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NOGODZ20's avatar

Is the Christian messaging truly so weak that xtians have to stoop to bribing childen?

Puny god.

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Dave Hopkins's avatar

Let’s call Jesus Freaks what they are: shitty witnesses to the faith they so ardently proclaim. They are petrified of the notion of selling a concept that most people find to be a total waste of time, so they find a political workaround to do for them what the Book of Romans expressly states that they need to do on their own as a tenet of what they believe. They are too chicken shit to “lead others to the Lord”, so they find politicians to do the dirty work for them.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

That NEVER gets old!

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NOGODZ20's avatar

I usually post this one

imgur.com/gallery/k5Fcucw

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JerryBier's avatar

Thanks for sharing that link. I now see that I have had an account with Imgur since 2019 that I had forgotten about... oh, and the memes are creative and funny. Thanks again.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Glad to do it. :)

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Septuagenarian Contrarian's avatar

I could watch that all day long🤣

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Septuagenarian Contrarian's avatar

"Puny god" I love that line when the Hulk stomps Loki!

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Matri's avatar

Their omniscient god knows nothing without their prayers.

Their omnipresent god can’t go anywhere without them to shove it in.

Their omnipotent god can’t do anything without them taking over the government.

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Maltnothops's avatar

Yes.

Or were you being rhetorical?

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NOGODZ20's avatar

We all knew the answer to that question. :)

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oraxx's avatar

Religious release time is mandatory because the churches have completely failed at getting their message out? Any child or parent who really wants religious indoctrination can easily get it, and there is no need for the State to be facilitating religion. Good that churches cannot lure kids in with treats, but this is lousy legislation all the way around.

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Munchygut's avatar

I've always looked at child indoctrination, before they reach the age of reason, borders on child abuse.

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Joe King's avatar

Kids bringing candy and prizes back from indoctrination time is disruptive? Get rid of the indoctrination time.

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑚 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡, 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑊𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑒 𝐶𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑆𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑙𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑟𝑖𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑖𝑡𝑠 “𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒” 𝑝𝑜𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑦 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑦. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑡𝑜𝑛 𝐶𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑆𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑙𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑅𝑒𝑝𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑠 𝑎 𝑙𝑎𝑤 𝑟𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑙𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑝𝑡 “𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒.”

Oh yeah. Butthurt Republicans won't let them. Funny how the party that shouts for local control of education at the top of their lungs prohibits that local control when the school boards do something they don't like.

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Joan the Dork's avatar

Republicans, I have it on good authority, will soon propose adding the words "𝘞𝘈𝘐𝘛 𝘕𝘖 𝘕𝘖𝘛 𝘓𝘐𝘒𝘌 𝘛𝘏𝘈𝘛!" to the end of the Pledge of Allegiance.

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Maltnothops's avatar

Whereas I append “would be nice” to the end of the PoA.

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JerryBier's avatar

It's their hypocrisy; they're too stupid/brainwashed to see the potential harm.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Good that they're putting a stop to this abhorrent practice.

After all, who offers candy to children as a lure? Oh, that's right. People who call themselves Christians. Especially Republicans and pastors/youth pastors.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

And guys in panel vans who want to lure kids inside... 😝

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cdbunch's avatar

Apparently, lost or free Puppies work well, too.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

It's nice to know that at least ONE school district in my home state has some common sense. Then, too, there's always this:

𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑒 𝒊𝒔𝒏'𝒕.

-- Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long

As bad as the voucher system is in Ohio, LifeWise isn't making matters any better with their attempts at proselytism and indoctrination. Columbus at least is calling them on the attempted bribes, which is something.

Honestly, I'll take any progress I can get. I just wish there were more of it.

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oraxx's avatar

Columbus, as you well know, is a university city and that makes a difference.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

So are Cleveland AND Cincinnati. Now if only THEY would wake up and smell the hummus!

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Where are the falafels and fatayers ?

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

We gots LOTS of falafel in Cleveland, and my fave place for 'em, as I may have told the gang here before, is Tommy's on Coventry in Cleveland Heights. Been going there since my time at Case Tech in 1972, and they're still going strong.

