237 Comments
User's avatar
avis piscivorus's avatar

What image is the most scary?

A big eye staring at you?

A mouth that has been sewn closed?

A torture and execution device?

Expand full comment
Troublesh00ter's avatar

In THIS instance, I don't find the cross scary, just STUPID.

Expand full comment
dammit barry's avatar

Imaginary things don't scare me. Gods don't murder people. People with gods murder people.

Expand full comment
Troublesh00ter's avatar

Ba-da-bing.

Expand full comment
Linda's avatar

🤣

Expand full comment
Sko Hayes's avatar

I saw a meme online of Jesus saying "What part of my story made you think I LIKE CROSSES?"

Expand full comment
Troublesh00ter's avatar

Why do I smell some internet ballot-stuffing here? If this were contest with, say, two or three or four judges, it would be one thing, but with open voting and likely some hotshot Christians who want to make a statement ... well, there's the result.

What surprises me is that there wasn't an uproar about associating Christianity with a [dah-dah-DAAAAAH!] Pagan Holiday!

Expand full comment
dammit barry's avatar

From what I have seen nearly ALL kkkrisster holidays are copied from Pagan holidays.

Expand full comment
Matri's avatar

In other words, how very MAGA of them.

Expand full comment
Donrox's avatar

It is All Hallows Evening which precedes All Soul's Day on November1st.

Expand full comment
Boreal's avatar

Every other entry was superior to that piece of crap with a torture device, poorly hacked into the side. The only pumpkin worse than that is infesting the White House.

Expand full comment
Eric's avatar

Imagine being so insecure in your faith that you're compelled to vote for the most half-assed entry in a pumpkin carving contest, just because it's a cross.

Expand full comment
dammit barry's avatar

Insecure? Scared shitless? My money is on the fer. Religion needed jesus and his threat of ETERNAL punishment to really scare people. Being dead like the old man and spook did, really did not frighten anyone. God's death was no consciousness. Jeezy's conscious punishment was what religion needed to really scare people.

Expand full comment
Cronette's avatar

My bet is Isabella just has a large extended family with little taste but a lot of fondness for their family member’s effort.

Expand full comment
Daniel Rotter's avatar

Way, way off-topic, but I just want to give a shout out to all veterans reading this on Veterans' Day. I know our own Barry and "NOGODZ" are military veterans.

Expand full comment
dammit barry's avatar

Not in Nam. I was training infantry 2nd Looeys to go get shot at in Nam. Also got involved in testing weapons, rappelling and testing night scopes. Testing was the coolest part.

I was watching Discovery Channel document training Rangers. In Dahlonega GA, mountain training showed them rappelling down the same cliff I did. They did it with 70 pound sacks. I did it for fun. The hard part was getting back to the top to go back down again. The toughest part? Leaning back and trusting that rope was unnerving when leaving a Huey. You had to fall backward until vertical. If you didn't you banged your skull on the Huey's runner.

Dad saw plenty of action in the South Pacific.

Expand full comment
Donrox's avatar

My dad worked on General Eisenhower's staff at Allied Forces Headquarters in Naples. He was the original Antifa

Expand full comment
BJW's avatar

My dad was in charge of fixing airplanes, so served as a support troop. I believe he was stationed in France (but def Europe).

By the time of the Cold War, he was the highest non-com rank (forgot the name). He had stories. I miss him. If he was here he'd hate Trump.

Expand full comment
Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Sgt. Major?

Expand full comment
Daniel Rotter's avatar

Got it. I edited my post.

Expand full comment
Crowscage's avatar

Rappelling always scared me more that jumping did for some reason.

Expand full comment
Crowscage's avatar

Thanks.

Expand full comment
Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Which reminds me, Regular Joe seems to be AWOL.

There's also Oraxx.

Expand full comment
NOGODZ20's avatar

Oraxx appears in this article's thread. And Regular Joe appears in the new article about Paul Ostapa.

(At the moment, Regular Joe is upvoting myself and others)

Expand full comment
Boreal's avatar

I can't believe they didn't vote for my pumpkin..........................

https://ibb.co/gLvcWSSh

Expand full comment
Maltnothops's avatar

I can’t quite read the book title. Something about either taxes or Texas.

I’ve read books about taxes on the toilet.

