137 Comments

“God impregnated Mary when she was about 11 years old. So the government idiots… [would] 'cuff him and send him to prison for statutory rape."

Not the only crime Yahweh needed to be locked up for.

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Worldwide flood, Murder of millions, animal cruelty of billions. And that's just one incident.

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I'm guessing some of those genocides count.

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For something on that scale, "genocide" isn't a sufficient word. You're looking at "omnicide".

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The root problem here, lies in the failure of people to do their own thinking. They abdicate that responsibility and delegate it to the parasitic clerical class. This tendency opens up a multitude of opportunities for every kind of fraud and abuse, and makes the crimes of men like Tony Alamo inevitable.

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This. When you're told what to think and that it will literally make your god angry if you question it it opens the door for anything. I can't tell you how many times Mormon relations have stopped a conversation with me because they don't want to think about what we're discussing. Sometimes they've straight up said that.

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My father went to his grave convinced you simply could not question anything the Catholic chuch taught. In my opinion, you can question a thing all you want, and if it's true it will be the thing you come back to.

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My dad feels the same way about the LDS church, it's pretty gross. I'm of the opinion that you *should* question everything, get all the info you can. It's the only way to have informed opinions.

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At least he's with Jesus now...right? Or Allah? Or Yahweh? Or...nothing?

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He's with them as much as anyone is, I guess.

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That's the beauty of inculcating fear and delusional supernatural omnipotence into a simple parable called "God." Once peoples' actions follow their false belief, anything is justified. Including this shit.

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And Chick Publications is still in partnership with Tony Alamo Ministries.

They should change their name to Sick Publications (especially after they put out...then deleted..."Lisa."

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You really shouldn't ever mention that abomination without linking to one of the reviews, so those who had never heard of it (and at least think they have a strong stomach) can see it's true abysmal awfulness.

https://jackchick.wordpress.com/2011/04/01/chick-tract-review-lisa/

Fucking Mandated Reporter more worried about "saving souls for Jesus" than a 6-8 year old with gonorrhea.

Edit: sorry, it was herpes.

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Both Alamo and Chick are dead and yet the malady lingers on.

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Clicked through, saw the subtitle and noped the fuck out. Chick tracts used to amuse me until I realized there are people who take them seriously. Now they frighten/enrage/nauseate me.

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The fact that Chick himself took "Lisa" out of production and offline shows you the depths to which this "good Christian" had plummeted.

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That is some evil shit. I wouldn't have thought even Christians would stoop so low as to produce this stuff.

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Read enough Chick tracts and you'll understand how Chick was able to produce this slime given his rather...how shall I put it?... peculiar worldview.

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He was so malfamous there was even a French blog who mocked him (I don't remember the name).

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One of the advantages of being at the arse end of the world is that these people often don't penetrate here. I spoke too soon. Google search shows at least 2 places where you can buy the things. One is a Christian megastore – which I had no idea existed :)

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Does anybody on a globe live at the arse end of it? :)

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The people at the research stations in Antarctica?

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The reaction of pretty much everyone who was ever unfortunate enough to read "Lisa."

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Okay, my curiosity (my besetting sin ha ha) caused me to check out "Lisa." Now I need to throw up.

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Sorry about that.

Anybody reading that mind rot should be eligible for hazardous duty pay.

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Well, usually I can resist temptation to read stuff. Years ago, my sons (adults now) mentioned a thing on the internet, I asked and then they told me "MOM! You don't want to know." I went to Google, I found out, and should've learned my lesson. ;)

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OT

Happy pagan holiday stolen by Christians.

Let's not forget what Eostre is really all about: The spring equinox (the Earth coming back to life after winter) and fertilization through SEX! SEX! SEX!

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So Jesus did not rise as the Easter Bunny? Well, did he bring eggs for breakfast? I'm so confused!

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I think Jesus invented Peeps.

After all, why should only the little children suffer?

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Roasted some peeps after I finished the pizza last night. They were wonderful.

