313 Comments
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Joe King's avatar

The Paramus ordinance exempts food. If every store in that mall offers candy bars, they are selling food and can stay open. Malicious compliance is good.

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Jelly's avatar

Christianity and capitalism in conflict. Fascinating.

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Yamuna Ramachandran's avatar

I don't see why, if it's a mall all under one roof, that the food court and the Hmart doesn't suffice to allow the whole place to stay open. Some retail stores like Macy's sells chocolate at the registers already. I'm not sure how the law is applied because even stores that sell food are closed on Sundays. The Paramus IKEA is closed on Sundays, leaving only Saturday to get your Swedish meatball fix.

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Joe King's avatar

Well, if a store that chooses to sell food also closes in Sunday, that is their option. I'm just pointing out the loophole.

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Maltnothops's avatar

That was my immediate thought as well. Sell some food.

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nmgirl's avatar

They would invoke St. RFKJr. claiming that chocolate isn't food.

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Len's avatar

Four major food groups:

Chocolate

Pizza

Beer *

Tequila

* Not entirely sure about this one. Latest analysis has been disturbed by non-alcoholic varieties. Heresy in my view.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

My take on RFK JR is that he IS the brainworm in his own head. That's why he looks like an overcooked Vienna sausage.

Any "Courage, the Cowardly Dog" fans here? Remember the episode "The Clutching Foot" that had Eustis suffering from a foot fungus that completely took him over and transformed him into a giant festering foot that took on a life of its own?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmOqwmpigRg

That's my view of RFK JR. And also, IMHO, Eustis now represents the terminally angry, terminally stupid MAGAt.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

To the religidiots who subscribe to the Ten Commandments...

The Sabbath is from Friday evening to Saturday evening. Bad enough you've got the wrong set of commandments, but at least get the Sabbath right. You're "Judeo-Christians," aren't you?

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avis piscivorus's avatar

Government is not allowed to show a preference for one religion over all others. Shops should stay closed on Fridays for Allah, Saturdays until sunset for Jahweh, Sundays for Jesus, Mondays for Shiva, Tuesdays for Mars, Wednesdays for Wodan and Thursdays for Thor.

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Len's avatar
1dEdited

Oops. Please ignore. Read it wrong.

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avis piscivorus's avatar

You were almost right. With this scheduling, shops are allowed to open on Saturday between sundown and midnight. That's the origin of the concept "Saturday Night Fever."

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Vanity Unfair's avatar

But what about the followers of the God, Saturn?

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avis piscivorus's avatar

Didn't think about them. If we ever want to go shopping again, we will need eight days a week.

Edit: Sorry, this will still not work. Pluterday is already dedicated to worshipping small green pieces of paper.

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Len's avatar

My fuel tank doesn’t hold enough to get me to Saturn and back. Who’s going to pay for the trip?

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RegularJoe's avatar

They're really more of a judo-Xtian bent. They weaponize that shit.

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Maltnothops's avatar

Stealing that.

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RegularJoe's avatar

One cannot steal that which is freely given. 🫡

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Joe King's avatar

They're only Judeo-Christians when it lets them say "See we're not Nazis."

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NOGODZ20's avatar

When I typed Judeo-Christians, it was with tongue planted firmly in cheek (hence the quotation marks). :)

Judeo-Christian is a purely Christian creation. Jews say "there's no such animal."

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Guerillasurgeon's avatar

And to Christians actually don't like the Judeo part, they just say it – dammit I'm not even sure why they say it.

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Len's avatar

They say it so they can force their version of the Jewish rules on everyone. Makes them feel superior.

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Aocm🇨🇦's avatar

We’re not Nazis, we’re Nat-Cs

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Nevoustrumpezpas's avatar

If you're a Judeo-Christian, shouldn't you observe both sabbaths--no shopping all weekend!

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Len's avatar

I’d love to see someone sell alcohol on Sunday, using that argument if questioned or sued.

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Old Man Shadow's avatar

Look... I'm not a theologian. But I've studied the Bible enough to know that God does not care about Fridays or Saturdays or Sundays.

In fact, the prophets say that God despises your religious observances unless you have built a society based on justice for the poor and marginalized.

