280 Comments
User's avatar
Steven of the Club's avatar

This is a load of bovine fecal matter! I thought those same aliens stole my eggs but I found out later they were just making me a nice quiche.

Mark Carpenter's avatar

You rate. All I got was a frittata...

Bensnewlogin's avatar

Real men don’t eat quiche. Clearly you are in an alien baby replacement.

Steven of the Club's avatar

Real men don't care about your opinion of what we eat.

My mouth my choice, buddy.

NOGODZ20's avatar

He was joking. 🙂

Steven of the Club's avatar

yeah, figured. I'm just not taking chances when it comes to anybody taking any steps down the path toward getting the government between me and my restaurant server.

HoodyHoo's avatar

Damn, just an omelette. Full of Starbursts. The yellow ones.

Evan Hurst's avatar

If I was an alien I would also name my human-alien baby "Starburst."

larry parker's avatar

Could have been Baby Ruth.

Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

Leave poor little Jujyfruit alone. Junior Mint is upset too.

Gail M Doucette's avatar

Is it's father Starman? I heard he was waiting in the sky. He'd like to come and meet us, but he thinks he'd blow our minds.

RegularJoe's avatar

If we can sparkle, he may land tonight.

Jane in NC's avatar

Mars Bar would like a word.

Kay-El's avatar

So would my Skittle

Kay-El's avatar

So would my Skittle

455 Rocket Cat, Space Donkey's avatar

PINK Starburst

They are in the Akashic Records, bc of course they are nonbinary

wreck's avatar

Well, it was delivered in a colorful square of waxed paper.

Sko Hayes's avatar

Strawberry or orange?

Joe King's avatar

𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡’𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑢𝑠𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤.

Either you're not doing it right (abstinence only sex education might have led to the wrong hole) or you really need to see some doctors.

Lack of critical thinking skills + religion + probably used too much of her own supply when she was dealing meth = space baby delusion. A fertility clinic isn't the only doctor she needs.

Maltnothops's avatar

Having experienced infertility, neither my bride nor I ever thought to imagine aliens.

Sko Hayes's avatar

You have to do a lot of meth first.

The Epistler's avatar

Good thing we know Souza can hook us up when she isn't raving about aliens.

Bensnewlogin's avatar

Could the fault be with your imagination?

Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

You didn't drop enough acid in the sixties.

Len Koz's avatar

Wasn't at Berkeley with Spock.

Mark Carpenter's avatar

My husband and I are also childless. Can't figure out wonder why.

Oh, wait... 😁

Die Anyway's avatar

Have you checked the chimney for a stork nest? 🤔

Mark Carpenter's avatar

Didn't check the chimney, but I did check the cabbage patch...

Bensnewlogin's avatar

Just keep trying and pray to Jesus. Jesus himself said that if you ask gods for something sincerely in his name, God will grant it.

But there will be a price to pay. You will have to name the baby Ejynnall.

NOGODZ20's avatar

She's still pushing dangerous drugs. Just pushing the one called religion.

PhillyT's avatar

Exactly she traded one addiction for another one

Sko Hayes's avatar

I've seen this happen at AA meetings, people get sober, but get addicted to going to meetings. I stopped going after a year.

Bensnewlogin's avatar

A long time ago, I had a friend who hadn’t had a drink in 20 years, but still went to meet his every week.

oraxx's avatar

Religion exuses a lot of mental illness. Both on the part of the preachers and those who believe them. The fact the burden of proof is on her seems to go sailing right over her head.

XJC's avatar

That's why religion is such an easy con. She rakes in $2M a year selling stupid bullshit to suckers who can't get enough of it. Legal and far more lucrative than meth.

XJC's avatar
Aug 12Edited

Meanwhile atheism remains a hard sell and has almost zero commercial value. (Hemant as a sole crusader ain't gettin rich off our FA subscriptions!)

Straw's avatar

I hope he earns enough to get some meals once in a while.

Charles Newman's avatar

"right over her head" What's disturbing that there are many in the United States like Katie Souza. They won't and can't except that their religions are bullshit. Even with or without evidence and proof. Many were brain damaged when religions were first introduced to them in childhood.

