417 Comments
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avis piscivorus's avatar

"God has a plan and purpose for your life"

correction...

"God has concepts of a plan"

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Matri's avatar

I’ll bet when he falls sick he goes to a doctor.

So much for “God’s plan”.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

He wears glasses. But maybe they dropped out of the sky.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

Yeah, like manna from Heaven! That's the ticket!

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cdbunch's avatar

"The plan is coming"

"It isn't even breathing hard"

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Keith E. Cooper's avatar

Too funny!

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cdbunch's avatar

Based on a line from "Real Genius", which sadly to say, even though I watched it practically daily at 14, I didn't get until years later.

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SherylMiller's avatar

That’s funny 😁

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Claudia's avatar

Made me laugh!

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rc4797's avatar

The jokes write themselves with these morons.

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Julius Dedekind's avatar

Christo-fascist pricks. Maybe they should lose THEIR job next election.

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PollyProletariat's avatar

There are no elections in Trump's kingdom.

https://nitter.net/Acyn/status/1894952829372215348

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Lynn Veit's avatar

No elections that aren't rigged to kingdom come, at any rate. I figure they might carry out sham elections for a cycle or two, then they won't bother anymore.

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SherylMiller's avatar

I will do everything I can to make that happen. Maybe play that video on a loop?

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Boreal's avatar

God's plan appears to be tax cuts for the already wealthy and serfdom for the rest of us. Praise jesus.

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larry parker's avatar

The meek will inherit the Earth. There won't be much left, but the meek will own it.

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Len Koz's avatar

The meek will inherit the Earth. In 6-foot-deep plots.

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Len's avatar

It’ll be mortgaged to the hilt. But they’ll “own” it.

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Lisa's avatar

Don’t you know? It is god’s will that most be struggling. If you want to be rich, you have to work hard and earn it. Just like Musk and Trump /s 🙄

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Richard Wade's avatar

Why does this brainless AND heartless drivel remind me of that utter crap from another Congressman who infamously said that a pregnancy from a rape is a blessing, because it's a "gift from God"?

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Lisa's avatar

Because they come from the same state? 😂🤦‍♀️

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Old Man Shadow's avatar

God has a plan for your life! Sometimes that plan is to die horribly, im agony, from cancer! Isn't God good?

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Lynn Veit's avatar

Our God Is An AWESOME God!!!!

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Jane in NC's avatar

"God has a plan" sounds like every parent's response of "You'll understand when you grow up" whenever they didn't know the answer to something. I think Alford's constituents should show him what it means not to 'have a federal job for life' come the mid-terms. Seriously, MO, surely you can do better than this bag of hair. Let him find out 'god's plan for his life.'

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

Someone needs to tell Alford that condescension isn't the best communication tactic to use with the people who voted him into office. 😝

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Jane in NC's avatar

Seriously, he should have had the guts to just come out and say it: "What did you dumbasses expect when you voted for a dolt like me?"

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Psittacus Ebrius's avatar

"... when you voted for dolts like trump and me."

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Lisa's avatar

I think he was so popular because he was a longtime local news anchor. He did a good job keeping his head down his first term and didn’t create too much controversy. He should really be better about reading the room.

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Jane in NC's avatar

I would have expected a professional news guy to be way better at presentation. Clearly, he doesn't do well without a script. Religious Ron Burgundy.

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oraxx's avatar

There is no horror that cannot be, and has not been, justified in the name of religion. If what Donald Trump is doing to the country and the people who work for it is ordained by God, then it makes me proud to be an atheist. He is yet another fool demonstrating the disconnect between religion and morality, and how authoritarian government and conservative religion are natural allies.

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Marie Lachat's avatar

Put that guys cruel comment on the dinner table and tell your kids to eat it.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

Or take it to the bank and try to pay your mortgage with it.

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Bensnewlogin's avatar

God has a wonderful plan for you. That’s what they keep telling us.

God has a wonderful plan for you, little Timmy. His wonderful plan includes you being terrified and scarred for life while a school shooter murders a bunch of other six-year-olds in front of you.

God has a wonderful plan for you, little Mary. His wonderful plan includes you being molested by one of his chosen representatives.

God has a wonderful plan for you, little Kelly. His wonderful Plan includes being demonized for being transgender By people who don’t know you or anything about you.

God has a wonderful plan for you, little Kwame. This Includes watching half of your village die of starvation Because the Christian government or the Muslim government Of your country is really much more interested in killing its political enemies than feeding you. Bonus points: your government may be demonizing gay people so that they can keep filling their personal bank accounts. Too bad about your older brother.