So maybe, if you want to make "God" happy, instead of suing a mall, you could pass laws to make sure that workers are paid a living wage, that they can't be fired without cause, that new parents get paid leave, that sick workers get protections, that all employers provide workers with health insurance...

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

Old Man, you make sense. They do not.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

Hear, hear!

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Len's avatar
1dEdited

“In fact, the prophets say that God despises your religious observances unless you have built a society based on justice for the poor and marginalized.”

True, but the profits don’t agree.

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Darrell Lucus's avatar

The argument that I’ve heard is that the blue laws give Paramus a day of peace and quiet in one of the busiest areas of the Tri-State. Um, that argument might have flown before the Giants, Jets and Devils set up shop in East Rutherford.

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Joe King's avatar

It gives the city a day of rest. So all of those people there who have to work Monday through Saturday don't deserve to go shopping on their one day off. Nevermind the actual effect on the local economy, or the egregious violation of the first amendment...

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Matri's avatar

I’ve always hated this entire concept.

We need to work to be able to afford services.

But the services are only open during the times we’re working, meaning we can’t access those services.

So we need to take time off from work to use those services.

And for a not-insignificant number of places, taking time off means you don’t get money for that day.

So you’re losing money in order to spend money.

Capitalism: No fucking sense.

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John Smith's avatar

Religion: No fucking sense or decency!

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Lynn Veit's avatar

TELL me about it.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

That's why ATMs were a godsend for me. Otherwise I had to use my entire lunch hour once a week to do any banking business I needed to do. I always packed a lunch for that day and ate in my car, driving to and from. Eating at my desk was not allowed, although I did consume many a protein bar in odd corners by faking a need to go to the bathroom.

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E.A. Blair's avatar

So imagine what would happen if some judge declared that the blue laws also preclude having sports events on Sundays.

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cdbunch's avatar
2dEdited

The Apocalypse. Or Tuesday Night Football on Netflix.

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Darrell Lucus's avatar

That actually was a thing for a long time, as late as the 60s in some places. It would be unthinkable now.

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nmgirl's avatar

Small town Texass many years ago: we had a new preacher and he went a little long one sunday. He was promptly informed that he had to be done by 11:55 am so we (Methodists) could get home in time for Cowboy football and beat the Baptists.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

😅😅😅

In my hometown church, we had a real god-bothering preacher for a while, who was "horrified" that a televised sports event would "compete for souls" by broadcasting on a Sunday. This from a man who bragged on more than one occasion about how he "gave up" a promising career in major league baseball in order to carry on the work of gawd.

In the words of a popular anti drinking and driving PSA from that same era:

"Sure, Mac. Sure."

https://www.google.com/search?q=PSA+Sure+mac+sure&rlz=1CAXSDZ_enUS1160&oq=PSA+Sure+mac+sure&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIICAEQABgWGB4yDQgCEAAYhgMYgAQYigUyDQgDEAAYhgMYgAQYigUyDQgEEAAYhgMYgAQYigUyDQgFEAAYhgMYgAQYigUyCggGEAAYgAQYogQyBwgHEAAY7wUyBwgIEAAY7wUyBwgJEAAY7wXSAQg5MDM4ajBqN6gCALACAA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:25a04c26,vid:9lwq53kSX_U,st:0

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Lynn Veit's avatar

In my husband's case, that would be unthinkable. (Unthinkable to me as well, since I would have to put up with his bitching and belly-aching over it.)

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Stephen Brady's avatar

I'd bet the NJ State Legislature would come into special session and dispose of this unnecessary statute.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

Woo hoo! The ensuing shitstorm of angry protest would be most entertaining!

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Chris Titchmarsh's avatar

Let's face it, the Giants and Jets are doing everything they can to drive the punters away.

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nmgirl's avatar

What about all those people who have to work the sporting events? Are they given some special dispensation by doG that the people selling shorts in the mall don't get?

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Nevoustrumpezpas's avatar

Do they have any restrictions on airplanes etc. flying through their airspace?

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larry parker's avatar

Churches make a lot of money on Sundays. Close them down.

Not to mention traffic problems and poor tipping.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

They should be charged with fraud, as they sell a product that isn't real.

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E.A. Blair's avatar

They guarantee delivery, but only after you're dead.

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larry parker's avatar

When it absolutely, positively has to be there in eternity."