Expand full comment
avis piscivorus's avatar

The main rule was that the pumpkins couldn’t be “distasteful, political, or inappropriate.”

Expand full comment
Boreal's avatar

Many people are saying it is the best pumpkin they've ever seen. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

😄😄

Expand full comment
Troublesh00ter's avatar

Strike THREE!!!

Expand full comment
Hannah's avatar

Dammit. I went over an hour without Assmouth yammering about something and you go and carve a pumpkin with his fucking face on it? Why would you do that to me.

Expand full comment
Holytape's avatar

it was not the simple design that won the contest. That's not a pumpkin. That was Jesus's original foreskin. And you have to vote for the foreskin.

Expand full comment
larry parker's avatar

Can't be. I bought Jesus's foreskin on eBay the other day.

Expand full comment
Troublesh00ter's avatar

Along with pieces of the cross! Ooooo, goodie! 🤦‍♂️

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Did you buy Hemant' soul too ?

Expand full comment
larry parker's avatar

Naw, I don't need a soul.

Expand full comment
dammit barry's avatar

Which foreskin is the real one? There are a dozen or so churches claiming to have jeezy's foreskin.

Expand full comment
Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

All of them. They keep growing back.

Expand full comment
Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Are you sure they are not one of Proinsias Cassidy's?

Expand full comment
Matri's avatar

According to Cracked a couple decades ago, there were enough Jesus foreskins to build at least 4 complete penises (penii?)

Expand full comment
Maltnothops's avatar

“ penises (penii?)”

Cocks.

Expand full comment
Crowscage's avatar

After hacking it off so many times it's more penum at this point.

Expand full comment
Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

That can easily become a nightmare.

𝐖𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐬 𝐀𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐈𝐬 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐃𝐨𝐳𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐑𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐒𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/woman-begs-animal-control-help-163729667.html

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

I want to be South Korean (food and historical dramas). On n'a pas toujours ce qu'on veut dans la vie.

Expand full comment
Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

I’ve been to both, France is nicer. But that is my opinion and it might have been influenced by the reason I was in South Korea.

They’re both better than the USA right now.

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

South Korea is still heavily influenced by neo confucianism + you have to add conservative christianity.

Expand full comment
The Epistler's avatar

Oh come on, that pumpkin is fucking LAME. It probably took five minutes to carve. What an insult to the people who put actual time and skill into it.

Expand full comment
Crowscage's avatar

That's what christains do. Piss all over anything to mark territory and do it with a shitty inferior copy.

Expand full comment
The Epistler's avatar

Very true. "Christian" movies, music, etc.. 99.9% of it is nothing but lame ripoffs of actually good art with a heap of propaganda shoved in. There's a Finding Nemo ripoff called Finding Jesus which literally consists of creepy dead-eyed fish hanging around endlessly talking about how great Jesus is as if they're in a brainwshed cult.

...Oh right. "As if". Yeah.

Expand full comment
Joan the Dork's avatar

Fortunately, countering this trick in the future should be dead easy. Just have a small group of concerned citizens carve a bunch of pumpkins with various words associated with Christianity- Jesus, faith, Lord, numbers referencing Bible passages, etc.- and you'll dilute the churchy-hobgoblin vote enough to allow someone with actual artistic talent to win!

Expand full comment
Matri's avatar

Remember when Trump’s Gestapo raided the Hyundai plant and deported 400 South Koreans?

They’re filing a class action lawsuit against the Gestapo!

Expand full comment
Maltnothops's avatar

One of her better days, actually.

(I apologize for the low blow of judging her by her appearance. It was wrong of me and I am deeply…..deeply…. (snorts under my breath)…asham…(snickers audibly)….It was rude of me to beha…..(covers laugh with hand) … Appearances are irrelevant. I apologize to the bigot.

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

She is an ugly cunt Outside, inside and innards.

Don't hold your breath waiting for an apology 😉

Expand full comment
larry parker's avatar

Apologize. You just insulted ugly cunts.

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

*Ask her ugly cunt what to do.

Ugly cunt 🖕🖕

Expand full comment
Maltnothops's avatar

There was a time in my life when I didn't see nearly enough cunts. Ugly, lovely, average? I would not have cared.

Expand full comment
Guerillasurgeon's avatar

Appearances must be pretty irrelevant she's had 3 or 4 husbands right?

