That anyone could convince themselves building this monstrosity was a good idea, speaks directly to what rational people are up against. Stupidity doesn't always win in the end, but common sense makes the news when it prevails.
Ark 1.0 impounded for safety violations is pretty funny. Imagine what Noah would have had to deal with:
"Mr Noah, I can't let you use this boat. There is insufficient sanitation and ventilation for live cargo, as well as no space for food stores. That violates animal welfare statutes. Also you have a noticeable lack of refrigeration to have the cargo meet food safety standards if you intend to butcher all the livestock to get around the sanitation and ventilation issue, especially for your planned length of voyage. Permits and registration denied!"
Okay... well, the point of the story was the Jewish writer(s) hijacking a Mesopotamian myth to adapt it to show that their tribal god was better than the gods of Mesopotamia.
But aside from that, the point of the story is faith.
The waters that show up are magic. Earth doesn't have that much water.
The animals showing up from North America, South America, Australia, and Antarctica are magic.
The predators not eating the herbivores are magic.
The animals returning to their continents of origin are magic.
The fish surviving is magic.
The primitive boat is magic.
You can sub in God for magic, but that's the bloody point, inn't it?
You can't explain this story literally. You can't rationalize it. You can't reconcile it with science. The story is about faith. One guy listened when the rest of humanity didn't.
You're not going to PROVE the damn myth. Better to spend your time and money on the poor and needy and hungry than to waste it on trying to prove a myth.
Someone should make it into a floating museum... to the long and exceedingly bloody history of Christianity. A monument to one of their god's genocides becoming a monument to their 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘰𝘯'𝘴 many genocides- what could be more fitting?
Huibers almost certainly wouldn't approve of that. The man is clearly a true believer, though I doubt he understands the impossibility of a wooden boat the size of the ark and how structurally unstable it would be. Look up the Schooner Wyoming, for example!
We need an even more extreme word than "genocide" to describe God's murder of the entire human race...a crime of cosmic proportions, which only a monstrously evil deity could carry out....
"And the LÄRD said: 'Thou shalt not be able to obtain property damage liability coverage, for I shall turn the underwriter's heart against thee.'" (Second Actuaries 19:4)
OG Boaty McBoatface was supposed to be a cool science ship, before stodgy curmudgeons vetoed the poll results.
𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘯 Boaty McBoatface is an eyesore lacking the ability to function under its own power, suspect in stability and structural integrity, of no practical utility, and dangerous to everything around it.
So... it's a pretty good representation of the religion that inspired it, actually!
The Boaty McBoatface saga is legendary, hilarious...and (thanks to the stodgy curmudgeons) disappointing. They ended up putting the name, not on a proud seafaring vessel, but a tiny robotic submarine...the welching bastards!
“…spread a message of faith, hope, love and perseverance”
These things are a symbol of a godly genocide. A god thing that killed off every living man woman and child except for one family. Not to mention all the animals of the world that also were drowned… Puppies, kittens, bunnies… imagine going to a hospital nursery rounding up all the newborns and tossing them in a pool of water to drowned them, they celebrate this being done on a global level.
What a freaking sick superstition. Spread that love!
Not to mention the following re-population by incest... there sure is a 𝘭𝘰𝘵 of that shit in their holy book; it's in their creation myth, their flood myth, their fire and doom from on high myths...
But somehow 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 the ones who can't be trusted around children.
Which is... all the fucking time. The Old Testament is like the bronze age equivalent of the taboo section on a poorly-moderated fanfic forum, only with half as much imagination and twice as much squick.
I find it ironic that the stone tablets containing the Ten Commandments were housed in the Ark of the Covenant. That Ark became a forbidden golden idol when the Israelites trusted in the power of the Ark without giving glory to the Hebrew god it was meant to point to. Oops.
Terrific. An ark that more closely resembles a white elephant! I have to wonder if Huibers opted to put some means of propulsion in it to make it more viable in the sea lanes. I mean, just HOW did Huibers get it to Ipswich? Tug boats? Without power amidst modern sea traffic, his ark would be a very obvious menace.
And thus we have more wonderful intelligence from the bible ... YUK! 😝
I would have fun if that were my barge. Or boat. As long as it can be powered and steered, I could visit port cities and annoy them with snakes. Me and my floating snake museum!
Sure would like to know where Noah found two anacondas. They only exist on the other side of the world from him. A hemisphere the Flat Earth Noah would have no knowledge of.
