200 Comments
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NOGODZ20's avatar

Time to unleash highly-qualified teachers in churches, private schools, Sunday schools, etc.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Starting with history and biology.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

And general science, perhaps starting off with the definition of the term, "scientific theory." Way past time that term was more properly understood by the religious community!

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

I have a ready answer for that. Go test the THEORY of gravity by jumping from a cliff.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

You know what they say: it's not the long drop. It's that SUDDEN STOP!

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Vanity Unfair's avatar

Things I have, almost, in common with Superman (early versions).

(1) Faster than a speeding pullet.

(2) More powerful than a Hornby locomotive.

(3) Able to leave tall buildings at a single bound (on the ground floor).

I haven't been able to test (1) for a while but it is probably true.

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RegularJoe's avatar

Depends on the pullet. 😉

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Straw's avatar

I always hope DT would try that.

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Sarah Longstaff's avatar

Fifth grade common core science did that—which is why the Right went after it. Third grade language arts drilled “text evidence.” I had such high hopes.

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Len's avatar

Depends which text.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

Sure, why not? I mean, fair's fair, right? They play in OUR playground; we get to play in THEIRS!

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XJC's avatar
4hEdited

Time for Christians to stop believing and start showing proof their omniscient, omnipotent, ubiquitous deity actually exists.

2025 years and counting.

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XJC's avatar

Muslims, Jews and all the minor league religions: you too.

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Old Man Shadow's avatar

He seems perfectly qualified for the real purpose of the program which is giving fundamentalist assholes access to school kids to convert them into twice the sons of Hell they are under the guise of being a trusted school official.

To say nothing of all of the predator pastors out there just waiting for a chance to have the same access.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

OT - Speaking of "the sons of hell," whatever happened to Duffy Strode? He wasn't a victim, he was a schoolkid in Florida, back in the 90s, I think, and he was quite fond of shouting at his teachers and classmates that they were headed for hell. Whenever the school tried to stop that nonsense, his parents would holler "persecution!" and descend on the school like rabid dogs.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Well, there wasn't any chaplain in my schools and look how I turned out. A pro-choice and pro LGBTQIA+ feminazi instead of a doormat sandwich maker.

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Joe King's avatar

To be fair, you went to school in a country where education is valued.

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Boreal's avatar

I”ll pray 🙏🏻 for you. 🤣

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Sorry, I only answer to canines' prayers.

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Boreal's avatar

Dog is great. Let us bow wow our snouts in prayer.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Dog is endlessly forgiving and loves unconditionally (though treats and scritches always welcome).

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Boreal's avatar

He’s a good boy! 🐕

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Rhapsodie didn't like me so much when it was so shower time 🤣

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Len Koz's avatar

None of them do when it's shower time.

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ericc's avatar

Is that someone who sits on the doormat making sandwiches, or someone who makes sandwiches out of doormats?

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Good question. Problem is, women on the maternal side of my family would be better at throwing a doormat at someone old enough to make their own sandwich to do it for them 🤔

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Len Koz's avatar

I'd prefer the former; the latter would do a real number on my bridgework.

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

💖😂

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Donrox's avatar

My school (60s-70s, Michigan ) had no chaplains, no prayers, no baccalaureate, and no moment of silence. Look how I turned out? Debauched reprobate reporting from inside enemy lies!

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

Once again, Florida and Governor DeSantis have jumped the shark with their misguided school chaplain program. Worse, they have a January 6th supporter as their first hire in the Hernando School District. Oh, sure, district policy insists that any participant will be “sensitive to religious pluralism and able to provide for the free exercise of religion by all students.” And we're supposed to just buy into that, hook, line, and sinker, eh?

Reverend Martin will, without doubt, have eyes on him. A LOT of eyes ... and he would do well to mind his behavior.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Of course, christianity is not known for repressing difference. Exhibit A, the number of sects ready to tear each others for a minor difference of doctrine.

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

He's trying to do as much irreversible damage, as he can, before he is termed out in '26.

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Linda's avatar

👏 I was wondering when he was up. Hope Florida gets rid of him once and for all.

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

He’s pissed off all the republicans, with his shaking them down for bribes, for his presidential run, they won’t allow him back in the trough now that he’s a proven loser. His only hope is the Wingnut welfare gravy train.

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Joan the Dork's avatar

He'd better polish up his best ass-kissin' lips if he doesn't want his next career torpedoed by Trump for the unforgivable sin of trying to muscle him out of his own movement.

