116 Comments
User's avatar
NOGODZ20's avatar
9hEdited

Why would a driver's handbook need religious material of any sort? What do the two even have in common?

Looks like the supremely corrupt Paxton tried to mark his territory only to wind up pissing into a strong wind.

Joe King's avatar

They need to properly instruct new drivers how to let Jesus take the wheel?

Bonnie Boyce's avatar

Best retort yet!!

Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

Maybe instructions on changing a tire? Jesus, take the wheel, then take the jack...

Troublesh00ter's avatar

The publishers of the handbook may be looking for ads to help defray the cost of editing and printing and so forth. Wouldn't surprise me if they were only getting a pittance from the State for those purposes and they needed some additional monies to get the job done.

beads's avatar

When your whipping yer hick-um-up truck along at 110mph and poundin' the brewskis, ya gots ta know the RIGHT sky fairy ta beg for forgiveness when you cream somebody head on. Got to let the Piney Grove All-Out Evangelical Holyness Tabernacle and Dry Cleaners tell you about that, and how to ignore that stick on the steering column that makes that stupid click-click-click.

John Smith's avatar

When the fuckwits hit an animal, don’t you worry this is where the inbred, brain dead MAGA assholes gets to show off their roadkill cooking skills (if you call cooking roadkill a skill).

cdbunch's avatar

You obviously haven't had to deal with deer who have no concept that the black hard stuff might be dangerous. 3 of them in my life. One in the city, where the hunters can't do anything about them. Furry road hazards.

Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

I took an engineering class where the professor was discussing the strength of the frames of Volvos. He told us "we have deer, they have moose."

ericc's avatar
9hEdited

Sales pitches create their own needs. "Hey teens, 100% of the 16-year-olds who come to our church passed their drivers' license test on their first try!"

Bensnewlogin's avatar

If you would only let Jesus take the wheel, you would understand this.

xenubarb's avatar

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!!!

Len Koz's avatar

Dammit, Jesus, not THAT wheel!

NOGODZ20's avatar
5hEdited

What does he know about cars anyway? He's used to riding stolen donkeys/colts.

Richard S. Russell's avatar

Not stolen, borrowed. "And I promise I'll have it right back to you in good shape a week from Monday, cuz I've got nothing else planned for the rest of this week anyway."

t4Ms's avatar

Maybe they’re praying to drive-thru the pearly gates?

oraxx's avatar

No group is quicker to claim they’re being persecuted than America’s evangelicals, and no group would be quicker to persecute others given the power and opportunity to do so.

James Scammell's avatar

Paxton is a SICK PUPPY … just look at his photograph and check out his eyes, ears and mouth.

NOT GOOD !

I am an eye, ear and mouth observer.

If he was a racehorse you wouldn’t purchase him !

… 🦘🦘🦘

IPHawk's avatar

Start making these religious zealots personally liable for attorney fee shifting.

Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

“… it’d be downright weird to see product placement in there. That would be like putting an ad in the dictionary.”

But that’s the part of Idiocricy we are living in. Everything is an ad, there’s no place we can go to avoid ads, I’m even waiting for the “tech bros” to develop the technology to insert ads into our dreams and force it on us all. (I can guarandamntee there has been discussions for this already.) This is end stage capitalism.

Paxton is a corrupt piece of shit anyway. But he’s just a part of a corrupt system, since there was a moment when he could have faced consequences and been removed from his position for his corruption, but the other corrupt people in the corrupt system didn’t want to do the right thing and remove him. So now this is what we get. We reward the grifters and liars, put them in the highest positions over everyone else. What else do we expect? At least this is about stupid advertising in a place that doesn’t do advertising (yet) rather than something that would actually be life threatening. However, the intention is for this to lead to justification for worse.

I’m guessing Paxton is dropping the case because he sees it as a deterrent for folks to vote for him in the runoff. Or let’s wait a week to see what other nonsense he starts up to garner attention for his race.

Guerillasurgeon's avatar

Were there ads in trump's Bible? Or was the price high enough that he didn't need them?

Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

The Bible was an ad, for Trump.

Joan the Dork's avatar

I mean... wasn't the entire thing an ad?

xenubarb's avatar

Or he realizes that "other religions" could advertise too!

oraxx's avatar

It’s pretty much all theater with Texas Republicans and Paxton is worse than most. He is a grotesquely corrupt and immoral specimen, but never-the-less tries to pander to the evangelical crowd. A crowd that never stops claiming to be persecuted when in fact they are probably the least persecuted group in this country.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

The thing is, though, if Paxton continues to fail at all this performative crap, eventually, at least some of his followers are going to start to wonder about him.

To which I say, GOOD!

cdbunch's avatar

Optimist. I've been through Beto, Alred, Abbot twice, Paxton at least once, and by a slim majority, this state always picks the worst candidate, no matter how much their life sucks, and they justify it by saying all of California is moving here.

Joan the Dork's avatar

The way that place is gerrymandered at this point, isn't it more like the worst candidate picks you?

John Smith's avatar

And the first to be willing and eager to persecute anyone not like them!

Bonnie Boyce's avatar

My most important takeaway: "Paxton, digging to find a culture war issue where none existed, said that was proof that DPS was treating religion unfairly." I agree completely with IPHawk. Fee shifting should definitely apply when public "servants" like Paxton waste time and resources on this crap.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

If there were no culture wars, Paxton would likely bust his butt to INVENT one. It's his raison d'etre, I suspect.