A Floating Seraglio of Sexual Putrescence!!! Using the ark as a den of ill repute would be fitting, but to make it scripturally-sound it would be required to only allow incestuous polygamous fornication, as in father to various daughters. The ark would also be biblically-required to demand paternal drunkenness during its paternal incestuous polygamous fornication with daughters. And in an additional touch of scriptural authenticity, paternal drunken nude exhibitionism is required in front of teenage sons. No additional information has been given about bestiality, though with so many animals around that's a possibility. Biblical scholars are currently consulting with churchly attorneys on the topic, to see how much churche$ can get away with. Tax exempt, of course.
After failing his way clean out of Washington, Matt Gaetz is taking up a new career... as an OAN host. Oof. Not Fox News, which we know may soon have a seat for a new host available; they evidently didn't want him. Not even Newsmax, aka Fox's creepier, even more racist and inbred cousin, wanted him. He had to settle for OAN, aka Newsmax's creepier, even more racist and inbred cousin, which has no coverage to speak of because none of the major TV service providers want anything to do with it.
So very, very much is so very, very wrong with this.
"We have been trying to find another partner for 8.5 years now and I have traveled all over the world, from South Korea to Brazil. But unfortunately, it has not yielded anything so far," says Huibers.
Have you tried prayer? I'm told it works wonders like...like...well, there was something, as recently as last tuesday.
"He argued that those details didn’t really matter since the people who might notice the differences were probably True Believers™ already."
The details NEVER matter, not to the sort of Christian who is so obsessed with his religious megalomania and over-identification with his god that he would spend millions on a vanity project. god didn't say "stroke your own ego." God said "stroke MY Ego."
The children will get molested, people will starve, the wars will continue, the rich will get richer...
Only selling it to someone with good intentions, eh? Hasn't Huibers read the 7 fundamental tenets of TST? THEY certainly have good intentions. It's Christians who have trouble with those.
But can it really be considered a boat if it was never intended to actually float? Perhaps "boat-shaped" or "it looks kind of like a boat, if the boat was designed by idiots based on vague descriptions in a really old book of mythology" or even "boat" in scare quotes. ;-)
Johna Huibers is going through the three emotional stages of boat ownership: 1 - The joy on the first day of owning a boat. 2 - The joy from the first time sailing the boat. And 3 - The day the owner sells the damn boat. He should market it as a floating barn and stock it with ewes and I’m sure it will appeal to Zoophil….er farmers who will fully appreciate it as the floating broth… um barn it should be.
Yeah, you gotta wonder what they were thinking giving him $millions without any sort of decent business plan. Of course the real idiot banker isn't the V1.0 financier, it's the V2.0 financier after seeing V1.0 make nothing.
That anyone could convince themselves building this monstrosity was a good idea, speaks directly to what rational people are up against. Stupidity doesn't always win in the end, but common sense makes the news when it prevails.
𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑒 𝐼𝑆𝑁'𝑇.
-- Robert A. Heinlein, T̲h̲e̲ ̲N̲o̲t̲e̲b̲o̲o̲k̲s̲ ̲o̲f̲ ̲L̲a̲z̲a̲r̲u̲s̲ ̲L̲o̲n̲g̲
It’s so rare that it is classified as a super power.
I've often wondered why two of the least common human qualities are referred to as common sense and common courtesy.
Ark 1.0 impounded for safety violations is pretty funny. Imagine what Noah would have had to deal with:
"Mr Noah, I can't let you use this boat. There is insufficient sanitation and ventilation for live cargo, as well as no space for food stores. That violates animal welfare statutes. Also you have a noticeable lack of refrigeration to have the cargo meet food safety standards if you intend to butcher all the livestock to get around the sanitation and ventilation issue, especially for your planned length of voyage. Permits and registration denied!"
And how would the party of "Law and Order" react?
"We need to get rid of the regulations!"
That’s already on the Project 2025 manifesto.
The point of the story is faith.
Okay... well, the point of the story was the Jewish writer(s) hijacking a Mesopotamian myth to adapt it to show that their tribal god was better than the gods of Mesopotamia.
But aside from that, the point of the story is faith.
The waters that show up are magic. Earth doesn't have that much water.
The animals showing up from North America, South America, Australia, and Antarctica are magic.
The predators not eating the herbivores are magic.
The animals returning to their continents of origin are magic.
The fish surviving is magic.
The primitive boat is magic.
You can sub in God for magic, but that's the bloody point, inn't it?
You can't explain this story literally. You can't rationalize it. You can't reconcile it with science. The story is about faith. One guy listened when the rest of humanity didn't.
You're not going to PROVE the damn myth. Better to spend your time and money on the poor and needy and hungry than to waste it on trying to prove a myth.
They may never be able to 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦 the myth, but they'll never stop trying to 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘵 off of it, either.
And isn’t profit the TRUE message of Christianity?
I thought they were supposed to beware of false profits?
Oh, wait, it's false *prophets* (like us and anybody else who laughs at their stupidity).