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RegularJoe's avatar

Would and will.....such a wide gap 'twixt those two words in this context.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

True enough. One wonders if he is sufficiently self-aware to understand just how much attention he will garner ... from BOTH SIDES of the argument!

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Sarah Longstaff's avatar

Chris Rufo and Richard Corcoran. Florida is absolutely 100% corrupt.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

But he won't.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

It seems a lot of folks here are asking the same question, given his stated positions, why would we expect him to follow the rules governing church state separation? Well, if I have to tell you, I will tell you, this is exactly why he was chosen. Because the folks in charge know he won’t follow the rules, they know his history, they know his stances, and they know his plans. This is the purpose of the law, pretending it is otherwise is naive at best. Deathsentence… er Desantis specifically wanted to do this to get the religious foot in the schools’ doors. He and the school leadership are dumb enough to think that the opposition won’t see through their lies. Or at least they think there’s enough plausible deniability to let them off the hook when the shit hits the fan. That is why it is important for the FFRF to send these letters, to keep them from feigning ignorance. Ignorance of the law and ignorance of his intentions.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

They didn't just pick *any* religious nutcase, they had to scrape the bottom of the barrel and get a fucking Jan 6 supporter.

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dammit barry's avatar

A true kkkon supremacist "hero" of the theocratic dictatorship.

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XJC's avatar
4hEdited

'Badges? We don't need no stinking badges.'

Blazing Saddles (1974)

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Deathsentence is right.

𝐆𝐨𝐯. 𝐃𝐞𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚 𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐬 𝐮𝐩 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓

https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/local/state/2025/05/30/gov-desantis-signs-7-death-warrants-in-3-months-amid-trump-pivot/83902655007/

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NOGODZ20's avatar

How long before Martin gets caught diddling children?

I'm sorry, but with the endless instances of mixing xtian adults and schoolchildren and the police eventually becoming involved, this is what I've come to expect.

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Die Anyway's avatar

C'mon, could be something else. Embezzling funds, affairs with wives, cheating on taxes, and maybe someone should check activity on his GRINDR account.

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ericc's avatar

They want the 10C's posters hung up because they can't remember their to-do list.

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

That was my first thought, as well, he will catch young girls by the arm, in the hallways, and try to pull them into his office for a "session".

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scenario's avatar

Why girls?

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Good point, it is just as likely to be boys.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

"I think we need to talk about your college plans." "That argument you had with your teacher last week...let's talk about that, shall we?" "You seem to be doing well on your team. I'd like to talk to you about some athletic scholarships. It's very important!"

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Hannah olufs's avatar

Ugh.

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Psittacus Ebrius's avatar

He will then claim that he had a temporary moral malfunction and has since been forgiven.

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Psittacus Ebrius's avatar

BTW, did anyone take notice of who did not win the Nobel Peace Prize? Hint: Beware of flying ketchup bottles.

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Boreal's avatar

Reich Wing watch has been doing a great job of documenting them.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

You are not wrong.

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XJC's avatar
4hEdited

Blow jobs for Jesus. Think of it as job training with a higher purpose.

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Bensnewlogin's avatar

“ It’s a chilling snapshot of what happens when politics overtakes public responsibility. “

Well, that’s not fair. It’s barely adequate. It’s also what happens when paranoia takes a leadership role, culture war issues overtake a tethering to reality, obsessions about other people‘s genitalia overtake obsessions over one’s own, and authoritarianism overtakes any concern for democracy.

On the plus side, we will get plenty of new stories about Florida Mann.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

It's a telling indictment against my native state that "Florida Man" has become shorthand for a variety of absolute dumbassed morons and state embarrassments - and now, a particular stripe of villain that wants others around him subjugated to his odious vision of that state's future. I love my home state in spite of the six months of heat and humidity and I despise what the GOP has done to it.

I certainly hope that "governor" is the highest office that can ever be attained by that white-booted thug De Satan, but I know in my hearts of hearts that is a vain hope...he will go on to do far more damage if and when he ascends to ever-higher offices.

Edited for typo.

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Bensnewlogin's avatar

I certainly can’t disagree with you. To me, one of the weirdest things in the world is that the GOP has controlledthe red states for more than 50 years, and nevertheless, they still rank at the bottom of just about every measure of social well-being. And no matter what, the people keep voting for Republicans to keep doing what they’ve done for the last 50 years.

I’ve been to Florida many times, and although I’ve enjoyed my times there, it’s not a place that I have any desire to go to ever again. On the other hand, where else can you walk down the street and see a number of alligators waiting by the side of the road in case somebody doesn’t watch their small children?