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Yes for the first, not the second. If they sell books but not food then they violate the blue laws (or they would if they had the legal status they should have, a business and not a non profit).

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Vanity Unfair's avatar

Well, the helpings are small but you can get wine and wafers in most places.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

At our church (Baptist) it was grape juice and crumbled saltines, cuz gawd says no imbibin' alkyhall.

Made me wonder why Jesus turned the water into wine if that were the case. Big Daddy probably had to have a word with him after that. I wonder if Jesus ever got taken to the woodshed.

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Boreal's avatar

'Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.'

-H.L. Mencken

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Mommadillo's avatar

When my family moved from Michigan (Dad’s home) to Missouri (Mom’s home) in the mid sixties, they still had blue laws. The grocery stores had these tarps that would roll down over the shelves with non-food items so you couldn’t see/buy them. Places that didn’t sell enough food items to support being open Sundays just closed for the day.

But even Missouri hillbillies repealed their blue laws, moving into the 20th Century if not the 21st. How backward do you have to be to get out-progressived by freaking Missouri?

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RegularJoe's avatar

New Jersey doesn't trust people to pump their own gasoline/diesel. Maybe Jesus should get involved in that racket.

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

Pumping your own is so overrated. We don’t pump gas in Oregon. We sit in our car, roll blunts, listen to righteous tunes, pet our doggos and wait for the paid help to finish with the smelly task before paying. That’s how it’s done.

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Kay-El's avatar

Actually, you can pump your own gas now in Oregon if you want. The point being, one has choices.

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

I never like to take anyone’s job away, even if it’s minimum wage. There’s always plenty of chores to do at home if I’m feeling perky.

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Joe King's avatar

I have pumped my own diesel in New Jersey. But, rules are different for large commercial trucks.

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cdbunch's avatar

Smokers by the gas pump and spillage are good reasons. More time to go into the store and spend money.

Does it apply to public electric car charging stations?

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Len's avatar

God’s in charge.

(Get it?)

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XJC's avatar

Allah will need to get involved. Because the Pakistanis control the gas stations.

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ericc's avatar

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑚𝑢𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑠, 𝑖𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑦 𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑐ℎ 𝑎𝑡 𝑀𝑒𝑡𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑢𝑚 𝑑𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑡𝑏𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑔𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠, 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑎 𝑤ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑠𝑒𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑏𝑙𝑒𝑚𝑠.

That, right there, is why they'll lose.

The mall is local news. But shutting down concession stands in Giants stadium on game day? That'll get the governors of both NJ and NY telling them to cut this crap out.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

♫♪ Money-money-money-money ... MONEY! ♪♫

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oraxx's avatar

I suppose asking the supporters of these archaic laws to document what actual good results from keeping stores closed on Sunday would be too much to ask. The religious right wants a country where pretty much everyone needs their approval for pretty much everything.

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Psittacus Ebrius's avatar

Stores on Sundays. Museums, universities closed everyday.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Good luck with that. By the 6th century, all learning centers were closed and destroyed, about 2 centuries later, Charlemagne (who spoke several languages but could barely read) created schools. 2 or 3 centuries later, universities were back in business in Europe and never closed since. 18th century, cabinets de curiosités (ancestors of modern museums) flourished. You can try to erase it as many times as you want, knowledge, like water, always find a way to resurface.

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Psittacus Ebrius's avatar

I forgot to mention that they are also busy building dams (figuratively) and walls.

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Len's avatar

“ … knowledge, like water, always find a way to resurface.“

True, but think of the effort and time involved to get back to where they were. What a waste of resources, just so someone can make the ceiling happy.

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oraxx's avatar

They won’t stay closed, and if anything such a measure would speed up the decline of religion.

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Psittacus Ebrius's avatar

We can only hope.

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avis piscivorus's avatar

"... 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝑠ℎ𝑢𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑."

So technically, only places like Chick-fil-A are allowed to be open on Sundays.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Sweet irony.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

People who don't want to go to church on Sundays, won't go. Even if stores are closed. There is other things to do : watching TV, sleeping in, reading books, hiking, camping... These blue laws are stupid and ruin the local economy more than anything.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

From where I sit, the whole Sunday-go-to-meeting crap was more a product of the whole religious promotional push of the post-war years. I still remember: "Find the strength for your life. Attend the church of your choice," and I'm sure a lot of the boomers here recall that as well. And as it comes to that:

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜 𝑠𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑜𝑚 𝑜𝑓 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑜𝑚 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑠𝑒.