Sorry, my bad.
That's what happens when the homo(phones) get involved...... ;-)
👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆
Someone should make it into a floating museum... to the long and exceedingly bloody history of Christianity. A monument to one of their god's genocides becoming a monument to their 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘰𝘯'𝘴 many genocides- what could be more fitting?
Huibers almost certainly wouldn't approve of that. The man is clearly a true believer, though I doubt he understands the impossibility of a wooden boat the size of the ark and how structurally unstable it would be. Look up the Schooner Wyoming, for example!
We need an even more extreme word than "genocide" to describe God's murder of the entire human race...a crime of cosmic proportions, which only a monstrously evil deity could carry out....
𝘖𝘮𝘯𝘪cide, perhaps?
I was thinking about that, just didn't make the comment. Brava!
I'm down with that, as long as I can keep my snakes too! And no fixed itinerary, because nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Ken Ham's Ark was flooded the first year it opened. And he complained about the insurance.
Yeah, BIG surprise there ... NOT! A wooden structure of that size is beyond impractical.
I thought Hamm's was cement and couldn't float?
"And the LÄRD said: 'Thou shalt not be able to obtain property damage liability coverage, for I shall turn the underwriter's heart against thee.'" (Second Actuaries 19:4)
Boaty McBoatface, Christian style.
OG Boaty McBoatface was supposed to be a cool science ship, before stodgy curmudgeons vetoed the poll results.
𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘯 Boaty McBoatface is an eyesore lacking the ability to function under its own power, suspect in stability and structural integrity, of no practical utility, and dangerous to everything around it.
So... it's a pretty good representation of the religion that inspired it, actually!
The Boaty McBoatface saga is legendary, hilarious...and (thanks to the stodgy curmudgeons) disappointing. They ended up putting the name, not on a proud seafaring vessel, but a tiny robotic submarine...the welching bastards!
“…spread a message of faith, hope, love and perseverance”
These things are a symbol of a godly genocide. A god thing that killed off every living man woman and child except for one family. Not to mention all the animals of the world that also were drowned… Puppies, kittens, bunnies… imagine going to a hospital nursery rounding up all the newborns and tossing them in a pool of water to drowned them, they celebrate this being done on a global level.
What a freaking sick superstition. Spread that love!
Not to mention the following re-population by incest... there sure is a 𝘭𝘰𝘵 of that shit in their holy book; it's in their creation myth, their flood myth, their fire and doom from on high myths...
But somehow 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 the ones who can't be trusted around children.
Abraham married his half-sister Sarah. They had the same father (Terah). Together, Abraham and Sarah produced Isaac.
Moses and Aaron also came from an incestuous relationship. Daddy Amram married his sis, Jochebed.
What are ya tryin’ to say? Lol
Seems incest is forbidden in the bible...except when it's okie-dokie. :D
Which is... all the fucking time. The Old Testament is like the bronze age equivalent of the taboo section on a poorly-moderated fanfic forum, only with half as much imagination and twice as much squick.
I find it ironic that the stone tablets containing the Ten Commandments were housed in the Ark of the Covenant. That Ark became a forbidden golden idol when the Israelites trusted in the power of the Ark without giving glory to the Hebrew god it was meant to point to. Oops.
You raise a good point...no wonder so many of the followers are okay with incest.
It's beyond genocide. I refer to it as omnicide.
Terrific. An ark that more closely resembles a white elephant! I have to wonder if Huibers opted to put some means of propulsion in it to make it more viable in the sea lanes. I mean, just HOW did Huibers get it to Ipswich? Tug boats? Without power amidst modern sea traffic, his ark would be a very obvious menace.
And thus we have more wonderful intelligence from the bible ... YUK! 😝
It actually resembles TWO white elephants: one male and one female.
I would have fun if that were my barge. Or boat. As long as it can be powered and steered, I could visit port cities and annoy them with snakes. Me and my floating snake museum!
I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking boat!
Sure would like to know where Noah found two anacondas. They only exist on the other side of the world from him. A hemisphere the Flat Earth Noah would have no knowledge of.
They hitched a ride with the platypi.
Platypuses: it's from Greek, not Latin.
Or, if you really want to show off, platypodes
Oxford English Dictionary, s.v. “platypus (n.), Etymology,” September 2024, https://doi.org/10.1093/OED/1275786151.
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/242764e8a27e42e9bffcaeacdaad088b942eb68144bcedc205e56d54315a1b78.png
A Floating Seraglio of Sexual Putrescence!!! Using the ark as a den of ill repute would be fitting, but to make it scripturally-sound it would be required to only allow incestuous polygamous fornication, as in father to various daughters. The ark would also be biblically-required to demand paternal drunkenness during its paternal incestuous polygamous fornication with daughters. And in an additional touch of scriptural authenticity, paternal drunken nude exhibitionism is required in front of teenage sons. No additional information has been given about bestiality, though with so many animals around that's a possibility. Biblical scholars are currently consulting with churchly attorneys on the topic, to see how much churche$ can get away with. Tax exempt, of course.