Don't know about fatayers, but Tommy's DOES do killer spinach pies with LOTS of neat additional fillings! YUM!!! 😋

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Fatayer is a spinach and sumac or pine nuts savory pastry.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

I Googled it, but thanks in any case. Don't think Tommy ever got into those, but he does lots of other yummy stuff, some vegetarian, some vegan, and some not (REALLY good corned beef!). It both astonishes and pleases me that he's been in business as long as he has.

Tommy's has become an institution in Cleveland, and I hope it never goes away. It's just too damned GOOD.

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Layla Rose's avatar

OT, but wow that sounds delicious. I'm kinda hungry right now, so concentrating is hard.

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Joe King's avatar

Cincinnati is too close to the Genocide and Incest Park, not sure what's wrong with Cleveland....

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

I LOVE Cleveland, have since I moved back here in 1978. Mostly I think the problem has been a succession of Republican governors who have soured things for the whole state, never mind the currently deplorable condition of Cleveland public schools. My suspicion is that they're too involved with trying to bring the system back to notice something relatively minor like LifeWise.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

When I was a Catholic child, we had "released time" to attend Catechism at the local parish every Tuesday. No candy or prizes. Just straight-on religion.

Maybe that's one of the reasons that I became an atheist. ;)

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Candies for indoctrination wouldn't have worked on me. OTOH, a plate of green beans or a piece of good cheese 🤣

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Len Koz's avatar

French kids are weird.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

I had the same thought but didn't say it. Green beans and cheese? The cheese, maybe... :D

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

I like green beans, a lot. But I don’t usually put them together with cheese.

Culvers has a side option of steamed broccoli that I like to get with their side of cheese dip, I just pour the cheese over the broccoli. Yum! I like the broccoli by itself too, though. But not more than the frozen custard with lots of chocolate.

I get that BH doesn’t have a sweet tooth, but I sure do. Though I like the veggies too. Just not Brussels sprouts or any type of cooked cabbage/lettuce type veggies.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

Broccoli with CHEESE SAUCE??? Double-YUM!!!

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larry parker's avatar

The only thing that goes with cheese dip are tortilla chips.

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Troublesh00ter's avatar

And let's throw some ground-up chorizo in with the cheese dip, just for fun! 😋

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

I agree with Val, blue or goat cheese dip is ambrosia with brocoli.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

I love green beans…for lunch or dinner. Snacks? That’s something else again. :)

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

DM kept the sweet tooth genes for herself 😁

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Len Koz's avatar

Ever make green beans with shallots?

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

I’m sure I’ve had them in a restaurant, but I’ve never made it. I like green beans all by themselves, their flavor is refreshing. I never make the green bean dish with the onions on top and tried it once and felt it was bad, covering up the bean flavor. I make a nice rice dish from my Iranian Uncle’s family that features green beans, it has some spices (not hot spices, just paprika and turmeric mostly) but the bean flavor is highlighted rather than covered up.

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

I do not like them Sam I Am.

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larry parker's avatar

Could you, would you, with a goat?

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Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

Has the goat consented?

How much tequila have I had?

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Only me. My nephew and my niece love them.

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Psittacus Ebrius's avatar

Would either of these treats been served with a glass of Chateauneuf-du-Pape?

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

Feher Arany or Rivesaltes, I preferred sweet white wines. Ironic, right ?

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Psittacus Ebrius's avatar

Le vin rouge est mon prefere.

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Septuagenarian Contrarian's avatar

Welcome to the club.

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Dianne Marie Leonard's avatar

Yeah, that's what happened to me, except it was after school and on Saturdays, not during the school day. Imagine my surprise when, in 6th grade, a classmate invited me to a vacation Bible class. (My mom said "no" because they were Baptists--heathens, in other words, trying to lure me away from the "one true religion".) One of the lures was lunch and prizes for students. That was the summer of 1964, so it looks to me as if these types haven't changed their methods in over a half-century.

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Maltnothops's avatar

They have had 2000 years to learn from their mistakes — and they still haven’t.