Expand full comment
John Smith's avatar

That’s an insult to orcs!

Expand full comment
Matri's avatar

“ Answers in Genesis accused Jones of starting with a predetermined conclusion and working backward.”

https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bf0c2e81a64497c0dfe1db26dc57a302cef384a597aff1d866d5b608dcce9db2.gif

Expand full comment
Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

How bad do you have to be for AIG to call you out?

Expand full comment
Troublesh00ter's avatar

Wow ... talk about pot calling kettle black!

Expand full comment
larry parker's avatar

Yeah, that's pretty bad.

Expand full comment
Maltnothops's avatar

I remember this from the 1970s. Literally the same guy?

If memory serves, the 1970s photo was ultimately revealed to show a rock formation far, far smaller than the biblical description of the ark. 20 feet long and 6 feet wide or some such. (I made up the numbers but not the concept.)

Expand full comment
Guerillasurgeon's avatar

Yeah that's been debunked for years. Just a rock formation. Well known.

Expand full comment
larry parker's avatar

Not the same guy. Andrew Jones is fairly young. 30s or 40s maybe.

Expand full comment
Maltnothops's avatar

Ah, thank you for correcting my error.

Expand full comment
larry parker's avatar

I saw the Jone's episode on Forbidden History a few years ago. My impression then was young and gullible.

From the article; "“amateur archaeologist” Ron Wyatt had made the same claim in the 1970s and 1980s, building on evangelical Christian speculation that dates back to a Life magazine photo of the site in 1960."

You may have been thinking of Wyatt. I remember Life magazine, although not that issue. I wasn't born until '61. : )

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

I want to know the level of bullshit of these fauxcumentaries. I hope I can watch them.

Expand full comment
larry parker's avatar

I saw it on The Science Channel, so you know everything is true. /s

My favorite is How the Universe Works. It seems pretty factual although they get into some wild speculation once in a while. Other shows are hit and miss. I like to play spot the fallacy.

Expand full comment
Boreal's avatar

I hate living in the dumbest timeline.

Expand full comment
Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

Are the zip lines still intact?

Expand full comment
larry parker's avatar

They had a problem with the lions in the petting zoo.

Expand full comment
Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

Next year, I'm going to submit a "used" pumpkin from one of those pumpkin fucking pastors.

And dear autocorrect, it was most definitely not "ducking."

Expand full comment
Maltnothops's avatar

OT: Christian Post has a story about Tucker Carlson claiming he was once attacked by a demon.

One of the points of contention in the comments relates to the sex of demons. Are there any female demons? If not, does that mean demons are male or are they neither male nor female? You can readily guess how important this is given that the commenters reject trans “ideology” and refuse the idea of preferred pronouns.

So I innocently asked which pronouns demons prefer. Hilarity ensued.

Expand full comment
Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Not that bullshit again. It's old news, and was debunked months ago. fucker trashson sleeps with his pets 🙄

Expand full comment
John Smith's avatar

I hope that is all he does with his pets is sleep?🤨

Expand full comment
dammit barry's avatar

Lovie loves to curl up in my lap.

Expand full comment
Guerillasurgeon's avatar

Isn't a female Demon a succubus or something? They can't be very fussy if they attacked Tucker.

Expand full comment
ericc's avatar

Yeah AFAIK the concept has a pretty long history. I'm surprised fundies and RCCs wouldn't know about it, it seems like the sort of esoteric theology they could obsess over.

Expand full comment
Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Yes. They would know that if they had played D&D.

https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/17027-succubus

Expand full comment
Len Koz's avatar

Succubi are neutral evil now? They were chaotic evil back in my day.

Expand full comment
larry parker's avatar

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Female_demons

It's hilarious/sad that they have a subcategory of fictional female demons.

Expand full comment
Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

AH, I presume.

Expand full comment
Maltnothops's avatar

All the jack o lanterns I see except for that one are fantastic! Stealing some of those ideas!

Of all the ones I’ve ever carved, my favorite was a spiral. Kind of like a slinky. I got a pumpkin that was taller than wide. I cut entirely around it in very thin layers and propped those layers up so candle light shone thru. The pumpkin was about foot tall when I bought it. After I was done it was about 3 feet tall.

Expand full comment