268 Comments
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oraxx's avatar

Ken Paxton in absolutely counterfeit. He is as corrupt as they come and always has been. Texas Senate Republicans did not acquit Paxton on the charges that got him impeached, they circled the wagons and acquitted him because he's a Republican. Before he is allowed to present himself as some poor, persecuted Christian, it should be noted his wife divorced him because he is a serial philanderer.

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Linda's avatar

He’s also a proud misogynist who wants to arrest and/or kill women in his state trying to receive healthcare.

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Bensnewlogin's avatar

Sometimes he philanders Count Chocula, sometimes Tony the tiger.

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Donrox's avatar

Caffeine must have kicked in!

O/T I found out that I can buy Peet's French Roast at three stores within a mile of my home in Third World Jonesboro, Arkansas!

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avis piscivorus's avatar

Why confuse the readers with advertisements in an official drivers handbook?

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

Apparently, Texas is CHEAP, and needs additional revenue to support the state government. 😝

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RegularJoe's avatar

If done properly, this could be a nice public-private partnership that saves tax dollars.

Of course, we're talking about Texas, and it's their collective level of cognitive abilities that elected Paxton, so........

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Matri's avatar

They learned from the churches, who always inject advertisements into their church prayers.

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The Epistler's avatar

Seriously? As in, "this prayer was brought to you by NOKIA"?? I mean it's insane enough to be real.

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Matri's avatar

More like, “we need more money, gimme”

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The Epistler's avatar

God wants me to be rich and therefore unworthy of getting into heaven wait scratch that last part gimme da cash.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

my sentiments exactly. it make no sense to put ads of any kind in the driver's handbook.

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Nevoustrumpezpas's avatar

Oh, I don't know. The driver's handbook might be a good place for the ad of some organization selling prepaid burial plots--in case the other guy didn't read the manual and plowed into your car at an intersection.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

lol

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Don't forget the personal injury attorneys.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

Maybe the defense can remind the court about Paxton’s previous fraud convictions, if not in court in the media so that he can’t hide from them. He wants attention for his campaign, make sure it’s not attention that makes him look appealing. He says, “look at how I protect Christians.” They say, “he’s a fraud and liar, and a cheat.” He pretends he’s working for the people, they remind the people that he was stealing from them.

We have to be more cutthroat about the elections nowadays. We can’t just accept their narrative and play their patsies, we have to fill the conversation with the narrative of reality. The reality that these people are criminals, they’re willing to kill for their agenda, they’re villains. They call her a terrorist when the only ones afraid of her presence were the ICE agents trying to terrorize her neighborhood. We have to fight this with everything we have, because they will take everything from us if we don’t.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

if only. sadly our leadership is too enamored of comity to fight. hopefully the next generation, the Squad or Mamdani for example, has some fortitude for the fight.

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dammit barry's avatar

Pretty near every reliigion clims it alone has truth, and all otthers are wrong. KKKatliks made violence the law of the land cuz "god " demanded death to those wiith false gods.

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oraxx's avatar

I would love to see that smirk wiped off his face.

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Joe King's avatar

𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑛𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝐺𝑜𝑑’𝑠 𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑎𝑛𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑒𝑔𝑒 𝑛𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑤𝑠.

"Help! We're being terribly persecuted because this law allowing ads that nobody is using says we can't use those ads that aren't there to push our (and only our) religion!".

A quick solution to this nonexistent problem? Have the Texas DPS issue an official policy saying "no ads, period." Of course, that wouldn't appease Paxton's persecution complex. If the state isn't officially pushing Jesus, then Christians are being persecuted.

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Stephen Brady's avatar

So Texass gets double dipped here. Paxton's lawyers are suing the State and likely will have to defend it against his bogus suit... This creep needs to be retired from politics.

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Matri's avatar

I’ve reached the point where I believe they all need to be retired from life.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

"Forget it, Jake. It's Texas."

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RegularJoe's avatar

The law allows for them. Perhaps they can adopt a policy to not publish ads.....as long as the law is a "may" and not a "shall".

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Bensnewlogin's avatar

Invented religious persecution is just like God. It doesn’t actually need to exist, you need only believe that it exists.

That is a rather striking coincidence.

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Jennifer's avatar

This guy is a complete waste of human existence. Sometimes evolution gives us shining examples of evolutionary failures. Ken Paxton is one of those times.

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Matri's avatar

Also MAGAts and Republicans and right-wingers in general.

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Old Man Shadow's avatar

It hasn't happened, so it's hypothetical for now, but frankly If printing a religious advertisement in an official government document was not a government endorsement of religion, I have no idea what would be.

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RegularJoe's avatar

I can see it being non-endorsement if they offer equal access to all.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

Ugh. Paxton again. Honestly, I'm not convinced that that man could buy a clue at K-Mart, even if it were the Blue Light Special. He apparently cannot be bothered to recognize or follow the laws he is tasked with enforcing, but would seemingly prefer to make things up as he goes. He is borderline LAWLESS.

Not exactly the quality that any state would want in an attorney general.

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Stephen Brady's avatar

Well, look at what the US has for an attorney general...

