a Papist church! They're going to h-e-double hockey sticks, anyway!

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Wait till they find out Michelangelo was queer and wrote more than a hundred love sonnets to his boyfriend.

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“Parental rights trump everything else,”

Unless they have LGBTQI+ children.

I was 6 or 7 years old when DM took me to the ancient Greek art section of the Louvre Museum for the first time. I am sure if I talked about this post with her (she is asleep) her answer would be "Bande d'imbéciles" (bunch of morons).

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Parental rights trump everything else. Unless the parents want to do something the conservatives don't like and then it's "We must protect the Children"

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I wish I could have gone to the Louvre as a kid. I did get to go to the Museum of Fine Art in Boston a few times, loved it. I gotta say, even my wicked uptight Mormon parents didn't bat an eye at classical art. Because, you know, it's art. It's not even dirty, just nude. Fucking people.

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I am sure my catholic paternal grandmother had badmouthed my mother for taking me there. Lucky me, DM didn't give a fuck about her mother in law opinion.

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I was just at the Gibbes museum in Charleston today. There are a few marble sculptures/busts there. The Veiled Lady is there and quite charming. But I noticed that many of them seemed to have their breasts exposed for no real reason. One was a woman making a fish net, and her dress was hanging off her exposing her breasts. But still it wasn’t dirty really, just unnecessary. No issues with allowing my 14 yo observe them.

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I want someone to show conservative parents pictures of the Venus of Willendorf and Lespugue 😁

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I'll be in my bunk.

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I hope I can go back to the Louvre again sometime soon. It was really amazing. The first time we ran through all the main touristy stops, Venus De Milo, Mona Lisa you know. The second time we found some royal jewels and architecture. Fascinating stuff.

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I'd like to go to the British Museum before they have to give it all back and turn the building into a TikTok parlor or whatever it is kids are doing now. ;)

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If the British Museum even gave a large percentage back, I would be shocked. I fully believe they'll refuse as long as humanly possible plus 10 years.

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My wife and I were in Paris about 20 years ago. I remember going to the Louvre, but not much about it. I really enjoyed the Rodin Museum, although my wife complained that it was just a bunch or erotic statues. I said A: no it wasn't, and B: so what? Anyway, the trip was marred by having too try to track down our luggage (it flew across the Atlantic at least 3 different times) and finding out her digital camera failed and we maybe got 5% of the pictures we took.

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The last time I went was 23 years ago, for my honeymoon. That was when we explored the other areas.

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Did you both see "the Kiss" ?

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Yes, I don't recall if she said anything about it.

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Now I am really curious about your wife definition of "erotic".

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Rodin's "The Kiss?"

Sure. Monty Python covered it...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Nj6G_KK2Ps

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I don't know when you went but they revamped the Ancien Egypt section a few years back. And maybe you should try the Quai Branly Museum.

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“We don’t use pronouns,” Bishop said. “We don’t teach CRT and we don’t ever mention 1619"

Pronoun count = 3.

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We is a wee pronoun, so really, only one. : )

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So, the sight of a 1,000+ year old marble penis is "pornographic"?

BTW, I live in upstate NY and yesterday a village just north of me had to evacuate all its schools because a right wing extremist emailed the news media saying they'd planted 2 or 3 pipe bombs in every school building. Why? Because of a book found in the high school library titled "This Book is Gay."

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And the likes of DeSantis, Abbott, Boebert, Green, and Murdoch pay no price for stirring up such a violent person.

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No, I've had conservatives on about this but they invariably simply say it's the responsibility of the guy who did it not the guy who egged them on. Bastards.

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I've had supposed liberals say basically the same thing. Rambling on about thought police, Jewish lawyers defending Nazis, etc.

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Mar 23, 2023·edited Mar 23, 2023

The list of people who incited this maniac are as long as your arm. It's just a big relief that it was a hoax, but what about next time? How long will it be before these psychos start actually planting bombs in schools? They've been blowing up abortion clinics for many years, shooting little kids in their classrooms and killing peaceful protesters with their cars.

UPDATE: The Feds have disclosed that the email was sent from a Russian email address. Goes to show that those vile scumbags really do interfere with our lives.

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I'm paranoid enough these days that my first thought reading your update was "sure, that's what they *said*..." but yeah, Occams razor says sure. Still though, interesting times.

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“… a 1,000+ year old marble penis…”

Puts Viagra to shame, it does.

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I’m sure it’s because Michelangelo is known to be gay officially so his sculpture of his lover must be porno.

Plus the statue is gigantic, so superhuman marble penis.

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"What you may not have read much about are the school’s ties to conservative Christianity."

Hadn't read much, but had assumed plenty. Turns out my assumptions were right and I wish I had something stronger to pour in my coffee.

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It's after 5 somewhere.

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An espresso ?

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I live in SE Iowa, not only would it be terrible but they would definitely pronounce it 'express-o" and think it's named that because it's quick it make. Heh.

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We were given shit enough by our Italian neighbours for saying "expresso" too.

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I worked in a Starbucks near Boston for a time, some very creative pronunciations of the badly used Italian were uttered. :)

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DM* who is a coffee gourmet went to a Starbuck once, she never went a second time and there is one at the exit of St Lazare Station she used for years.