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I developed diabetes just reading that. :)

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Or – and hear me out here – the beginning of autumn. 😇

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It's like we're living in different worlds. ;)

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Hey, I'd be happy if it was autumn too, as it was my favorite time of year. Then as I got older I realized it meant that winter would soon be here (shudder). I used to prefer cold weather over hot, until I got so sick I realized I could get out more in the summer, even if it is only in the morning or evening.

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I've got a word for The Word: 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦.

And another: 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦.

And another: 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦.

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Deplorable, indefensible...

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Big, elitist words that most of 'murica doesn't understand.

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here are some smaller words... shit,dumb,evil,lies. Those should be easier.

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“Consent is puberty.”

Oh, no. No nononononono. NO. That's not how it works, that's not how it works AT ALL. Ok, deep breath. Ok. What the actual fuck is wrong with people? As for the TV network, that's so blatantly shady you shouldn't be able to see the programs past all the red flags. Thanks Hemant, this is now definitely a wake and bake day.

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Does " Consent is puberty" actually means something ? As fucked up it can be I would understand a pedophile saying "Puberty is consent" but not the former.

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To Alamo, it means (meant, actually, the sick fuck is DEAD and good riddance!) that once a girl has had her first menses, she's fair game.

And I'm not certain that it gets much more detestable than THAT.

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I had a work supervisor who thought the phrases "old enough to bleed is old enough for me" and "if there's grass on the field, play in it" were hilarious and would say them every time teenage girls came up. He also had a little girl. In retrospect I should have probably put a bug in social services ear.

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Not just that she’s fair game, but her opinion on the matter is irrelevant. Similar to the idea that “I Do” at the altar is consent for life. There’s no such thing as marital rape, type thinking.

Their religion has setup women as the gatekeepers of sex and then removed any and all ability to refuse. Alamo goes even further with the barely pubescent children.

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As this native American English speaker understands it, they mean the same insane, horrifying, stupefying thing. And I can't believe this *sick* fuck thought anyone would buy that.

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I took one look at that line ("Consent is puberty") and instantly said: 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧?!?

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Let's see what the Easter Bunny left for us today.

<reads article>

Thanks, Hemant, for resurrecting last night's dinner. An Easter miracle.

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Shady Christians being shady, check. Playing sermons from a monster, check. "Consent is puberty", what the actual fuck??? Did the (thankfully dead) kiddie rapist actually think that barely pubescent little girls were automatically his sexual property?

The depravity that Christians can sink to while cherry picking verses to support them is mind boggling.

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"Did the (thankfully dead) kiddie rapist actually think that barely pubescent little girls were automatically his sexual property?"

Well duh!!! The bible says it is so.

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These types are fine with rape, because it's heterosexual. But all the loving homosexual relationships are evil blah blah blah.

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In a word, yes. Yes, this guy really did believe that girls were his property once they started their monthly cycle. Christianity, as practiced in the US of A, is a religion by, about, and for men; women of all ages are property of their fathers, brothers, husbands, or whichever male relative will take them. Allow me to be clear: Women and girls are not people in the Christian mindset.

This is why so many of them have a tenuous relationship with the idea of consent. When you're enjoying the use of an object, you don't care about the object's opinion on the matter, you just enjoy. The object in question doesn't need a say in the matter, and there's no reason to ask for consent.

Most Christians will deny this vehemently, by the by. They like to pretend this isn't how it works, but so far as I can tell this is what it all boils down to.

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One only hopes that, when he got to prison, he smiled nervously at Big Bruno, and Bruno took it as a come-on.

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What's more christian than rape ?

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Exactly, just as Alamo said, their religion is based on the rape of a minor by the very god they worship.

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Oh, but he's God. He created us, so we are his playthings and he doesn't need consent. (Okay, I got a little nauseous typing that. I really should stop channeling fundamentalist.)

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Genocide?

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That seems to be popular with all religions.

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Covering it up.

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Protecting the rapists? Funny hats? Oh, money! Other peoples money.

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Theft? Lying? Murder? Torture? With christianity the possibilities are innumerable.

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Hatred for everyone who is not a Christian?

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Classic scene from Blazing Saddles to underscore this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bigZ1fmwD-Q. Of course, B.S. is cancelled in today's P.C. world.

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Who does he think he is, a priest?

