A Catholic school expelled a boy to retaliate against his outspoken mother

She called out their sexism and anti-LGBTQ bigotry

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St. John LaLande Catholic School in Blue Springs, Missouri recently kicked out a rising sixth grader because his parents made the mistake of… challenging Catholic doctrine.

But don’t worry. Principal Susan Martin gave the whole situation “prayerful consideration” before unleashing her wrath on the family of an “A” student with good manners whose parents work closely with the parish.

According to a jaw-dropping column from Melinda Henneberger of the Kansas City Star, Paul and Hollee Muller received a letter from the school on July 19 explaining that their son was “disenrolled” due to their disobedience.

According to the letter, he’s being expelled because his parents, Paul and Hollee Muller, have “stated both verbally and in writing you do not agree with nor do you support the teachings of the Catholic Church. After prayerful consideration and discussion among our school administration it is obvious we no longer have a partnership with you, since the values of your family are not in alignment with those of our school. Therefore, the school administration has made the decision to disenroll your child from our school.”

As it happens, the Mullers are mainstays of the parish and the school, where they are volunteer basketball and track coaches, run a Tuesday night “open gym” for the kids, and “volunteer to do a lot of things other parents won’t,” said [a St. John mother of a classmate], who like all four other parents I spoke to, did not want her name used out of fear that she, too, might be shown the door and left scrambling to find a new school three weeks before classes begin. “Their whole life was that church. It’s just wrong, and it’s going to hurt a lot of the kids.”

Hollee’s “given so much of her time, I’m shocked they would do this,” said a second St. John mom.

Paul Muller attended St. John himself, as did his 15 siblings. So this decision is devastating for their family, and for the wider community, too.

While we’ve seen plenty of stories of Catholic school leaders kicking out teachers in same-sex relationships or kids whose parents are in a same-sex marriage, this one is unique in that a child is being punished for the apparent thought crimes of his family.

So what did they have a problem with? Do the Mullers support LGBTQ rights and abortion rights? Did they criticize Pope Francis? Did they announce plans to vote for a Democrat?

Not exactly. Hollee criticized the short-sighted actions of Father Sean McCaffery, the new leader of the church that oversees the school, in her role as vice president of the school’s advisory board. Specifically, when McCaffery got the job, he began removing books from the school library that had LGBTQ characters or humanized those relationships. Hollee said at the time, “I don’t think being blatantly homophobic is a teaching of the Catholic Church.”

(She’s wrong about that. The Catholic Church is wildly homophobic. But plenty of practicing Catholics, including the pope, have attempting to draw a distinction between opposing LGBTQ relationships and treating LGBTQ people with respect. Removing those books from the shelves, Hollee believed, was disrespectful.)

It got more extreme from there. McCaffery apparently banned use of the language-learning app Duolingo in the school because it translated words like “gay” and “lesbian.” He also banned CNN 10, a short daily news program intended for younger viewers, because, as one parent explained, he saw CNN as “too liberal.”

Father Sean McCaffery (screenshot via YouTube)

Setting aside the lie that CNN is too liberal, the idea that a language app violates Catholic Church doctrine because it translates “gay” and “lesbian” (presumably without demonizing the concept) also means dictionaries would be forbidden. Are references to LGBTQ people in history also banned, even when they’re relevant? At some point, this goes from just promoting bigotry to denying students an education.

There was also an incident in which a teacher at the school told students that girls shouldn’t wear leggings because it suggested they were “whores.” That also implied that girls who wore leggings were to blame if boys treated them with disrespect. Hollee later sent an email to school administrators urging them to teach boys to respect women and that girls shouldn’t be made to feel responsible for how they’re treated because of what they wear.

The point is: There were a number of clashes between Hollee and the administration. That’s not unusual. The question is how the two sides would resolve their conflicts, especially at a Catholic school that is allowed to run itself with far fewer regulations than a public school.

The school requires all families to sign a covenant saying they “support Church teaching in the school.” The Mullers were fine with that, and none of their criticisms violated the letter of the law. There’s nothing in the Catholic Church’s rulebook that requires members to blame women for their attire, dismiss the very idea of same-sex couples (even if the Church doesn’t believe they should be married), or vote Republican.

Indeed, 56% of U.S. Catholics support abortion rights, 70% believe homosexuality should be accepted, and 37% accept trans identities. If Catholic leaders kicked out people who disagreed with the Vatican’s views, the pews would be even emptier than usual.

The Mullers, to be clear, aren’t necessarily in those camps! Hollee is someone who works closely with the Church and presumably accepts its beliefs, even if she has disagreements with them. That’s not weird! That’s true of a lot of believers, no matter the religion! Her criticisms should be seen as fair game. Her comments also called on the school to follow its own mission statement, to make sure “all members of our community are accepted for who they are.”

But because she’s a thorn in the side of this administration, the school is retaliating by kicking out her kid.

Henneberger also points out how this decision hurts the Mullers’ son specifically:

The decision has put Will, who has a life-threatening peanut and other serious food allergies that everyone at St. John accommodated, at greater physical risk in a new place where he knows no one.

It’s punishing his classmates, who according to their parents are sad and upset that their friend won’t be with them when school starts next month.

And it has frightened other parents, which they believe was part of the point.

As some of those people point out, there are parents at the school who are divorced or remarried, who don’t regularly attend Mass, who use birth control, etc. The school isn’t kicking their kids out even though those are all far more egregious “sins” in the eyes of the Vatican. The hypocrisy is glaringly obvious.

In a statement to the Star, the diocese essentially wrote a break-up letter:

… When a family challenges Catholic teaching and curriculum decisions through sustained complaints to the school and diocesan administration, irreconcilable differences can arise. In these situations, it is in the best interest of the family and the school to separate.

Notice how they don’t have a problem with families challenging Catholic teachings. They apparently only have a problem with it when it leads to “sustained complaints to the school and diocesan administration.” Criticize the Church all you want, they seem to imply, just stop annoying us!

The Mullers’ older son had already decided to leave the school, but Will wanted to stay there. Now he won’t have that choice because the Catholic Church is making it for him.

They’re not giving the family a choice. They’re not internalizing valid criticisms. They’re taking their vengeance out on a child. If nothing else, all of this is very on brand for the Catholic Church.

I want to say the family is better off having no links to the school and that they’d be better off leaving the diocese entirely. But it’s truly unfair that a family that’s dedicated so much time and energy (and money!) to making the diocese a better place is being punished for calling out the bad and petty behavior of the person in charge. Perhaps the Catholic Church wouldn’t be shedding as many members as it is if people like the Mullers represented the faith instead of wannabe tyrants like McCaffery.

Ultimately, this isn’t a legal issue. The school is allowed to accept and reject anyone it wants. This is, however, a horrible strategic move. It may scare off other families (who are far more likely to agree with the Mullers than the Church on issues like basic human decency and not calling girls who wear leggings “whores”) and give prospective families a reason to look elsewhere when deciding where to send their kids.

The question is whether any of those other families will bail before the new school year begins. The only way this administration will learn a lesson is if other families kick them in the pocketbooks. They don’t seem to care about anything else.

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