* Must be the genes, she is one quarter Italian 😋

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I used to go to Dunkin Donuts on my break and drink it in front of the store. 😉

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My wife and her Italian family just refer to it as black coffee. Weaker, non-espresso coffee is brown coffee.

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I am ashamed to admit it, but I never peed until I was 15. Up to that point, the Pee Fairy removed it. She always left me 5¢ in payment.

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"She"

Now, now not all fairies are cis females.

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She was a drag queen. Her performing name was LesbiAnne Bigbooté. Notice the accent. It's French.

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Stop using pronouns!!!

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"You can show the hands, the arms, the muscles, the beautiful work Michelangelo did in marble, without showing the whole thing."

Did someone just come out?

More importantly, I guess every boy at this school has no idea what that thing is down there that we don't talk about.

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Don't you know that boys never pee before mariage ?

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Uh-huh, like all brides are vegans on their wedding night.

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Actually yes it's considered vegan as long it's consensual 😏

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Republican forbidden: a penis on an historic work of art. Republican acceptable for their presidential nominee: "They let you grab 'em by the pussy."

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This statue is quite big, like five times larger than an average human big. So, this parent is probably jealous of the size.

Yes I’m going there, they deserve it.

I remember in elementary school, my dad volunteered to chaperone a field trip to the art museum with my class. This museum had a marble sculpture similar to David, though quite a bit smaller in scale. When my group got to it my dad stood back to watch how I would react. All the other girls in my group made a big deal about peeking at it and snickering while I just observed the statue. He told me later he was watching and I was very grown up, but really it wasn’t anything to get excited over and we were warned it was coming up.

This is like the woman who flipped out over the Bronco over Mile High Stadium getting cleaned up so she wouldn’t have to explain genitals to her children. How these people navigate the world is beyond me. How does she deal with driving past horse pastures all the damn time? Fuck! People are stupid and childish.

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I remember going to see it in Italy, without knowing ahead of time how big it was. It made a real impression. What a freaking amazing work of genius, if only for being able to get all the perspectives and ratios right on a human statue that big. Having said that though, for the size of the statue the genitalia is nothing special.

You're exactly right: the kids snicker...then in about 2 minutes they are over it and able to appreciate the actual artwork. Totally worth exposing them to the titillation factor (heh) to get over it and have the reward of seeing them look at *the art*.

It's a shame some adults don't have the sense to react the same way. It's okay to be shocked or upset or giggly at first. That's human. Just wait until that wears off in a minute or two. Then you'll be ready to really get it. Or not get it, if big human statues aren't your thing. But even if that's the case, at least then you can say 'its not my thing' for art appreciation reasons, and you're not rejecting it merely because 'omg look a penis.'

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You must have seen it when you were young (and shorter : ).

"David is a 5.17-metre (17 ft 0 in) marble statue..."

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I still remember seeing Michelangelo's David for real in Florence, Italy, during the summer of 1969. Before that time, I had seen pix in a coffee-table book on his works, but to see it in person? WHEW! Breathtaking.

And to think that these jerks in Florida want to get all bent out of shape because sixth graders saw a piece of classic artwork? Just makes me sad (and MAD!) as hell.

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Mar 23, 2023·edited Mar 23, 2023

The peepee was showing and sixth graders aren't supposed to know about those things. /s

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Never mind that by the time you're in 6th grade you've probably seen at least one.

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And Florida pulls ahead of Texas by a full stride in the race to worse state in the nation.

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WE'RE #1! WE'RE #1!! WE'RE #1!!!

Florida Man reigns supreme.

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Abbott tells Stitt, "Hold my Beer!"

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Which state is next?

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Mississippi, Alabama, Iowa, and Oklahoma are in a cluster a neck behind Texas.

Arkansas is making a move on the outside.

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Louisiana remains in front by 2 lengths.

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My North Carolina is making its way into the race. Thankfully, we have our dem governor Roy Cooper but he’s out soon. Then, it’s possible we’re looking at an abomination named Mark Robinson.

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This is a conservative Florida "classical" school. So the scare quotes are needed. By "classical" they mean dogs playing poker, not Botticelli. "Classical" music means Lynyrd Skynyrd, not Bach. And if the music teacher even mentions Mozart's The Magic Flute, they're getting fired.

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Classical = Traditional values = dog whistles for bigotry and hatred.

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"parent's rights trump everything else" 🙄

Including and especially their kids' right to an education.

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Mar 23, 2023·edited Mar 23, 2023

Every kid's right to an education.

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On an unrelated note, whole bananas will no longer be served in the cafeteria.

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Useless info, it was forbidden for women to eat them whole both at the French Kings Court and in Turkish Sultan harem :)

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You are supposed to eat them sideways, like an ear of corn.

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From Rhapsodie's ghost "Why humans are so complicated? Food is food. Now give me yours or I will paw your knee to death*"

* She did that every time I had something she found yummy in my hand, meaning every time I was about to eat 😁

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There’s a trick involving a fine sewing needle and thread soaked in lemon juice where one can slice a banana inside the peel. Then you amaze your friends by peeling it in front of them and eating your sliced banana.

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Mar 23, 2023·edited Mar 24, 2023

Or you can do it the easy with just a pin.

https://youtu.be/PNDjg3409BI

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