In God We Trust? 😆🤪

Bensnewlogin's avatar

You know that and she knows that. Who doesn’t know it are her marks

Troublesh00ter's avatar

[sigh] And the dog ate my homework. Here we go again. A WHOLE bunch of assertions. Any actual PROOF??? OF COURSE NOT! Meanwhile, what was that old saying? Oh, yeah:

𝐸𝑥𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑐𝑙𝑎𝑖𝑚𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑟𝑒 𝑒𝑥𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒.

-- Carl Sagan

And Souza ain't got any.

Joe King's avatar

They think the bible is evidence and not just the claim. Getting them to think rationally requires teaching them a whole lot of basic concepts.

Maltnothops's avatar

I don’t think I have ever succeeded in getting a Christian apologist to understand the evidence/claim thing. The closest anyone came was to argue that one part of the bible is the evidence for a claim made in a different part.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Can you say, "Circular argument," boys and girls? I KNEW that you could! 😁

Troublesh00ter's avatar

And a whole shit-ton of UNLEARNING.

Charles Newman's avatar

" of UNLEARNING" Sometimes one can't fix stupid.

You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to. — Ron White 😆🤪

XJC's avatar
Aug 12Edited

The sine qua non of wasting time and energy. The Christian delusion is solid. Paul, the creator of the con/delusion, was a master scammer who franchised the business. He nearly put the Jews out of business!!

foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

....and in ABUNDANCE!

(She gots nots....)

Lise B's avatar

If someone is truly delusional, it is very difficult, bordering on impossible, to change or open up their mind. The delusion makes them seem that without it, they are just a “regular” person, no longer special. I know of alcoholics and druggies that feel that way about their drugs of choice, but the super religious, I find, are the most disturbing of all.

NOGODZ20's avatar

And they wonder why we don't take their beliefs seriously.

Maltnothops's avatar

My entire life I have wondered whether people like this — by which I mean people who make outlandish assertions — really believe what they say or are knowingly grifting. There are so many of these people! My supposition is that the vast majority are knowingly grifting and that a few are sincerely deluded. But I could just as easily suppose the opposite. I used to wonder if Soviet leaders really thought the USSR was a workers paradise.

Apparently Gorbachev was astounded that Eastern European countries would turn to the West when he allowed them to.

Maltnothops's avatar

Speaking of genuine delusion vs. grift, I just saw commentary that Mike Lindell is blaming his loss in the MN GOP governor primary on “irregularities” involving “someone” getting illegal immigrants to vote in the GOP primary for his opponent. Delusion or grift?

Joe King's avatar

A little from column a, a little from column b.

Val Uptuous NotAgain's avatar

I think in both of these cases, there’s some drugs involved, reality has been permanently altered in their minds and they can’t tell their desires from what really happened.

Guys, it was the meth.

Sko Hayes's avatar

Is anyone surprised?

Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

You've heard of dry drunks, well lindell is a sober crackhead.

Daniel P's avatar

I've had the same question. And the follow up, which is worse--the grifter or the true believer? I think you can make a case for both

Mark Carpenter's avatar

Hemet:

Warn us before you post articles like these!

I started laughing asI read this, and I couldn’t stop! I had to take three hits of my rescue inhaler so I could breathe again!

My only comment to Kate Souza is something which come directly from the Deep South, from whence I hail:

"Well, BLESS HER HEART! It's not like her mama didn't TRY..."

Sallyfemina's avatar

My mom was also from the Deep South, and her "bless your heart" game was en fuego.

Maltnothops's avatar

No MRI or X-ray image of the device?

Len's avatar

It was made of a special alien material that doesn’t show up on scans or x-rays. Silly.

NOGODZ20's avatar

Space case.

*theme from The Twilight Zone plays*

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Rod Serling wouldn't touch THIS one with a 10-meter cattle prod.

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Serling had a LOT of respect for his audience, and his efforts to produce quality content are a strong demonstration of that.

Souza? OY!

Joe King's avatar

Have you ever seen a preacher who respected their audience?

