112 Comments
User's avatar
oraxx's avatar

I can’t bring myself to have any sympathy for people who give their money to preachers. It’s their own damned fault for delegating an important part of their thinking to a fool who claims to be speaking for the almighty. Religion was born when the first con-artist met the first fool.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Most if not all the congregants of people like Kunneman have disconnected their cerebellum as they enter the sanctuary. They swallow the message whole and do as they're told, consequences be damned.

And it continues to astonish me that that is still the case.

Stephen Brady's avatar

Cerebrum, not cerebellum. The first is for thinking, the second for balance and repetitive tasks. Otherwise, I agree. Edit turned f into for.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

"Damnit, Jim, I'm an engineer, not a doctor!" 🤣🤣🤣

Stephen Brady's avatar

I understand. GORK why I post on on these Substacks written by lawyers…

NOGODZ20's avatar

An imaginary “almighty,” to boot.

Christopher Myson's avatar

Proverbs chap 13 verse 18

Matri's avatar

“A fool and their money are soon parted.”

Bensnewlogin's avatar

A snake and it oil are soon parted

XJC's avatar

You can't fix stupid. -- Not in the Bible

Jane in NC's avatar

Yet, those same people won't dare give a dime to a homeless person because 'they're not really homeless, they're hustlers.'

Bonnie Boyce's avatar

I am reminded of Janis Joplin's words, "Oh, Lord, won'tcha buy me a Mercedes Benz..."

Troublesh00ter's avatar

♫♪ My friends all drive Porsches / I must make amends! ♪♫

At least SHE asked the lord and not a bunch of her fans!

I should mention, too: there was a tribute performance at the Connor Palace Theater in Cleveland some years back where a young lady (with one hell of a voice!) portrayed Janis Joplin and told her story ... and the encore at the end consisted of her leading the audience in "Mercedes Benz!"

Joe King's avatar
3hEdited

And her desires were much simpler, too. Just a Mercedes-Benz, a TV, and a night out. She didn't even insist on a new one.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Pearl was the real deal ... and losing her HURT.

Maltnothops's avatar

My friends all drive Porsches

I must make amends.🎶

Maltnothops's avatar

Dammit, TS beat me by almost 2 minutes!!!

NOGODZ20's avatar

Don’t feel too bad. I didn’t even discover the previous article until it had been up for 4 hours.

Donrox's avatar

I mentioned the "real 10 commandments" hoping you would jump in and do the full explanation.

NOGODZ20's avatar

I pretty much lurked on the second article yesterday by upvoting as many people as I could while refraining from commenting. And once I get to the library, I'll still be catching up on both this article and the previous two articles.

Oy.

Michael's avatar

O Lord won't you buy me a color TV.

Dialing for Dollars is trying to reach me.

Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends

So Lord won't you buy me a color TV.

RegularJoe's avatar

I wait for delivery, each day until three.

("Worked hard..." is the third line of the Mercedes Benz verse.)

Michael's avatar

You are right. Half a century degrades memory…

RegularJoe's avatar

Yep. That's why I use the Google machine for stuff these days.

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒈 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒍𝒅.

(Beats the alternative.😉)

Eric's avatar

I think the obvious point here, which Hemant made, is that all of this money which is being asked for and spent on such ludicrous ideas, would go so much further in helping the sick and the needy - the very people these preachers claim to care about.

I can't tell if it's arrogance, or delusion, or cynicism, or all three.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Clearly a combination of ingredients, not unlike a doctor's prescription ... for IVERMECTIN!

Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

It’s greed. They see that folks will give money if it’s for god and don’t question what it actually goes for, so they take advantage of them and fill their own pockets.

XJC's avatar

Pray to God to help you figure it out.

While you're doing that, Hank's on his way to Cabo.

Joe King's avatar

“𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 [𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢] 𝑖𝑠 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡 𝑎𝑓𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑑, 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑑𝑢𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼’𝑚 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒… 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑒 [𝑜𝑟] 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠. 𝑂𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑦.”

Has Kunneman not heard of telephones? They can even do video calling now! And why is it so important that he return to his church by Sunday? I mean, there are probably associate pastors who can fill in. And there are the aforementioned video calls. He doesn't have to be there in person, especially since much of his congregation attends by video.

I guess the grift has gotten him to feel entitled to the lifestyle of extreme wealth. And the rubes will give it to him.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

It's not just the grift. It's his ego and his own determination that his greed needs to be satisfied, regardless. What kills me is that his congregation may not see it for what it is.

Sko Hayes's avatar

Why does KENNETH COPELAND have a jet and I DO NOT??

NOGODZ20's avatar

You need to get right with Jesus. THEN he will pour down his blessings upon you. ;)

Sko Hayes's avatar

My neighbor down the street is named Jesus, we've been buddies for years. I'm going to go ask why he hasn't blessed me yet.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Unless you have the scratch to maintain a corporate jet, trust me, YOU DON'T WANT ONE. Yearly maintenance can run into high five figures, not including fuel, and A&P mechanics aren't cheap!

Sko Hayes's avatar

I bought a used Land Rover once, I learned my lesson.

NOGODZ20's avatar

Looking at Mark 3:9, one has to ask the simple question:

What does a man who can walk on water need with a boat?

Troublesh00ter's avatar

At the risk of citing an old and well-worn trope, the same thing god needs with a starship.

Donrox's avatar

Kudos, my friend!

RegularJoe's avatar

Jesus. Was. Concerned. About. Airports.

He was also involved in ramming the ramparts.

wreck's avatar

He got it from the horse's orifice:

"Trump praised the Americans’ military efforts in the war against Great Britain. “Our army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do, and at Fort McHenry, under the rockets’ red glare, it had nothing but victory,”"

https://time.com/5620936/donald-trump-revolutionary-war-airports/

Lynn Veit's avatar

Jeez, I didn't know they had planes in the Revolutionary War.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Ahhh ... but would he Ram-a-Lam-a-Ding-Dong?