God has a wonderful plan for you, little Mohammed. This includes You and your boyfriend being publicly executed for being gay and 16 years old.

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cdbunch's avatar

Lassie took the bullet meant for little Timmy. But don't worry after surgery she'll recover so well, by the next episode, it'll be like it never happened.

(Sorry needed a little humor after that)

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Bensnewlogin's avatar

Lassie is a good dog, but a bit of a slut.

Rintintin, Rex the wonder dog, and the Taco Bell Chihuahua go into a bar, and they attempt to pick up Lassie. She says, “I’ll go home with the first one of you who can best use the words ‘liver and cheese’ in a sentence.”

Rintintin says, “I love liver and cheese.” Lassie says “ that’s no good!”

Rex says, “I hate liver and cheese.” Lassie says, “that’s even worse. It’s stupid!”

The Taco Bell Chihuahua says, “liver alone! Cheese mine!”

You may thank me later.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

And Ran Tan Plan (Lucky Luke), will look everywhere for the liver and cheese.

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Guerillasurgeon's avatar

Skippy the Bush Kangaroo? That's Australian but the closest I can come.

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Bagat's avatar

In breaking news, the TIDY BOWL man was killed by a falling log.

What hpened to Lady Sunbeam? Kelvinator.

What happened to Liz Arden? Max Factor.

At 3 in the morning when you're in bed, the Holsum bakers are robbing the dead.

Thank you for a memory that recalls these childhood dittiesand forgets to watch a program.

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Bagat's avatar

KERBOOM!!! A-bomb calling! Avon ad)

See the USSR in your armored car, Kruschev is asking you to come. (Chevrolet)

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Claudia's avatar

Don't give up the day job, dear.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

He may thank you for that advice later. :)

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Lynn Veit's avatar

I absolutely LOVED Lassie when I was little, but it must have been later episodes. I don't remember the ones with June Lockhart.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Those are the ones I saw. I missed the earlier Tommy Rettig ones.

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Bagat's avatar

SHOWING GOD'S "LOVE" AGAIN. GOD HATES DIVERSITY. IT MAKES PEOPLE SO DIVERSE THEN DEMANDS COOKIE CUTTER SAMENESS? LOLOLOL

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Hey, Alford...

Got any evidence that your supernatural bully exists or are you just blowing it out of your ass like all your brethren? If you've got the receipts, then we'd love to see them.

Anything credible and not just self-serving claims? Anything at all?

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

god exist because it's said in the babble that god exist because it's...

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Boreal's avatar

It's his tactic for when his rube voters get all their SNAP, SS and Medicare/Medicaid benefits slashed. He can tell them 'god' has a plan for them. No matter that the plan is more poverty and suffering.

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Len Koz's avatar

He didn't say it was a good plan, right?

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avis piscivorus's avatar

According to agnes bojaxhiu, poverty and suffering is a gift from god!

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cdbunch's avatar

FB.

She makes you hope there is a Hell and she is roasting there.

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cdbunch's avatar

And apparently, it's mostly the Pagans, Wiccans, and atheists who care.

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Lisa's avatar

My SS is just over $18,000/year. My sister has been sending me food. 😞

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Psittacus Ebrius's avatar

Actually, if you watch the video closely, Rep. Alford is speaking out of his ass - the mike is just a prop.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

I can't help but picture this

imgur.com/gallery/BVrehhB

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larry parker's avatar

Trees.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Nature doesn't need a god/religion. It does just fine all on it own.

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larry parker's avatar

You didn't even look at them, did you.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

?

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NOGODZ20's avatar

I figured there was a missing video. 😊

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Guerillasurgeon's avatar

"Everything happens for a reason". Someone said that to me after the death of our son. I had to walk away before I punched them in the face.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

You should have done it and send back their words to their face.

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SherylMiller's avatar

I saw the video of this right after it happened. MAGA is a terrible sickness here in MAGA MO

There are a few people like me who are fighting it as hard as we can 😢

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

𝐼 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑎 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑢𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛

Terrific. After a specious and utterly useless comment like the one Alford made, about the only response I could consider would be to turn on my heel and walk out. Honestly, I'm at a loss for words to express my disgust at Alford's attitude towards his constituents.

But then, he's a Republican. It's what they do these days. 😖

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ericc's avatar

I'm pretty sure the audience was willing to ask substantive questions. But to make that into a two-way discussion, the person answering questions has to offer more than one-line platitudes.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

Rachel Maddow recently reported that, owing to the confrontational nature of many town hall events Republicans have experience, that maybe they should stop holding town halls.