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

I've never seen that in my 47 years here.

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Sarah Longstaff's avatar

He lacks charisma, and now apparently his fraudster wife/manager wants to run? The woman who let her kids throw green slime on the governor’s mansion ceiling, bc who cares about public property? We could have had Gwen Graham. 🤦‍♀️

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Not so sure, while he is as mean as dumpster, he hasn't "faking being the good guy" charisma the former has.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

Hopeful, but that guy has powerful backers and knows how to work the levers of power and influence. He has failed before because he was "too radical" even for the GOP, but now that climate has changed and they may now see him as just their type of guy. He may get elected to higher office despite such shortcomings; goddess knows such complete assholes have gotten elected before despite being and out and proud utter dickhead.

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Joan the Dork's avatar

Not despite, I think. The MAGAt base considers being an utter dickhead to be the bare minimum job qualification for any office of public trust, according to their voting record. Assholishness is a feature, not a bug; they conflate meanness with strength, and think that preferable to diplomacy.

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cdbunch's avatar

Toxic masculinity at its best. Might makes right. If they can't win in a fight for it, they don't deserve it.

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Joan the Dork's avatar

And usually, what they really mean by "fighting for it" is beating up someone smaller and weaker to 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘭 it. Or better yet, getting someone else to do the dirty work 𝘧𝘰𝘳 them so all they have to do is walk away with the loot.

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XJC's avatar

Condolences for your domicile.

Sunshine State? Or Sermon State?

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Lynn Veit's avatar

Hard to tell sometimes, isn’t it?

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Charles Newman's avatar

"Florida Man" dot com. Sad but true.

Pure entrainment😆

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Guerillasurgeon's avatar

Huffpost used to have a section on weird news... and a subsection called weird Florida.

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

6 months?

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Can anyone logically explain why public schools need xtian chaplains at all. Anyone?

How about you, Christians? And remember, I said "logically." I know that's not your forte, but give it a try.

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Joe King's avatar

It's because...

Well, you see...

I got nothing.

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Bensnewlogin's avatar

Well, that’s something!

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XJC's avatar

Quoting Kamala Harris?

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Hannah olufs's avatar

Huh?

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James's avatar

The logic, such as it is, is there's a shortage of credentialed counsellors. (That would be because Republicans don't want to pay people what they're worth, so don't look too closely under the hood.)

Having created the conditions that there are too few counsellors, they then invited religious clerics (non-Christians need not apply), because clerics=counsellors in religious communities.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

An ex boyfriend of mine went to a "Christian counselor." I went along as moral support. And I can tell you that pastor didn't help him one bit all he did was insist that they "pray together about it." As you can imagine, it didn't do a damn bit of good. I was mostly just embarrassed to be there; the man did NOT give one iota of helpful or useful advice.

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ericc's avatar

I had negative experiences with my HS guidance counselor. Frankly, if she had offered no other advice than to pray with her it would've been a step up from the actively bad advice she gave. But even so, yeah having this person being a social counselor in a school is just a giant train wreck waiting to happen.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

Edited for missing word.

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Sarah Longstaff's avatar

Yes. It’s to use shame and fear to traumatize children into being tithe-paying cult members. https://baptistnews.com/article/if-you-want-to-post-the-ten-commandments-in-schools-you-ought-to-learn-more-about-them/

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Eric's avatar

"The district says its chaplaincy program requires participants to pledge that they will be 'sensitive to religious pluralism and able to provide for the free exercise of religion by all students.' They also say chaplains 'may not proselytize for or disparage any religion, belief, lack of belief, or faith group.'"

This is meaningless. There are all sorts of circumstances in which people are expected to not do things, and are even prompted to pledge that they won't - and then do them anyway. It's nonsensical and naive to think Martin is going to be some principled man of his word and just not do questionable things because he told the district he wouldn't. If he belongs to this supposed "Black Robe Regiment" (which sounds asinine - these people have to glorify any sort of conflict) which apparently makes a point to "infiltrate" the public square with their religious belief, why would anyone suspect he isn't going to use this as his foot in the door?

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

People like Martin more likely will use the excuse of the "Great Commission" to take off and proselytize his ass off. The question then becomes whether or not they want to enforce that business about being "sensitive to religious pluralism."

This will tell us whether or not they're genuinely serious about ALL the parameters of this experiment.