Joan the Dork's avatar

Culture wars and corruption- two! Two raisons d'etre! Culture wars, corruption, and marital infidelity𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯! I'll come in again.

larry parker's avatar

OT but driving related: Got a couple inches of snow overnight and it's still snowing. No big deal since it's 32F and supposed to get up to 40F this afternoon. The only problem is that I left the car outside because I thought it was going to rain and the car is a little dusty. Now I have to clear ALL the snow off the car. I absolutely hate it when people only clear a tiny hole on their front windshield.

Boreal's avatar

You need the RONCO ice melter blanket and and rotisserie cooker. Only $19.99.

Operators are standing by……

NOGODZ20's avatar

Earworm

youtu.be/9BX56syrmWQ

(Al and his band channeling the B-52s)

Joan the Dork's avatar

I caught a lucky break- it was in the 60s and 70s for a few days here. All the snow that stuck with us all winter long finally melted away, and I don't need 4WD just to get down my driveway anymore!

Eric's avatar

This won't be the only time Paxton does this. He'll come up with other vague, insignificant "concerns" to float his culture warrior status, then drop them before he actually has to follow through on them. It's the new Republican way - broadcast your status as a culture warrior without any intention of actually following through.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Entirely possible. Virtue-signaling is less about actually DOING something than it is LOOKING as though you are doing something ... or MIGHT do something ... or you're THINKING about doing something. 😝

Joan the Dork's avatar

Or that you're 𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦 to thinking.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

THINKING??? Watch yer language! 😡🤪

Old Man Shadow's avatar

A lot of Texan voters apparently like false piety, hypocrisy, maliciousness, greedy, and rampant self-centeredness though.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

That's their brand of Christianity in a nutshell!

mechtheist's avatar

As a Texan, I'm so proud of my state in its continuing efforts to out-crazy Florida.

cdbunch's avatar

DeSantis still has an edge on Abbot. But of course, we all know number 2 tries harder, so it's only going to get worse here.

Len Koz's avatar

Abbot is number 2 in so many ways...

Alverant's avatar

Did someone remind Paxton that non-Christians would also be able to buy ads?

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Jews could buy ads! MUSLIMS could buy ads!!! Ohmygoodness, Scientologists could buy ads! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO??? 😱😱😱

ericc's avatar

When you see "Eat Mor Chkn", is that god-fearing Chik-fil-a advertising or is it blasphemous Hindu advertising? OMG we best not allow either in case the heathens take advantage of it!

NOGODZ20's avatar

Even TST could buy adds!

John Smith's avatar

Now, that would be fun to watch the right wing jesusfuckers head explode.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

The Satanic Temple??? EEEEK!!!

Joe King's avatar

Their ad needs to run right next to the megachurch ad.

SPW's avatar

EVERYBODY could buy an ad!

Troublesh00ter's avatar

[TS channels Oprah!] You, get and ad, and YOU get and ad, and 𝗬𝗢𝗨 get an ad...!

Joe King's avatar

𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡’𝑠… 𝑖𝑡? 𝐻𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑐𝑎𝑠𝑒, 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑖𝑡

That's his entire motivation. Get the headlines showing his base that he's going to push Christian Fucking Privilege more than Cornyn. Curious how he dropped the case right after the primaries....

Joan the Dork's avatar

The "𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦!" desperation of some of these Nat-C clowns is truly a sight to behold.

Hyder Simpson's avatar

I wonder what the staff lawyers in the office think. Could he be getting any pushback from them like Trump appointees have gotten on the federal level with no one willing to make an appearance in court to argue the case so aside from the initial filing it goes nowhere.

Guerillasurgeon's avatar

"Paxton, digging to find a culture war issue where none existed"

Because culture war is all they got. :)

NOGODZ20's avatar

For them, it beats concentrating on real issues in Texas.

Joan the Dork's avatar

Awwww who needs a weather-resistant power grid, anyway?

cdbunch's avatar

Too busy drowning women and children with razorwire in the river. Or separating children and parents ("Indian" schools round 5?)

ericc's avatar

Disreputable prosecutor wastes public monies as well as defendent's time, money, and stress levels, just to score political points? Who'd a thunk it? Why, next thing you know legislators will be sponsoring bills that have no hope of passing, just to be seen doing it!

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Hey, why bust your ass trying to actually ACCOMPLISH something when you can be all performative and virtue-signal your way through life?

UGH! Yeah, I actually typed that! 🤢🤮

John Smith's avatar

I agree with Joe King, this was a ploy to rile his idiotic supporters to get through the primaries, otherwise if he thought he ACTUALLY had a case he would continue to pursue it. Due to the fact he dropped it right after the primaries, indicates that he was never really serious in seeing it through.

What a goddamm fucking putz of scumbag, too bad the fines won’t come out of his OWN pocket but from the taxpayers. If I was in Texas, and saw my government officials doing this, I would be outrage by the waste of money. That is just me though!

Michelle in Texas's avatar

Not that it’ll matter to the true crazies, but picking out a handbook section on placing ads in a driver’s manual is pretty lame.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Whoa, Paxton backed down? Gee whiz, someone must have confronted him with something nasty ... like FACTS. And 15.131 (2)(A) in Title 37 sure seems pretty factual to yours truly.

Won't stop Paxton from trying, though. I'm sure he'll find some other venue to sell his snake oil.

Joan the Dork's avatar

Psh, 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘴 hold no sway over Kenny P! Must've been something else. Blackmail, maybe?

Troublesh00ter's avatar

It WOULD be interesting to know just WHY Kenny backed off.

Joan the Dork's avatar

I'd say "what a tool" but... tools are useful.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Trade the "T" for an "F."