126 Comments
User's avatar
RegularJoe's avatar

Sure, but did he turn anyone into a newt?

Christopher Myson's avatar

In the Staggering Stories of Ferdinand de Bargos ,Dr Arnold MacFadeyan (Glaswegian Hyper-genius) raised JFK and Marilyn Monroe from the dead! It's the episode "of JFK" and you can usually find it on YouTube, so there's real evidence!

Jane in NC's avatar

Do they weigh as much as a duck?

RegularJoe's avatar

My uncle invented the henway.

larry parker's avatar

I'd like to buy one, how much for a henway?

Maltnothops's avatar

About 6 or 7 pounds.

larry parker's avatar

(In a British accent) - How many pounds per pound?

foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

HAR!

Good morning, RJ! Thanks!

Die Anyway's avatar

I can turn a car into a driveway. 🤯

NOGODZ20's avatar

I want Mo'Wack to walk into any pediatric cancer ward with a local news crew (not hand-picked church flunkies) and do his ooga booga. Bet he'd find an excuse not to.

Joe King's avatar

He will quote Matthew 4:7, give them some nonsense about testing god.

NOGODZ20's avatar

As if an all-knowing, all-powerful being could ever be "tested" by mere humans. Do they not think this through?

Bensnewlogin's avatar

Of course they do. That’s why they say it.

Sinanju06's avatar

No. He should bring back Dolly Parton. Then I'd be a believer.

NOGODZ20's avatar

Trouble is, she died of cancer. If she comes back, the cancer comes back. She'll suffer again and will die again. No one should want that.

oraxx's avatar

If he is really so delusional that he believes what he's saying that's one thing, but if it's just an act designed to separate the gullible from their money it is infinitely worse. Religious scams abound, and the burden of proof is on him. Don't hold your breath.

NOGODZ20's avatar

If he truly believes what he says, he's a danger to others.

Daniel Rotter's avatar

Andrew "Wacky" Wommack.

foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

Good morning, Nogodz!

Seems like if this story was true, organized crime, or the "super-rich and afraid of death" (which seems to go together) would have him locked up in a cage somewhere a mile underground.

NOGODZ20's avatar

With organized crime alone, they'd see to it that he "sleeps with the fishes."

foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

True, to not bring enemies back to life.

But I feel confident every gang boss wants to feel invulnerable.

BTW, are we meant to assume that bullet holes, crushed skulls and cancerous organs all healed when life was "Lazarus- ed"?

foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

oraxx,

Good morning!

I'm convinced that MAGA believes that the same LIES Trump tells us, are purest truth to (and for) them.

(I think I know where he learned that "trick".)

Len Koz's avatar

Don't worry, if you hold your breath too long he'll just pray you back to life.

Boreal's avatar

And christians wonder why we laugh at them.

Jane in NC's avatar

I remember watching one of Christopher Hitchens' debates, don't remember which one, where he said, "The first time you accept something without evidence, you'll fall for anything." These are THE most gullible people on earth.

David Graf's avatar

Well, at least we bring some joy into your life. I know I do with many people. They see me and think "There but for the grace of God go I".

Boreal's avatar

Ignorance and willful denial of truth does not bring joy or make the world a better place for anyone.

David Graf's avatar

Even so, I wish you a good morning.

Boreal's avatar

Instead of that, you should take a college level course on developing critical thinking skills.

David Graf's avatar

I already did. Evidently, it didn't take in your opinion.

Boreal's avatar

Evidently it wasn't effective. You didn't learn how to analyze data or facts and be able to reject supernatural claims

larry parker's avatar

I'm going through the process of getting a death certificate for my mom. Lots of hoops to go through. I can't imagine the number of hoops for an undead certificate

Oh, what? .... there are no death certificates .. nevermind.

NOGODZ20's avatar

Death certificates are real, but undead certificates? Perhaps undead certificates are found under "Not Currently Respirating."

Robert Crone's avatar

Wow! And people wonder how Trump was elected twice. So much stupid out there it's amazing!

NOGODZ20's avatar

TRUMP: "I love the poorly educated."

We know why, Donnie.

Die Anyway's avatar

Half of the people are below average* in intelligence.

* or the mean or median. Whatever. A ship tonne of people are stupid.

Old Man Shadow's avatar

It's funny. I was a fundamentalist Christian for over thirty years who believed in miracles and that God was still working today and I've never seen a miracle.

I've heard stories about a lot of them, of course, not I've never actually seen one. The stories were always second or third hand, friend of a friend. Never personal. Never eyewitness. I've never met a man who was dead and came back to life. I've never met a paraplegic person who was walking around healed. Tens of millions of Christians will die this year. Millions will come down with disease and suffer for days to decades.

Even the purported miracles of the gospel were done in public, even the ones in private. Sure Jesus was said to have raised Jairus' daughter with only her family and the disciples present, but people knew the girl was dead and would see her walking around later.

Just fucking stop lying. Just stop it. If God and Christianity and religion cannot stand on its own without lies, then it's not worth lying for. You're a cheap suit and a cult leader.

XJC's avatar

Old Man, how much money did God take from you? That's the measure of your worth is Christendom.

Boreal's avatar

Just as christians cannot offer any evidence of their jesus claim or his 'miracles'.

https://skepticink.com/backgroundprobability/files/2015/07/hitchens-razor.png

Joe King's avatar

[𝐼]𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑑𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝑤𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 50 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑑.

Names? Dates? Locations? Hospital records? Death certificates? Any evidence that isn't "Trust me bro"?