I've always felt that the centaur that walks off the ark in Genesis 8 is pretty strong evidence somebody slept with one of the horses.🤔
https://imgur.com/JHKyK4x
https://i.imgur.com/cfbTodn.jpeg
youtu.be/_EPsuOEH1fY
"Ohhhhh Wilburrrrr..."
Welcome aboard the USS Sodom! :D
All Hands on Dick...er, Deck. :)
"...long and hard and filled with se(a)men."
I'd say both arks succeeded beyond Huibers wildest imagination - in proving that this floating zoo was a nonsensical myth. Kudos Johan!
Also, if some atheist group doesn't use a straw purchaser and snap this thing up for a Noah's BonFyre Festival, what are we even doing?
Break it down for the wood and build a village for the homeless.
OT- Oh, the shame: https://apnews.com/article/gaetz-oann-talk-show-conservative-adac07541f20a797fbab9c8f8695128d
After failing his way clean out of Washington, Matt Gaetz is taking up a new career... as an OAN host. Oof. Not Fox News, which we know may soon have a seat for a new host available; they evidently didn't want him. Not even Newsmax, aka Fox's creepier, even more racist and inbred cousin, wanted him. He had to settle for OAN, aka Newsmax's creepier, even more racist and inbred cousin, which has no coverage to speak of because none of the major TV service providers want anything to do with it.
Cue the laugh track!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fURU9GuLlos
OAN, where cavemen go to grunt.
What the hell is wrong with his mouth? Is one side of his face paralyzed?
So very, very much is so very, very wrong with this.
"We have been trying to find another partner for 8.5 years now and I have traveled all over the world, from South Korea to Brazil. But unfortunately, it has not yielded anything so far," says Huibers.
Have you tried prayer? I'm told it works wonders like...like...well, there was something, as recently as last tuesday.
"He argued that those details didn’t really matter since the people who might notice the differences were probably True Believers™ already."
The details NEVER matter, not to the sort of Christian who is so obsessed with his religious megalomania and over-identification with his god that he would spend millions on a vanity project. god didn't say "stroke your own ego." God said "stroke MY Ego."
The children will get molested, people will starve, the wars will continue, the rich will get richer...
... in either case.
pRAY HARDER!!!!!!!
Gee, it’s almost as if “God” was trying to send him a message…
Only selling it to someone with good intentions, eh? Hasn't Huibers read the 7 fundamental tenets of TST? THEY certainly have good intentions. It's Christians who have trouble with those.
That's the problem. For them, "good intentions" means "pushing Jesus", not "intending to be good to people".
We tell them what the road to hell is paved with.
I would lie... but then, we're famous for that, right? Father of Lies, hail!
And then, after the papers are signed, I'd whip away the ruse and laugh.
The one in Kentucky is 1/2 boat 1/2 office building.
https://www10.aeccafe.com/blogs/arch-showcase/files/2016/09/Ark-Encounter_Phase-1_Ark_Drone_Lake_High-Res_06162016_0002-600x337.jpg
But can it really be considered a boat if it was never intended to actually float? Perhaps "boat-shaped" or "it looks kind of like a boat, if the boat was designed by idiots based on vague descriptions in a really old book of mythology" or even "boat" in scare quotes. ;-)
It’s pronounced “scam”.
But, but... it has a bulbous bow* and everything.
*Not invented until the early 1900s.
ARK: "Does this bow make me look fat?"
I'm blaming YOU for the thought that ran screaming though my head about 'child bearing hips'! :p
😂🤣😂🤣
Johna Huibers is going through the three emotional stages of boat ownership: 1 - The joy on the first day of owning a boat. 2 - The joy from the first time sailing the boat. And 3 - The day the owner sells the damn boat. He should market it as a floating barn and stock it with ewes and I’m sure it will appeal to Zoophil….er farmers who will fully appreciate it as the floating broth… um barn it should be.
A boat is a hole in the water that you throw money into.
Bust Out Another Thousand.
I can't imagine any bank actually loaning money to someone who wants to build a replica of Noah's Ark. My bank?😅🤣😂😁😀😃
When that ark crashed into the other boats was that an "ark of God" that they could use their insurance for? 🙃
Yeah, you gotta wonder what they were thinking giving him $millions without any sort of decent business plan. Of course the real idiot banker isn't the V1.0 financier, it's the V2.0 financier after seeing V1.0 make nothing.