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Dianne Marie Leonard's avatar

They've learned one thing: get 'em early, at birth if possible. That's where the "4 to 14 window" thing comes in. The Baptists of my memory probably thought after-6th-grade (I was 11, going on 12) was in time enough. It wasn't. The kids in my family were weird: we all dropped catholicism by age 11 or 12. Our journeys out of religion were all different, and we all describe ourselves differently, but we are all one stripe or another of atheist. The nieces and nephew weren't as highly indoctrinated and they are mostly somewhere on the "leave me alone, don't bore me about that" spectrum.

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Lynn Veit's avatar

They've learned only how to weaponize their mistakes.

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Layla Rose's avatar

I remember being in Catholic school and the Catholic kids had that as well. I was raised protestant. So I got all my indoctrination on weekends (as well as some weeknights), as is right & proper. LOL

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Joe King's avatar

Not only are they no longer allowed to use candy, they aren't allowed to have the classes in white panel vans.

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Joan the Dork's avatar

Whaaaaat? Next you'll tell me that youth pastors won't be allowed to wear trench coats and sunglasses to sermons!

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

It’s a start. I’m actually amazed that there are so many parents interested in pulling their children out of school to attend the same classes they can send them to on Sundays and, at some churches, Wednesdays. I mean, I know some parents are that lazy and that gullible, but most parents are concerned about their children’s education and would balk at letting their kids skip classes, even for religion. But then, I’m not the target audience for this since I am not influenced by the push polls scaring folks into believing in litter boxes in schools and CRT in kindergarten.

One thing I am concerned about is the idea that the legislation mandating schools allow the release time could be construed by LifeWise and others to mean that the schools must force students to go to some release program. I remember working at the PR firm with a company that dealt with telephony and cell service. There was legislation that allowed the companies to charge fees for providing access in remote locations, the companies would put it on all the customer bills and told you when you questioned it, it’s supposed to only go for the affected customers, that the state mandated the fee. Which was not the case at all, the state allowed the companies to charge the fee, but did not mandate it, and the fee had restrictions the companies did not follow unless the customer knew about it and challenged the fees. I can see LifeWise pushing this type of narrative, especially with the mandate language being a part of this legislation. They seem to me to be this type of manipulative. Denying them the bribery could even push them into the manipulation. Not that we should allow the bribery, no I’m glad for that, but they will find other ways to get their claws into unwilling participants.

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cdbunch's avatar

Regarding the litter boxes lie, apparently in Texas they're trying to outlaw Furries in school altogether. No compelling reason to violate student rights like that, but since when do Republicans need a reason to pick on a minority of kids?

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ericc's avatar

𝐼’𝑚 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑧𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑙 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑐𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑛 𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠

I am skeptical this is actually being driven by demand for bible study. It's the churches that want it, it's them that put donations in the reelection campaigns of state and local officials, and the way they get kids on the bus is mostly through bribes, because leaving school is fun, and with the promise of a much easier elective than some school alternative. With the bribes shut down maybe interest drops, but the school system can't do much about the last two.

AFAIK, every state would allow a bible elective to be taught at the school, if the requesting students can show sufficient interest (e.g. 20+ students who want to take it). The reason you don't see bible electives is because there is practically no student interest for them. And while Ohio may be God's country, I would bet the same thing is true here - offer some regular elective and a bible elective in school, and watch the kids flock to the regular elective.

As for the voluntary/mandatory bait and switch, well hopefully the secular teachers at the school don't let that happen and let the kids know if they want to stay, there'll be a good elective class for them to go to. I also hope some accredited educational places participate in the program, giving the kids and parents really good choices. As I say below, I suspect that if Lifeway doesn't get the monopoly they think they're getting, they may stop pressuring lawmakers to have it at all.

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Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

Yeah, I’m sure it’s LifeWay pushing the law, but they have plenty of interest and parents still have to give permission. My parents would have refused no matter how much I pushed to go, saying my classes were more important. And they were religious, just not consistent in attending. But even my most religious friends, I can specifically remember one whose father was a minister, would not have been approved by their parents to attend church during school hours. They attended after school and Sundays. They did try to convince me to be a part of their clubs, and I tried them out, but it never lasted long.

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Claudia's avatar

I am trying to think back - I had proper religious instruction only ever as part of the prep for communion and confirmation. And that was completely separate from any school-related activity.