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They don't like any competition.

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God impregnated Mary when she was 11 years old?

Oh, yes. I found the reference at last. The book of the Prophet Pulleditouttamyass.

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I thought it was generally agreed that Mary was at least some kind or horridly young age, at least by modern standards. Although 11 seems young even for the Iron Age.

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Even the nuns told us she was 13. But of course they added the stern warning that WE would be committing horrible sins if we even did so much as "play doctor."

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12 - 16 for Jewish girls at that time in history.

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So what? Mary wasn't a Jew. She was a nice virginal Catholic girl, and don't you forget it.

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Can see her now in her pleated plaid school outfit.

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No, THOSE Catholic girls weren't virgins. And all the jocks in my school knew it.

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My understanding is it's an educated supposition. Scholars agree that most girls were engaged/married by 12 or 13 and were no longer virgins. AFAIK, there's nothing in the bible or the non-canonical gospels that even implies an age for Mary. OTOH, if she was much older than average, it would likely have been mentioned.

I'm surprised to hear a "believer" say it though. Most of the artwork (especially modern) depicts her and Joseph as near the same age.

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Well I'm certainly no scholar which is why my main reaction is "ew. gross". It's a good point that they were likely to mention it if she were older, I didn't think of that. Why she could have been an old maid of 17!

To be fair he is a believer using it to justify his own behavior. I doubt a lot of mainstream preachers like to talk about it.

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“Consent is puberty.”

Just as bad as Dumb Idiot Ken Ham's offensive remark, "Who owns children?"

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I'm going to guess that he didn't always wait for "consent".

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I expect he didn't know what it means or at least didn't care. Well, glad he's dead.

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That puts a song in my heart. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2vdCm4tZDA

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Tony Alamo is with Jesus now.

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And they can have each other.

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Popes are like busses. There’s always another one coming along shortly. And THEIR job description hasn’t changed in a thousand years: (1) Always claim you’re always right. (2) Ask for money. (3) Never admit that anything was ever your fault. (4) Ask for money. (5) Wave at the crowds. (6) Ask for money. (7) Indignantly refuse to pay taxes on moral grounds. (8) Ask for money.

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Where is (9) Ask for money?

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Couldn't help but notice that when the most recent Papa caught himself a case of bronchitis, he didn't call for thoughts and prayers to heal him.

No sir, he went straight to the hospital, where mere humans used their skills to treat him with science-based medicine. Religious hucksters don't buy their own bullshit.

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When there was an assassination attempt on jp II, weren't popemobiles reinforced with bulletproof glass ?

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To be fair, the Catholic Church is a lot more tolerant of science and medicine than the loony Protestants. They even believe in evolution.

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They “kinda” believe in evolution.

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Wonder where evolution comes in concerning their beliefs about a dirt man and a rib woman created by an old man in the clouds. :)

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I honestly can't work up the energy to be shocked by this. I suspect that similar situations have just happened too often for me to get past the level of cynicism I'm currently at.

Too often we see this sort of thing. Some preacher in a nice suit and expensive watch gets on television to preach his version of Christianity, and only well down the road does the public find out what sort of monstrous con artist he really is. A few years after the scandal, he's made a comeback and is right back to being a con artist, he's just learned how to hide from legal consequences. (I'm looking at YOU, Jim Bakker.)

There comes a point when you've done what you can to help people, and said people have decided they don't want the help. I kinda feel like that's what we're seeing here: the viewers and the network should know better, but they don't care enough to bother. Unless and until the viewers decide they're tired of being swindled, this sort of thing is going to continue; and I honestly expect that some of the viewers believe they deserve it.

Oh, and I've got a twenty that says the network never contacts Hemant back on this, anyone want to take that bet?

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Wanted to keep the boys from being any kind of competition. I'm a little surprised he didn't just geld them, to make sure he was the only stallion.

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Or do like the FLDS and banish them.

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Well, we know the priority of this “church”. Patriarchal power and control.

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They can talk about their loving Jesus and the glorious afterlife all they want, but at the end of the day, there is nothing the evangelicals crave more than power and control in this world. Power few groups would be more ill-equipped to exercise.

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