Die Anyway's avatar

Would he ram a lamb? I'm guessing he might.

Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

Woah Black Betty, bam a lam.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Further Thought: Strikes me, there is a term that could be applied to grifts like the one Kunneman is pulling here: "Biblical Extortion." Isn't that what this is about? Strong-arming people to give money where it is emphatically NOT NEEDED, because bible or evangel or some other related lame reason.

And because the average Joe is still afraid of going to hell, they'll fall for it ... again and again and again.

John Smith's avatar

This is the same bunch of idiotic people that buys Trump’s cheap crap, so yet another example of RELIGION DESTROYING THE MIND; MAKING PEOPLE EXTREMELY STUPID, GULLIBLE, AND CRUEL!

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Greed. Greed, greed, and MORE greed ... and while we're at it, avarice. As Hemant himself notes, this isn't the first time we've heard this song. Personally, I'm astonished that, considering the history with Creflo Dollar and the others, that Kunneman would go there, but go there, he did.

The question now is whether his congregation will go for it, and I for one am not sanguine about their answer.

Stephen Brady's avatar

His congregants only believe what he tells them, and I’m sure Creflow Dollar and Kenneth Copeland were never reported on State Television.

Linda's avatar

It’s the Christian Nationalist grift in a nutshell. What’s worse is the people who follow or give money to this nonsense. I do agree that flying internationally is breeze compared to trying to get literally anywhere domestically within the USA. Gee, I wonder why that is? Where’s all the money going?

Linda's avatar

Btw, this is hilarious and related. Jokes about the 1% flying back and forth to the Hamptons non-stop and refusing to take another slightly longer route (by a few minutes) to avoid flying over huge swaths of residential neighborhoods are running rampant. It’s out of fucking control!

https://stopthechopnynj.org

NOGODZ20's avatar

Send him those bible tracts that look like $20.00 dollar bills.

RegularJoe's avatar

Those are fun to toss into collection plates when stuck attending church events. 🙂

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Oh, terrific. Leave a worthless piece of paper instead of a tip. That's going to go over REAL BIG, won't it? /s

NOGODZ20's avatar
1hEdited

There are atheist versions of these xtian money tracts, but they encourage critical thinking, secular ethics and logical reasoning. Send Hank the Stank a few of these as well. Sauce for the goose.

Lynn Veit's avatar

I must have been in third or fourth grade the first time I heard about the tactic. Even then, I realized what a shitty trick that was.

Joe King's avatar

When I need to tip, I generally tip much more than the regular percentage, to help make up for the assholes who refuse to tip. If we could get rid of tipping by paying people an actual living wage, that would be good. But until that happens, my tips will be generous.

Die Anyway's avatar

Ok, I put an envelope on the table and prayed over it. God told me to send this message to "prophet" Kunneman:

Dear Pastor Kunneman, be like Jesus. If you need to go somewhere, take up a cross and walk.

NOGODZ20's avatar

Want to be even closer to your savior, Hanky Panky? Be sure to receive a scourging and a crown of thorns before taking up your cross to heighten the experience (and no cheating by putting wheels on it like some of your brethren).

Joe King's avatar

To put wheels on his cross, he would have to remove them from the goalposts.

KaZ: IN THE WORLD's avatar

Jesus was concerned about going to airports? I can’t even wrap my mind around the fact that anyone would hear or read that and think “yeah, that makes sense”. I used to listen to stories my dad would tell me about Jim and Tammy Faye Baker fleecing my grandparents. They were the kind of christians that went to revivals and practically lived at their church. Turned me off to religion in a very early age, starting with christianity.

Jack Mahoney's avatar

Yes, because annoying people with American voodoo should never be confined to one locale.

John Smith's avatar

United States exporting christian fascism to the rest of the world; that the rest of the world doesn’t WANT or NEED! 😠

Jack Mahoney's avatar

John, the overlooked issue is that to believe in an all-powerful God makes you incapable of participating in a democracy, where some decisions will not align with His.

Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

Okay, these jerks are complaining that they’re too close to the sinners when they fly commercial, but isn’t that supposed to be part of the work? Jesus ate with the prostitutes and thieves, these guys complain if they have to look at the disabled. What better way to reach the masses than to walk among them?

They’re doing god’s work my ass.

Lynn Veit's avatar

Walk among the unwashed hordes o' heathens? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!

NOGODZ20's avatar

I may be unwashed, but you won't find my name in the Epstein Files. :)

Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

“But those are logical approaches to an illogical problem. These guys are so arrogant, they’re convinced the only way to spread God’s message is through them.”

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Nope. It’s not an illogical problem, it is a clear problem that isn’t what they’re saying it is. The begging for plane money is not about being the only portal for reaching god. That is only their excuse that their rubes buy to give them money. They beg plane money because they want to be super wealthy and fly private jet. They get away with it because they do “The Lord’s Work” tm, but they also fly private jet to vacations and for grifting purposes. They live high on the hog while their congregations barely scrape by. They have enough money to be sheltered from the consequences of electing Trump, they even get to influence him, while their congregations vote for their own oppression just because these conmen tell them to. Then the pew sitters struggle and reach out to the grifters for more Jesus juice to make their lives just a little better. It’s an intentional cycle of dependency.

Name: lenora good, Guest's avatar

If it's really that important to god, why doesn't he just give them angel wings so they can fly at heavenly speed to wherever they need to go? he is a god of miracles, isn't he? or perhaps a Star Trek-like transporter????/meow/