Another nail in the coffin of representative government.

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ericc's avatar

Maybe they should stop creating policies that ruin their constituents lives.

I mean sure, you can't please everyone. We all get that. But you can avoid the really horrible ones. A congresscritter telling his constituents that he approves of (up to) 30,000 of them getting fired by a billionaire is in the Flint, Michigan water supply switch category of FAFO.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

Sadly, the rep will come back with: "You voted us into office to put these policies in place," and the rep will be at least somewhat right. What we have here is yet another case of: "Oh, the leopard won't eat MY face!"

Uh-huh ... sure he won't.

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Claudia's avatar

Quote: "You voted us into office to put these policies in place," and the rep will be at least somewhat right.

Yeah, but you were only supposed to be beastly to the 'other' people!

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ericc's avatar

Pretty sure people voted for Trump because he promised to bring down the price of eggs and eliminate illegal immigration. AFAIK, eliminating USAID and firing nuclear security workers was nowhere in his campaign speeches.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

And those same people will continue to fail to realize that Trump is going to do what he wants, general public be damned.

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cdbunch's avatar

He has failed in the first and is unlikely to succeed in the second.

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Joe King's avatar

While I certainly would not condone violence at these town halls, I do have a tanker endorsement and can haul in the tar....

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

Funny thing. A bit earlier, I was thinking of what a shame it was that tar-and-feathering had fallen out of fashion.

The level of stupidity being represented by Trump and Musk and DOGE is beyond belief. They've fired, then been forced to rehire employees in at least three major government agencies, and that's probably not all of them. They've made clerical errors regarding their supposed savings multiple times, and they boast about their accomplishments just before they find themselves having to eat their words.

A bull in a china shop would have more selectivity than they've had to date.

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Whitney's avatar

"Clerical errors" sure, yeah, okay, we can call them that. Since we don't have any actual proof otherwise just yet, as it were.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

Yeah, yeah, I could have said, "slash and burn without regard to the topic or the line item," but I think that might have been gratuitous, wouldn't it?

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Lynn Veit's avatar

I'm pretty sure that's why they were there. "Tell us what's going on! What can we do? Can we apply for this or that aid? How long is this going to last? How am I going to get healthcare? Do you have any plans or ideas in place to help us?"

And they get some fucking soundbite from a sermon. Man's lucky they didn't storm the podium.

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Claudia's avatar

Healthcare is going to be 'fun' for a lot of these people. They'll lose their (employment-dependent) insurance, the ACA is being decimated and Medicaid is being cut.

Which will mean that more rural areas will lose their healthcare providers as the area will not have enough 'paying' customers to make the sums add up.

Fun and Games, I tell yer, it'll be fun and games.

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

And hospitals will close.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

gqp discussion "I speak, you shut up !"

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Lynn Veit's avatar

That's it in a nutshell.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

"I only wish we could have had a discussion," Alford whines. 😤🤬👿

There was a discussion, just not the one he wanted to have, so he dismissed it.

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Stephen Brady's avatar

People are losing jobs which will ripple out through the community and economy. The rethuglican plan to slash Medicaid will lead to vastly more medical bankruptcies and avoidable deaths. One can only assume the rethuglicans in Congress assume they can weather this approaching storm... but in tRumplandia there will be no need for Congress and Melon Musk will cancel it to save the expense...

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SherylMiller's avatar

Russuglicans!

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Whitney's avatar

Claiming that God has a plan is the worst sort of platitude; it fixes nothing, it doesn't make anyone feel better, and borderline blames the victim for a situation completely outside of their control. The kindest interpretation is that the speaker is just repeating something they've heard many times. In this case, what I'm seeing is a member of Congress trying to dodge responsibility for his own lack of action when the people of his district are being financially attacked for Trump's political agenda. Would that a recall could be effected in his bloody red district, but I suspect most of his constituents aren't quite ready for that yet.

Elections have consequences.

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TeeJAY's avatar

Agreed! It’s an easy out for someone who has zero empathy and who doesn’t have the balls he was born with to actually stand up for his constituents by being a real man who tells the likes of president lonnie and the demented Krasnov to pound sand.

Unfortunately, Missouri government is full of frauds like Mark Alford. 20+ years of nazi republiCONs destroying the state.

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John Smith's avatar

Being stupid has consequences. Yet these redneck will continue to accept that the blame for bad consequences is the fault of Democrats, atheists, immigrants, and others. The redneck will never do any introspection or thinking about their own actions or choices, for it is always someone else fault. Never themselves!!!!!!!!!!

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