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Well ... the pastors at the Northfield Community Church I grew up in weren't anywhere near as far out there as Ms. Souza clearly is, and they were also decent and engaging people. Within the confines of a relatively conventional Christian belief system, they didn't insult my intelligence, at least not back then.

Souza's noise makes them look positively staid!

Joe King's avatar

Maybe I should have specified TV preachers.

Maltnothops's avatar

I put my father in the same camp — but I could be biased.

Straw's avatar

Wel, yes I have. Last time was at the funeral for my friend's dad, three or four months ago. In Norway the preachers have learned to respect their audience unless they want their audience to stop coming to their churces.

To be honest, very few Norwegians visit churches regulary.

Psittacus Ebrius's avatar

Maybe he did. Who can forget the episode with William Shatner as the passenger on a plane (a later film version featured John Lithgow) who is terrorized by that mischievous gremlin/alien. Could that have been Starburst? Or his daddy?

Sallyfemina's avatar

I LOVED the episode of "Third Rock" where Shatner guest-starred and he and Lithgow traded "thing on the wing" stories.

I was surprised they could get the lines out with their tongues so firmly in their cheeks.

Straw's avatar

Are you refering to 3rd rock from the sun?

I thought we had those disks, but now I can't find them.

NOGODZ20's avatar

There would have to be a major twist ending.

Maltnothops's avatar

Or it could have been the series ending episode. FU audience!

Troublesh00ter's avatar

I actually saw and heard Rod Serling speak at Amasa Stone Chapel on the campus of Case Western Reserve University, back in 1973. He was an engaging speaker, utterly opposed to censorship or network corporate BS. I just cannot feature his jerking around his audience.

It's just not who he was.

NOGODZ20's avatar

I saw him speak in 1970. He even took a question from me about his appearance on "The American Sportsman." He said he was glad I asked and went on to explain (wish I could remember what he said. It was a long time ago).

After his talk, he invited us on to the stage. I got to shake hands and talk with him. I was surprised to find I was 2 inches taller than he was (I'm 5'6").

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Very cool. The year before, the guest speaker was Isaac Asimov!

Zarawhoya's avatar

But being Transgender is unbelievable???

Sean's avatar

When her husband comes out about being anally probed, then I'll believe.

Len Koz's avatar

I thought that was called pegging.

Sean's avatar

Only when the alien (demon?) is female.

NOGODZ20's avatar

He can listen to this while it's being done

http://youtu.be/iwbPRJLa4CE

Len Koz's avatar

"This video isn't available anymore"

NOGODZ20's avatar

Fixed it. Refresh the page and give it another go.

Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

Peg O' My Nethers?

Peggo my Eggo?

Len Koz's avatar

What you do with your Eggo in the privacy of your kitchen is your business.

Lynn Veit's avatar

I still have one of their albums, but no stereo to play it on.

wreck's avatar

"this device obviously was harvesting them"

"Obviously" is doing a lot of heavy lifting there.

larry parker's avatar

Autocorrect. Should have been obliviously.

Zorginipsoundsor's avatar

Hey! Sure, Peanut Hamper has made some mistakes, but she is basically good.

Boreal's avatar

"A alien dingo ate my baby"

Troublesh00ter's avatar

And octowocklepocks done is got Albert! [Obscure line from a Pogo comic strip]

Bonnie Boyce's avatar

You gotta concede her creativity. Some people shoot up nightclubs for attention. At least this "Christian" preacher gets her attention in a less immediately lethal way.

larry parker's avatar

0 Points for creativity. It's been done before.

https://shorturl.at/wpotI

Len Koz's avatar

I miss the old days when the fairies were swapping out human babies for changelings.

Mark Carpenter's avatar

I can tell you with absolute assurance that my partner and I have never changed out any human babies for changelings.

Die Anyway's avatar

Are you bragging or complaining? 😉

Mark Carpenter's avatar

Thanking my lucky stars!

Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz's avatar

You can't prove aliens aren't fairies.

Len Koz's avatar

"I don't much believe in the wee folk and they don't believe in me, either."