Coming back from near death happens all the time. Coming back from actual death has never been reliably recorded.

https://youtu.be/xbE8E1ez97M?is=sp-QOzCFFbFHHe7f

foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

Good morning, Joe!

I'm waiting to see someone raised from the STUPID!

Joe King's avatar

That might be a bigger miracle.

Die Anyway's avatar

I hear that the Catholic Church is going to canonize Trump as St. Upid.

Bensnewlogin's avatar

Saint Stupid already lives. He’s the patron saint of April 1. Saint stupid says…

I know I know, but you know, you never know.

I have quoted Saint stupid for many years.

foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

EVERYONE STOP!

We have our WINNER!!!

Maltnothops's avatar

Have any of the resurrected complained about being dragged out of heaven?

NOGODZ20's avatar

If the dead had been ill with cancer when they died, would they scream at the person who brought them back “I escaped it and now I have to suffer more because of you?”

larry parker's avatar

Clutching their pearls (in the form of a gate)?

Troublesh00ter's avatar

No, but Tolian Soran is still bitching about the Enterprise-B and Scotty dragging him out of the Nexus!

Len Koz's avatar

You're dead, Jim.

Jane in NC's avatar

Oh, lovely. As if christian nationalists aren't bad enough, now Andy claims to have a zombie army of them? Sure, Jan. 😂😂😂

Troublesh00ter's avatar

So now they're raising people from the dead, eh? Got ONE WORD for you, Wommack: "PROOF." I want to see PROOF, as in qualified witness, preferably medical professionals. I don't want to hear about: "They were non-responsive," and then somehow they were. I'm talking about a flatline cardiac signal, otherwise known as "asystole," and for more than five minutes. All the circumstances, as well as EVERYTHING that was recorded on their medical charts.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, bubby, and I'm willing to bet you ain't got the goods.

Bensnewlogin's avatar

Oh, you! Proof is for sissies!

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Believers all say that ... while talking on their cellphones, driving in their cars, guided by GPS, and living their lives, denying the science that improves them because it depends on PROOF.

Bensnewlogin's avatar

GLODDAMMITTT! THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO WAKE UP TO IN THE MORNING?

I’ve been good. I made a nice dinner last night. My eye infection is getting better. I haven’t even gotten a parking ticket. And…

GLODDAMMITTT! THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO WAKE UP TO IN THE MORNING?

“WOMMACK: We’ve seen… I’m guessing now… I haven’t sat down and counted. But I could say: We probably have seen four or five people raised from the dead right here on our campus.”

He’s guessing. Something as stupendous as a mere human raising people from the dead, somebody nobody has done since Jesus*— not merely dead, or even nearly dead, but really most sincerely dead— and he hasn’t sat down and counted how many there were. He’s just guessing. So four or five, somewhere around there, and right there on their campus.

But he’s just guessing.

And this? “ Peter] had been dead over four hours. He was already stripped naked—he was a white boy, he turned Black—and he had a toe tag on, stripped naked on a cooler, in a morgue, and he had already been pronounced dead and put in a morgue.”

No, nothing creepy about that. Nothing creepy at all. Not creepy. It’s not. Creepy. Even if Wommack isn’t a youth pastor. It’s not creepy.

The thing that pisses me off about this garbage is that decent christians are just laughing about it, saying “them Fundies. ain’t they funny?” concerned evangelical are saying nothing about it, because it makes them look entirely stupid if they support it, and they know it. But it makes them look like traitors to the evangelical cause if they do say something about it, and they’re not going to take a chance with that. Actually talking sense might discredit their entire movement, and then what would they do for power and money?

It’s always about power and money. I’ve been saying for years it’s about power, money, religious Dominion, and in the age of Trump, revenge on everyone that is ever looked at them with anything but abject obedience, submission, servility, and docility.

But it is clear that it is about one more thing: CORRUPTION.

* or before Jesus or during Jesus, but I’m not here to quibble

Troublesh00ter's avatar

Wommack loves the poorly educated likely for the same reason that Donald Trump does: you can tell them anything and they sop it up like a dry sponge.

In an age of science and information, I'm not sure we can afford this level of stupidity and purposeful ignorance anymore. It costs us too much in too many different vectors, and it holds us back individually and collectively from what we could be.

The base problem is that the same people are disinterested in actual learning. What you do about that, I don't know.

XJC's avatar

Plenty of gullible, not so smart people to go around. It's Trump's audience.

wreck's avatar

"WOMMACK: And so… we see a lot of people raised from the dead. We’ve seen it in Chicago. We’ve seen it in Atlanta through our schools there… One in Grand Rapids"

♫Heard about Houston? Heard about Detroit? Heard about Pittsburgh, P.A.?♫

Joe King's avatar

𝑂𝑛𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝐺𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑅𝑎𝑝𝑖𝑑𝑠—𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝐵𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑠ℎ, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑡, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑦𝑐𝑙𝑒… ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑎 𝑤𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑑, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑚𝑏𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐵𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑦 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑝 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑝𝑟𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑖𝑚, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑔𝑢𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒, 𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑑.

No medical personnel verified death. How did these religious randos determine that the biker was, in fact, dead? Did any of them perform first aid, or did they just stand back praying until paramedics arrived? In other words, "That crash was bad, the guy must be dead. Let's pray. Oh wow, the EMTs say he's alive, wow, God raised him from the dead!"

Len Koz's avatar

I doubt the motorcycle crash even happened.

Bensnewlogin's avatar

I doubt the motorcycle even happened. I win!