-- David Hume

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

My great grandmother went to church anytime she wanted, her husband didn't. It never caused problems between them.

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Len's avatar

If you really believe, then it’s not a problem. It’s only when you’re doing it for show that it causes trouble.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

From what DM said, she was really a believer and not a show-off. Otherwise she wouldn't have dated and married an Atheist.

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Maltnothops's avatar

Item 10 in the OP, which Hemant highlighted, seems to not only rule out the selling of football jerseys on Sundays but also the actual playing of professional football.

(10) The public policy of our state is against all worldly employment on Sundays, except works of charity and necessity.

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larry parker's avatar

The Giants and the Jets don't really play pro football.

Go Bears and Steelers (I'm expecting a trainwreck for the Steelers this year).

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Professional or not, they still sell tickets and merch.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

Only worldly employment? So if I want to run a palm reading or tarot business, I can open on Sunday? Or does it only count if it’s church? I mean, it’s only Christianity that’s on Sunday, Judaism is Friday and/or Saturday, Islam is Friday.

Gosh, this can’t be a government imposition of religion at all, can it?

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Whitney's avatar

"So if I want to run a palm reading or tarot business"

Please, please, please do this and post the videos to YT. It'd be so funny.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

I thought that blue laws went out with the twist, and stipulated, I can't buy booze here in Ohio on a Sunday (so I buy it the other six days of the week!). Still, Bergen County is pretty clearly being a shit about this whole closed-on-Sunday business. I wonder if they've considered all the sales tax revenues they are losing by not having business conducted on Sundays.

Sadly, what we have here are stupid people being stupid about a stupid issue.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

They don’t care about money or traffic either for that matter. All they care about is god bothering.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

God-bothering AND exercising undo and unearned influence!

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Joe King's avatar

Cleveland is only about an hour and a half from the Michigan line, if you need booze on a Sunday.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

True, though that's a bit of a ways to go for a fifth of Glenlivet. Still, noted with thanks! 👍

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Donrox's avatar

When I was growing up in Michigan, you could not buy alcohol from 12-12 Sunday mornings, so that's a long drive to have to wait till noon.

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Hannah olufs's avatar

Sounds like rich stupid people.

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Stock up.

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Bensnewlogin's avatar

God-I-don’t-believe-in knows, I have had to write this so many times…

Freedom of religion is for me.

The freedom to follow my religion is for thee.

Let’s switch the closings to Friday, since it is all about whatever blue law proponents say it is about— anything but the obvious.

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larry parker's avatar

Wednesdays. Hump day is a real drag.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

For many years when I was growing up, my hometown virtually shut down every Thursday afternoon, to compensate workers for having to be open Saturday from 8 until noon.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

“These [retail] businesses with the encouragement and support of the mall’s ownership and the acquiescence of the other defendants here, have violated the law hundreds if not thousands of times since January of this year.”

Um, there hasn’t been hundreds or thousands of Sundays since January.

Oh wait, you are counting each sale as an infraction. That’s ridiculous. The law is about being open on Sunday, not for making a sale.

“they assured state regulators that they would comply with “existing blue laws that limit and preclude certain retail shopping activities on Sundays.”

Well, technically they did comply. If their location is not subject to the laws, then they are not required to be closed… according to the law.

Fun fact, my husband’s company built the waterpark there and he frequently visits for maintenance and repairs. He is rarely there on a Sunday.

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Linda Bower's avatar

Again, authoritarians want to remove choice. If you need rest on Sunday in particular, go right ahead. Leave the rest of us alone. I rest on whatever days I please and generally try to control my consumption of goods year round. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. How will we ever learn?

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Len's avatar

It’s all about imposing their will on others. Makes them feel important. If they could get it into their heads that the rest of us laugh at them, then they might, maybe grow up about it. But I wouldn’t hold my breath - they get a new shot of stupidity every Sunday.

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

"the rest of us laugh at them, then they might, maybe grow up about it"

No, they would just become even more violent.

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John Smith's avatar

Religion is humanity worst idea ever, and I mean ever!!!!!

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