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

Thanks, but I'd rather not. I just had breakfast! 😝

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Joe King's avatar

If one were to hand him a clue, gift wrapped with a sign on it declaring "THIS IS A CLUE!" he still wouldn't get it.

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Tinker's avatar

If you hit him over the head with a clue-by-four, he wouldn't get it.

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Jill Barrow's avatar

Ugh. (See my note below?)

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avis piscivorus's avatar

Is Ken Paxton trying to beat Ted Cruz for the Texas award of worst politician?

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larry parker's avatar

Louie Gohmert says what about me?

(I know he is retired.)

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RegularJoe's avatar

(We're not supposed to use that word anymore, it's a slur. Oh, 𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅..... I thought you said, well, nevermind. Accurate, though.)

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larry parker's avatar

That flashed through my mind as I was typing.

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RegularJoe's avatar

It's worse when it flashes through the just-trying-to-be-helpful autocorrect and your mind doesn't catch it. 🙂

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wreck's avatar

Greg Abbot would like a word...

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Jill Barrow's avatar

Oh dear, cld we give out more awards? There's so many that deserve it (Greg Abbott, for example)!!

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Boreal's avatar

̶K̶e̶n̶ ̶P̶a̶x̶t̶o̶n̶’̶s̶ ̶l̶a̶t̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶l̶e̶g̶a̶l̶ ̶s̶t̶u̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶u̶r̶n̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶d̶r̶i̶v̶e̶r̶’̶s̶ ̶m̶a̶n̶u̶a̶l Xtians turn everything into a prop for Christian Nationalist grievance politics.

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Eric's avatar

This is simply another attempt by Paxton to assert himself as some christian warrior. He's so desperate to project a wholesome, god-fearing image, but as has been noted, his wife divorced him because of multiple affairs. Truly a person who has bought into the notion of identity politics.

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Holytape's avatar

Next thing your going to say is that I can not advertise my combination stripclub and haberdashery in the Dallas/Fort Worth Official Building Codes? Whatever happened to free speech?

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

You'll always have a place to hang your hat.

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Holytape's avatar

Unless it's cold.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

You Can Leave Your Hat On.

-- Randy Newman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDXOH861jvA

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NOGODZ20's avatar

"Jesus, Take the Wheel."

Of course if he did that, he'd have a wreck. Dude is used to riding stolen donkeys/colts.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

I shudder to think what J would make of a manual transmission! 😂

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dammit barry's avatar

Chunks of broken metal.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

And a LOT of smelly smoke from the clutch (presuming he even figures out what a clutch is for!).

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Len Koz's avatar

Two at a time!

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vibing.'s avatar

Actually, Jesus drove a Honda. John 12:49.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

it's a permanent stain on Texas that this yutz is not only not in jail for multiple felonies but is the sate's AG. I men wtaf Texas?!?

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Jill Barrow's avatar

See my note below 💜

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larry parker's avatar

How will new drivers ever learn about Jesus if he's not allowed to advertise?

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Maltnothops's avatar

OT: I’ve been feeling fortunate all day because I narrowly escaped what could have been serious injury around 5 AM. I got up to pee (because of course I had to do that — it had been at least 3 hours!). And the bathroom rug slipped on the floor causing me to fall forward and bang my head on the shower door. I fell down loudly enough to wake my bride. I somehow broke a fingernail about halfway back from the front edge. And later I realized that if I had been 6 inches to the left, I might well have impaled my forehead on the shower door handle. There’s a decorative hunk of metal that sticks up about 1.5 inches from the functional part of the handle.

So, that’s my good news for the day.

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dammit barry's avatar

Several years ago in a suicide attempt, I came to, walked into the bathroom. Blood allover the floor, my face a bloody mess. The toilet, anchored in concrete was loose. I still have no idea how

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Maltnothops's avatar

I’m glad you are still here. I come to FA later in the day to catch up on your memes and other postings. And — this might be a sore point — but they are easy to find because Newest First always works for me.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

I've rung my bell a couple of times. Still amazed that I didn't crack my skull on either occasion. The doctors made sure there was no fracture and no bleeding on the brain.

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Guerillasurgeon's avatar

I forgot to duck for a fallen tree across my running track a year or so ago. It's true, you do see stars

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Get any autographs?

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Mosh pits?

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

Just glad you're okay, man. 👍

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Maltnothops's avatar

Thank you.

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Boreal's avatar

That's scary stuff. Hope you are okay. I was prescribed amoxicillin (which I've taken before) last year for an sinus infection. I took my first dose and a few minutes later found myself lying on the kitchen floor. I managed to get up but felt nauseous so got myself to the bathroom and found myself again on the floor, this time tile. I yelled and my spouse woke up and came in to help me up. I couldn't walk so I just sat on the floor for about 15 minutes. It was terrifying.

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Maltnothops's avatar

Thank you. I’ve had a mild headache all day but that’s it. It is scary. The loss of control … the suddenness.

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Boreal's avatar

It is very scary. My doctor put no more amoxicillin in my records. I didn't remember much of anything. My husband said I was completely out of it.

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Lucky. The TBT's Roy Peter Clark, who was 80 at the time, decided to pee standing up. It was in the early morning. He slipped and wound up wedged between the toilet and the tub. Worse, he and his wife were sleeping in separate bedrooms.

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