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Claudia's avatar

I am trying to imagine what the reaction of my school would have been if we had been allowed to skip (proper) classes for religious stuff. It would not have been allowed. Full stop. Having medical appointments during the school day was a bit frowned upon but it was accepted that it was sometimes unavoidable. But stuff like that? No sodding way! Any parent wanting to arrange something like that would have had suggestions presented to them that there is ample opportunity to schedule such activities OUTSIDE school hours!

(I have written before that my school was run by nuns?)

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Moe and Effie's avatar

They should also have a rider that says that once the kids leaves school property the school is not liable for anything that happens to the children who are no longer under their care, including, but not limited to, lost children, kids who get sick, kids who get abused by someone, etc. The school should be exempt from responsibility until the kid steps back on school property. This is effing ridiculous!!!

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ericc's avatar

It's in there: section B.4.

It's still not a good idea on transportation time alone. Also, if there's some bus accident, I'll bet the school still gets sued and still spends a lot of money on legal fees to defend themselves, even if they ultimately win.

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Guerillasurgeon's avatar

Usually, When strangers try to bribe kids with candy we put them in prison.

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NOGODZ20's avatar

Especially if those strangers transport the kids to someplace they're not supposed to be.

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JerryBier's avatar

This is nothing more than cult indoctrination. We send our kids to school to learn how to be successful in life, and indoctrination into Christianity should not be a part of the curriculum. We need to teach facts, science, and critical thinking, and religion hates all of these because when people get a good education, they usually stray away from the fairytales that ALL Abrahamic-based religions are made up from.

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Joan the Dork's avatar

"𝘞𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦..."

That right there is part of the problem. In this country, we seem to have this notion in our collective heads that the only thing school is good for is preparing children to join the workforce and make money- most of which will belong to someone else. That is what 'success' means in our context.

And that's just as bad as all the god-bothering.

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JerryBier's avatar

If we taught real critical thinking in our school system, that God delusion part would take care of itself.

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

They're simply not best 🎶

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RegularJoe's avatar

But Melanoma told them to Be Best.

(And yes, I did hear that in the Acid Queen's voice. 😉)

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Whitney's avatar

I would honestly expect instructors to have pop quizzes, testing, and other material important to the student's success happening while they're off at 'religious class' just to discourage attendance. I'm going to assume that there would be consequences for the instructors if they do that, though, more's the pity.

I suspect that these groups offering religious instruction will find other ways of rewarding kids for attending, possibly outings or other nonphysical gifts (i.e. not 'items' ) that skirt the new language written into the law. Getting around specific verbiage too often seems to be the favorite Christian pastime or something, so my bet is they'll at least make the attempt. Good luck to Ohio primary education instructors, it sounds like you'll be needing it very soon.

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Guerillasurgeon's avatar

I suspect that everyone will expect the teachers to work extra hard helping the kids catch up. Because you know – they've got all those holidays and all.

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Whitney's avatar

See, and that's what I really object to the most. The instructors in public schools are asked all too often to work excessive hours under difficult circumstances for zero additional pay or benefits to them. If the child's parents want their kid to go to school day religious education (indoctrination) instead of class, then those parents should be the ones helping the kid catch up - not the teacher. Asking more from both the kids and the teachers isn't fair to anyone, and while I don't object to parental choice in principal, I don't see a good way of implementing this without causing more problems than it's worth. It's not like churches aren't open weekends or something.

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Holytape's avatar

One rots your teeth, and the other rots your brain.

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Richard Wade's avatar

"Okay class, here is your daily math word problem: If Johnny's mother gives him ten pieces of candy, and Johnny gives two pieces each to Sally, Cindy, and Mary for coming to his Bible Study class, how many pieces of candy will Johnny have left?"

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Black Hole and DM mourner's avatar

0, he will have to give it back to the passtor as tithes.

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Alan Limke's avatar

Yes, children are missing music, art, gym, and my subject area, STEM, which are taught by licensed professionals, in favor of Christian Nationalism, iron-age fairy tales, creationism, and narrow views of morality, under the guise of character education. It is astonishing that this is happening in 2025. Last spring, children who attended LifeWise missed a month of eclipse activities. I retired.

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