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Joe King's avatar

Martin will claim he is following the rule by simply making it not mandatory for any student to use his "services". Every student who 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 choose to interact with him will still get the full court press.

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Len Koz's avatar

And to Martin, walking within range of his voice is interacting with him.

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ericc's avatar

The school may be stuck here; if he answers all the interview questions the correct way and signs the necessary paperwork, they might get sued if they didn't let him join. It probably now falls on the students to record him violating the terms of the agreement and then outing him, before the school has cause to act.

This is assuming the school is trying to do the right thing and just didn't have legal cause to turn him away. Several posters noted the area is a hotbed for dominionism, so it's possible the school administration thinks his dominionism is a positive and not even student pushback supported by video evidence is going to make them want to fire him.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

And that is scary.

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Joe King's avatar

𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑙 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑖𝑡—𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑦 𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑠𝑡-𝑐𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑜 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑚.

Just the highlights of the highlights listed concerning his views, it is not just likely, but inevitable that along with the forceful proselytizing, he is going to use his "authority from God" to do his best to convince students that the fascist theocracy of the Regime is thi only true way. Just having mine there will increase bullying, especially of LGBTQ and POC students. He may even invite ICE agents to arrest and abuse any student that can speak Spanish. Children may die because of him.

𝐼𝑓 𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑚 𝑖𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔.

If he's the best they can get, the district itself needs to be dissolved and absorbed into neighboring districts.

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

You assume the neighboring counties are better.

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Sarah Longstaff's avatar

Brooksville FL is named after a pro-slavery South Carolina congressman who tried to kill an abolitionist Senator in the US Capitol. It’s the kind of place where at town markets you’ll find crocheted wall hangings saying “Normal isn’t coming back, Jesus is.” That said, I got a few of my best students from that area, kids who came to me and said “my Christian school taught me nothing—please help me catch up!” The Stop Moms for Liberty chapter is pretty strong up there, too. Maybe check them out and support them.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

Just one look at that guy and you know he's a child molester.

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Yep, his face screams "stranger danger"!

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XJC's avatar

Note the requisite gut.

No exercise or healthy diet for the Blessed. Just lots of helpings of Jesus and prayer.

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James's avatar

I used to live near Brooksville. It's wingnut central. They'll go down fighting rather than release this guy from their programme.

There is no amount of tax money that's too much to fight a conservative culture war. Conservatism is very expensive.

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

👆🎯

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Lynn Veit's avatar

And that will drain away resources meant for the school children and teachers. Par for the course.

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OwossoHarpist's avatar

Only a matter of time before he's revealed to be a child diddler.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

In that case I hope the parents sue the school district for a Fort Knox mint *and win.* You can argue that would take money away from other kids, but hey...somehow those assholes have to be shown that dastardly actions have dire consequences. The only hit that matters to these clowns is a hit - a BIG hit - right in the pocketbook. Otherwise they'll keep ignoring rules and laws as mere inconveniences. Well, child molestation is a crime and they should learn what that means.

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Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

I agree with the sentiment, but it cannot happen. The most the school district would have to pay out would be $199,999.99. Anything over that would have to be approved by the legislature. The legislature that approved this program in the first place.

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Joe King's avatar

Has anyone checked his browser history for questionable content that may give him the "Not a Drag Queen" label?

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Just seeing this. You beat me to the notion by 8 minutes or so.

(your comment wasn't visible until AFTER I posted mine)

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Joe King's avatar

GMTA!

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

More like, attentive folks come to similar conclusions given the trends.

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Joan the Dork's avatar

Browser history, hell. This guy's giving off some serious "Law and Order Guest Star" vibes; better to check his house for interior doors that lock from the outside!

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Die Anyway's avatar

Forget it Jake, it's Brooksville.

Which, btw, I'm heading towards in a couple of hours. Going camping a few miles NE of Brooksville and just outside Inverness. It's time for annual trail maintenance on the Citrus County section of The Florida National Scenic Trail. Ten or so of us will spend 5 days chainsawing, lopping, brush hogging and otherwise clearing about 50 miles of hiking trail. There's electricity at the campsite so I can keep my phone charged and keep in touch with the world. Not sure if that's good or bad. 🤔

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Lynn Veit's avatar

I just took a two-week break away from computers and TV when I went to visit an old college friend in Western New York state. Other than hearing about the government shutdown, I heard nothing about politics. It was grand. We had a blast and I was happy. When I came back, I stayed away from political news for a couple of days longer, but eventually I had to know what was going on. Now I am fully back to depression and a growing sense of desperation.

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